The answer isn’t: Lady Caca as Patti LuPone
The answer isn’t: Patti LuPone as Lady Caca
The answer definitely isn’t: Xtina (Xtina wishes!)
The answer is…..
JANE FUCKING WIEDLIN from The Go Go’s!
I haven’t been keeping my Google Alert’s eyes on the ever-changing image of Jane Wiedlin, but when and how did this happen? When did Jane transform herself into the glamorous owner of a family-style Italian restaurant in The Valley who sings a Marilyn Monroe song on top of a tiny fake piano that doubles as the dessert cart to anybody who says it’s their birthday?
This is frying my mind as much as peroxide has fried her hairline. No, of course peroxide didn’t deep fry Jane’s hairline. The piping hot beauty wafting off of her exquisite eyebrow situation singed her hairline until it turned into the consistency of French’s onion strings. Oh, I don’t know how to deal with the fact that in this day and age Jane Wiedlin no longer looks like she spits out pixie dust from her ass.
Here’s The Go-Go’s getting their star on The Hollywood Walk of Fame today. Afterward, Jane changed into a white dress and performed scenes from The Seven Year Itch for tourists in front of Grauman’s Chinese Theater.