Is That Jeremy Irons' Hand On Your Ass? Oh, He's Just Being Friendly!
If you're a woman who should ever find Jeremy Irons' hand cupping your nalgas without a verbal permission slip, there's no need to reenact everyone's favorite sexual harassment PSA by telling him that you don't have to take it! Jeremy is just being friendly. Jeremy doesn't believe in tooth bleach and he also doesn't believe that an ass pat is worth getting the law involved.
Jeremy told Britain's Radio Times (via CM) that he thinks women nowadays are way too quick to scream ADULT MOLESTATION when a man gently patty cakes them on the ass cheek. Jeremy blames political correctness.
"It's gone too far. There are too many people in power with too little to do, so they churn out laws to justify their jobs.
I hope it's a rash that will wear itself out. If a man puts his hand on a woman's bottom, any woman worth her salt can deal with it. It's communication. Can't we be friendly?"
Jeremy is completely right and it doesn't make him an old skeeze geezer pervert for saying so. Men were given hands to shake the hands of other men during business deals and to fix cars or some shit. Women were given hands to cook meals, change diapers and work a stripper pole. Women folk can't say "hi" with their hands, because they should have their hands full of pie dough, babies and stripper poles! So a man has no choice but to say "hi" by shaking a lady's ass cheek. This is from the natural laws of DUH!
And a lady can obviously return the "hi" by kneeing Jeremy. I would say "by macing him," but again, you should have BABIES!!!! in your hands, not mace!
And I don't know why I'm acting like women are actually reading this. They should be too busy getting ready for TUBE TOP TUESDAYS at the office. (Serious note: I really wish Dlisted's offices had TUBE TOP TUESDAYS.)
• 
I still want to bang him.
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"The world is a pretty nice place if you're happy"
John Garfield
No one lives forever
Myabe it's just this creepy picture, but Jeremy reminds me of old Roman from Big Love...
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Riding shotgun with the Thought Police... What you say may be used against you.
"We used to also vote for Hot Slut of the Year. :("
I was just thinking about the demise of Hot Slut of the Month/Hot Slut of the Year the other day. Agreed :(
I used to love Jeremy Irons namely because I'm shallow and he was insanely sexy when he was younger. Now *lady boner wilts*? Not so much. Oh the power of words!
"* "One of the most wonderful, erotic, sensual books ever written" - Sting on INTERVIEW WITH THE VAMPIRE. *"
I'm sorry but as a lit professor (former, almost whatever the fuck that cunt was in his life prior to his making it a point to piss me off just by existing) should be beaten with a 12 inch dildo for naming "Interview With a Vampire' as the most erotic book ever written. It's not like he wouldn't have been exposed to copious amounts of literature in his former life. God. Another fucking reason to hate Sting. HATE!
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If love had a dick I would eff with it. But it doesn't (it has a no crotch like Barbie).
I'd like to give Jeremy a big, cheery, taser-to-the-dick "hello". :)
Submitted by vidz on Tue, 08/09/2011 - 11:18am.
@CCC
Oh, my. I wish I had a picture of Father Shaji to show you guys. He was so funny and engaging and down to earth too. Sigh. I'm totally going to become Baby Kochamma ( from The god of Small Things, another of my favourites)
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I've been reading that. Baby Kochamma isn't very likeable, though. And god, I hate that name.
And yeah, Jeremy Irons was attractive once, but eh... now he's a wrinkly pompous old man with yellow teeth, one who's apparently entitled to touching your ass. If you look him up on Google images, there are as many bad pictures as good ones. No thanks.
I don't like "Damage." I really never understood the great appeal of Juliette Binoche. She seems boring to me.
One time when I was drunk with my boyfriend (at the time), we were being seated in a VERY crowded restaurant/ bar. The bar was PACKED and we had to walk through it to get to our table. Well, I was walking before my man and just to be funny (to me and no one else), I pinched this girl's ass at the bar just as I passed her and just before my man passed her so it TOTALLY looked like HE pinched her ass. AHAHAHAHAHA! Hilarity was supposed to ensue (in my drunken twenty-something year old mind), but nothing happened. Bitch was soooo shocked she couldn't react in time...Now this was some time ago...so I don't know what my poor bastid boyfriend would endure now as a result of my hoodrat stuff, but I know one thing...I AIN'T GOIN' DOWN FOR NO ASSAULT CHARGE...
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Check out Nabokov's memoir, too.
Fuck you, Jeremy Irons, you withered, tobacco-stained tooth aesthete.
MK, you got it right, old boy. Your post was hilarious.
