Because Havana Nights Wasn't Bad Enough
The time has inevitably come for the shameless murderers of Hollywood to dig into your childhood and drag out Dirty Dancing to be butchered until it's nothing but a lifeless corpse covered in 3D effects and stuffed with a soundtrack by the Black Eyed Peas. Deadline is saying that Lionsgate has already given the thumbs up to the execution of Dirty Dancing and has hired the original movie's choreographer Kenny Ortega as director. Kenny is responsible for that High School Musical mess and was supposed to direct the Footloose remake but pulled out after Zac Efron pulled out. Here's the press release from Deadline that Lionsgate etched into Dirty Dancing's tombstone:
The new film is a celebration of one of the most beloved movies of all time. