During his set at England’s Big Chill Festival on Saturday night, Kanye West turned the crazy up when he opened his mouth and left out a river of diarrhea and insanity chunks by saying people look at him like he’s got a tiny evil stache above his mouth and is responsible for the murder of millions. Well, Gay Fish’s signature Stuart Smalley rants are responsible for the death of millions of brain cells, so maybe the Queen of the CAPS LOCK is on to something. Like the opening paragraph of Mein Kunt, Kanye mouth queefed this solid gold ridiculousness:
“I walk through the hotel and I walk down the street, and people look at me like I’m fucking insane, like I’m Hitler. One day the light will shine through and one day people will understand everything I ever did.”
And then Gay Fish continued to prove that South Park is producing his life when he crowned himself the Michael Jordan of music.
“Michael Jordan changed so much in basketball, he took his power to make a difference. It’s so much fucking going on in music right now and somebody has to make a fucking difference.”
Historians should take note, because this might be the first time in history when both Michael Jordan and Hitler made “.…the fuck is that douche’s ego on?” faces of non-amusement at the exact same time.
Kanye is right, though. He really is a lyrical mastermind genius that produces beats that sound like unicorns humping the heavenly clouds and the day we all finally realize he’s Jesus in a douche bottle is the day that the light on the miner caps of the Four Horsemen will blind us all before dragging us down to Hell thus ending the world (the two obviously go hand in hand). But Kanye didn’t need to strain his precious vocal cords of greatness by screaming that rant out. Kanye could’ve gotten the same point across just by jacking his dick while fucking his ass with a Lexapro bottle. That would’ve been less offensive.