Bring back Tube Top Tuesdays only if we have Baggy Jeans w/Rainbow-Coloured Suspenders Fridays. (Toss in Leg Warmers Wednesdays, too.)
CCC: NO one I know IRL has read "Ada". I LOOOOOOVE that book. Love it. I've been re-reading it for years. It's so... rich. I've worked my way through most of Nabokov's work, but "Ada" is my favorite. (So much perviness in it!)
*sigh*
he's kind of right - you dare to touch me you go home with my fist in your face.
Any time I've ever been groped, I've been too stunned to react with the knee to the groin I wish I'd given. Of course, now that I'm old enough to be that brave, I don't get groped (except by Mr. Hekki, that good sport).
One time, I had been out to dinner with a friend and her fiance. We were all saying our goodbyes and when we were doing that half-embrace/cheek-peck thing, he cupped my ass. I was so damn shocked I played it like nothing happened. I didn't tell her.
Their marriage lasted approximately two years.
cowjam & sushi -- though I don't agree with what he said, Jeremy can touch anything he wants to on my body. I'd hit it over & over & over again. My favorite movies of his are "Damage," "Lolita" and "Reversal of Fortune." He even made creepy old Claus von Bulow kind of hot.
Ewww, groody motherfucker.. someone needs to get their head beat.
what an asshat
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"Let them measure my anus and see if it is dilated."
Jeremy Irons can touch my butt (and my daughter's) any time he wants. He is so hot that we will watch his boring movies just to drool over him. The only films that he has made that I like were "Die Hard 3" and, of course, "Reversal of Fortune".
I am so glad he is sexing it up in "The Borgias". Getting old but still so delicious. Yum.
Submitted by WTFOMGLOL on Tue, 08/09/2011 - 1:16pm
ANYONE touches my ass, in line, (back off, idiot! HELLO !! personal space ???); hugging hello, anwhere, without implied consent, (and you know if you have it, or you don't) is pulling back a bloody fucking stump. WTF. hands off.
that's a real hot button with me. do not like strangers touching me. that's reserved for a very few close friends. and they know who they are.
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THIS!!!!^^^
I can not stand anyone touching me, even my friends. It makes my skin crawl every time I have to give someone a hug when I meet them- specially if they hug me without a warning. That's just not acceptable. And those air kisses? The worst nightmare ever.
*staggers into thread reeling from sleep deprivation*
Jeremy Irons is immensely gifted-he will always be the one and only Charles Ryder-but what he said is completely inappropriate. He might have meant it. He might not have,and intended to shock. Which is worse?
Re: Lolita. An excellent work of literature, with one of Nabokov's beloved unreliable narrators.( Speak,Memory is also good.) At the age of 12, I started working my way through a list of books which had been banned at one point or another. Lolita was on that list-and it had a big impact on my life.
You know the type of over 18 year old guy that tries to date/fuck underaged girls? Thanks to that early exposure to Nabokov,men like that were all Humberts to me, and therefore to be avoided. Sometimes I wonder if fewer girls would be charmed into exploitative relationships if they knew what Lolita was really about. Her proper name, Dolores, means 'suffering or pain'.
Ann Rice's Sleeping Beauty trilogy is a different case. I like porn/erotica, even Henry Miller...but something about Rice's twisted tale disturbed me to the point of having nightmares. Never got past the first book.
The "Hot Priest" discussions made this refugee from the Catholic school gulag remember Father What-A-Waste and Father Macho. Every parish has one.Oh, and ex-altar boys tend to have dirty minds and a talent for oral sex.Anglican,RC,Eastern Orthodox,bent,straight-take your pick.
Incense is an aphrodisiac.
Submitted by Danistar :I also miss Hot Slut of the Year...I guess no one (or thing) will ever replace Spaghetti Cat or whoever the last winner was in MK's heart.
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I'm pretty sure that was Stains, the dog who could be hypnotized by a tray of cupcakes. I'm pretty sure nothing could ever top that! :-)
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"You're ugly and your fucking bag is ugly too."--John Galliano (allegedly)
He could grab my ass, my tits, anything. Jeremy Fucking Irons!
No guy gets to touch my ass w/o permission! Gilles Marini and Alan Rickman get a pass though (unintentional pun!) :-D
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"You're ugly and your fucking bag is ugly too."--John Galliano (allegedly)
WTFOMGLOL -- OMG, I can't stand people touching me! If I don't know you, get the fuck away from me. No offense to our foreign friends, but I find foreign people seem to have no sense of personal space. If, however, you are on my list of "men I want to do," feel free to touch; just let me powder my nose & freshen up a bit first, LOL!
