Hot Slut Of The Day!

August 8, 2011 / Posted by:

Yvonne, the runaway cow who is outsmarting and outwitting the hos in Bavaria who are trying to turn her into sausage. The elusive Yvonne, seen here seconds before she shape shifted back into Sam Merlotte and disappeared into the woods, has been on the run for over 10 months after she managed to escape from the farm of a sausage maker. The sausage maker was fattening Yvonne up for the slaughter house, but bitch knew something wasn’t right when he kept shoving huge plates of food under her mouth. Yvonne knew that she isn’t an American human named Jessica Simpson, and the farm isn’t a Hometown Buffet, so all the never-ending troughs of delicious foods were too good to be true. The jig was up!

Like White Oprah’s sanity gene, Yvonne slipped out undetected and ran to her freedom. Yvonne is now living in the woods and only grazes on grass during the night like a deer. Hunters have been trying to catch Yvonne for months, but the clever cow is too smart for them. German animal rights campaigners have joined the search for Yvonne, because the court has given the hunters permission to shoot to kill. The animal activists hope to find Yvonne before a bullet does. The activists are even trying to lure Yvonne out of the woods with the help of a calf and one of her relatives. Yvonne hasn’t fallen for their tricks, but probably because her cousin keeps letting out a “Bitch, it’s a trick!” moo.

Michael Aufhauser, an Austrian millionaire and animal activist, has offered to buy Yvonne and save her life if she’s found alive.

The hunters and the activists are wasting their time. Yvonne isn’t in the woods and she isn’t even in Bavaria. Yvonne slipped onto a boat bound for the one place she knows where cows are embraced and given reality shows and endorsement deals with Sketchers: CALIFORNIA! Yup, so when you see Kim, Khloe and Kourtney stomping down Robertson Blvd. with their new kousin Kowlina Kardashian, don’t moo one word about this. Actually, you probably won’t even notice since she’ll fit right in with those kows. No offense to Yvonne, I mean, Kowlina.

via Spiegel

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