Ryan Gosling Is Such A Loving Father To Your Child

I’ll wait here while your ovaries twirl out of your vagina and form a heart shape around this picture before exploding into a white mist that will dance on a wave of wind to Upstate New York and land on the bottom of Ryan Gosling’s jeans. Yup, that’s what that is. Ryan took a break from charming the lens off of cameras with his maple syrup smoothness to sit on the front porch and bottle feed a baby friend while making eyes that say, “Hit Ctl + Alt + Pinch all you want, but this isn’t a dream.”

Meanwhile, that baby doesn’t know whether to keep guzzling down the bottle leche or to laugh at the fact that Draco Malfoy is now a hipster house painter in Upstate New York. How the Death Eaters have fallen!

Here’s more of Ryan Malfoy on the set of The Place Behind The Pines with a baby actor and Eva Mendes (who is obviously bringing the constipated ugliness to try to win an Oscar) yesterday. You probably didn’t read a word of that since you were too distracted by your womb sitting on your shoulder while whispering “Get me that” into your ear over and over again. Your womb is so fucking tacky!