Submitted by shandi on Tue, 08/09/2011 - 10:00am.
If it's your wife or girlfriend, it's communication. If it's a co-worker, it's inappropriate, dude.
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ANYONE touches my ass, in line, (back off, idiot! HELLO !! personal space ???); hugging hello, anwhere, without implied consent, (and you know if you have it, or you don't) is pulling back a bloody fucking stump. WTF. hands off.
that's a real hot button with me. do not like strangers touching me. that's reserved for a very few close friends. and they know who they are.
What a fucking douchey thing to say;
however, YOU can put your hand on my ass any day, Jeremy.
Submitted by Sarah Smile on Tue, 08/09/2011 - 1:00pm.
Lolita ~ Dolores
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The proper name for Lolita is Dolores?
Submitted by christine the hoff on Tue, 08/09/2011 - 12:40pm.
that movie where he plays twins who fuck each other?????
"shudder'
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I F*CKING KNOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
*scrubs eyesball to the socket bone*
"The novel is told from the POV of a completely unreliable narrator, yet readers actually believe Humbert Humbert when he says a 12 year old girl seduces him! and Hollywood, of course, supports that interpretation of events. The name "Lolita" is now synonymous in general society with a sexually precocious prepubescent girl, as if she actually exists outside of a pedophile's fantasy."
Well-put. The damn book opens with "in my arms, she was always Lolita." He gives her the frigging nickname, for God's sake.
I must give serious side-eye, though, to those who name their daughters Lolita (in large part because of the creep factor, in smaller part because the proper name is Dolores, damn it!).
Sarah Smile
that movie where he plays twins who fuck each other?????
"shudder'
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Oh God ,why don't you go sit under a rainbow and write a poem, Kyle.
Submitted by angel_i on Tue, 08/09/2011 - 12:21pm.
http://www.amazon.com/Claiming-Sleeping-Beauty-N-Roquelaure/dp/045228142...
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...
One more time and I'm dropping everything to go get it.
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It's the only thing of course that I DID read and I usually have a high tolerance for the erotic raunch but this shit was ...
(rocks back and forth in office corner with closest thing to my Bible ~ ATLAS OF THE WORLD ~ and prays for AJAX and a scrub brush)
(apologizes to angel_i if this makes her drop her shit)
Submitted by Oxygen on Tue, 08/09/2011 - 11:55am.
@UBF and @vidz
http://www.amazon.com/Claiming-Sleeping-Beauty-N-Roquelaure/dp/045228142...
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So bizarre. You are the second person in as many days to mention that (well, not "to me", but it's weird that I saw it). And it's the ONLY thing of hers I've never read. One more time and I'm dropping everything to go get it.
♥ Threadkilla!
Suck My Dick: http://youtu.be/Mxap2jnfF-E
oh yeah m.e. hot slut of the year...i loved that.
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Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sat, 06/11/2011 - 9:32am.
It's ok to be a redneck by the way.. just don't yell git 'er done because we all hate that.
Submitted by M.E. on Tue, 08/09/2011 - 12:00pm.
EC - MK used to have a "Morning Wood" thread every day (it was like Afternoon Crumbs, several links)
Me thinks it's been put on the shelf due to lack of hoodrat shit from celebrities, but I could be wrong.
We used to also vote for Hot Slut of the Year. :(
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Right? Abandoned Couch!! *sniff*
I think he just rolls what he would have put into Morning Wood into Afternoon Crumbs. Sucks that someone ripped his title and idea off, though, even though he doesn't do it anymore.
~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~
@M.E.; YES! I remember Morning Wood! That was back when I was merely a reader and not a rambling commenter. I also miss Hot Slut of the Year...I guess no one (or thing) will ever replace Spaghetti Cat or whoever the last winner was in MK's heart.
"I make myself sick, get on my own nerves. Immature, insecure grown up nerd."
-Fatlip (The Pharcyde)
I am sincerely glad that I took a break from scheduling in "Wear Your Weenie Out Wednesday" at my office tomorrow to read this post. I'm wondering who Jeremy Irons considers his "friends" anyways...
www.hangryhippo.com: Where hunger, anger, media consumption, and satire meet for a snack
EC - MK used to have a "Morning Wood" thread every day (it was like Afternoon Crumbs, several links)
Me thinks it's been put on the shelf due to lack of hoodrat shit from celebrities, but I could be wrong.
We used to also vote for Hot Slut of the Year. :(
dirty old perv is a dirty old perv.
but ok i'll bite, when i meet him and shove my 12 inch dildo up his ass and he starts bitchin' i'll be like "jeremy, its just how i say HELLOOOOOOOOO!"
@UBF and @vidz
http://www.amazon.com/Claiming-Sleeping-Beauty-N-Roquelaure/dp/045228142...
Review
* "One of the most wonderful, erotic, sensual books ever written" - Sting on INTERVIEW WITH THE VAMPIRE. *"a literary odyssey into a world of forbidden lust...the same kind of skillful writing that brought respectability into the works of Henry Miller, Anais Nin and D.H. Lawrence" - UPI
Submitted by heathen on Tue, 08/09/2011 - 11:36am.
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Ah, the great and often misconstrued powers of literature.
I'll love it in twenty years when the new generations ask what happened to all the vampires.
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Don't make me quote Nabokov at you. I'll do it. I promise.
Under the Global Accords for the Fair Use of Women, all women's asses exist solely for men to put their skeevy, pervy hands on at will. So you go Jeremy! Silly women acting like they own their own bodies. /snark
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The problem I have with Lolita is how misunderstood it is. The novel is told from the POV of a completely unreliable narrator, yet readers actually believe Humbert Humbert when he says a 12 year old girl seduces him! and Hollywood, of course, supports that interpretation of events. The name "Lolita" is now synonymous in general society with a sexually precocious prepubescent girl, as if she actually exists outside of a pedophile's fantasy. Hell, society is actually teaching little girls that they should be "Lolitas."
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"And 9/11 ain't nothing compared to what's happening on the buffet line at Sizzler." MK
Submitted by Oxygen on Tue, 08/09/2011 - 11:28am.
Submitted by vidz on Tue, 08/09/2011 - 11:01am.
@cake coke and cock
ETA: Lolita is one of my favorite books. My BFF however was so skeeved out, she couldn't finish it.
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That'd be Anne Rice's Sleeping Beauty trilogy for me. Several times I had to put it down and pick up a Bible for atonement.
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Really?? I`ll have to check that out. LOVED "Cry to Heaven" by Anne Rice.
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"I also have felt the nose heat of the man meat."
SFRB, 04/26/11
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http://www.youtube.com/user/beeper246#p/a/u/2/BrO86m4qAEs
@Oxygen
Oh, the claiming of sleeping beauty etc? One of my best friends borrowed the only copy of the trilogy from the PUBLIC LIBRARY. She passed it around uni and nobody could believe the library carried erotica ( Our libraries are very PG). Unfortunately, she's lost them. I've been trying to get my hands them for some time.
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"Never ascribe to malice that which can adequately be explained by incompetence."
- Napoleon Bonaparte (1769-1821)
I must say - I'm thrilled that other posters found this as creepy as I did.
Sarah Smile
LOL! MK - you the funniest feminist ever!
♥ Threadkilla!
Suck My Dick: http://youtu.be/Mxap2jnfF-E
@EC
I seem to remember morning wood, tho he's since altered it to pantycreamer of the day, I think.
@ME
Franks for clearing that up for me, the kid was home so I had to keep clicking off that episode, too deep for offspring in da house.
Submitted by vidz on Tue, 08/09/2011 - 11:01am.
@cake coke and cock
ETA: Lolita is one of my favorite books. My BFF however was so skeeved out, she couldn't finish it.
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That'd be Anne Rice's Sleeping Beauty trilogy for me. Several times I had to put it down and pick up a Bible for atonement.
Submitted by Stoney on Tue, 08/09/2011 - 11:25am.
lol, perky.
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"I have no snacks for you, only death." ~ annobanano, 08/03/2011
ummm why doesn't Dlisted have private messages? Come on MK. Life is short.
Jack, for the sake of the ladies, I hope that's the only thing that hasn't, aham, *changed*.
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Don't make me quote Nabokov at you. I'll do it. I promise.
I had a Catholic brother teaching religion in high school. He had dark brown/slightly auburn hair, a blonde mustache, and a bright red beard. The boys in the class always joked about what color his pubes might be. Blrrrrggghhh.
What's wrong with cat urine?
Jacko, you just proposed to cakey and you expect a tube top pic out of me? Whatever, dude. If you want it that bad you can search through your hard drive because I know you saved it, stalky.
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"Let s/he who is without sin, cast the first Stoney."
I suspect Mr. Irons has a forked... tongue.
I have been dealt a deck o' priests in my life; alas, only one was do-able by my stringent standards.
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"okayyy lets not make a goddess out of Maria Shiver now. It's from her bitch face that she is a cunt." - cuntwhore (2011-08-08)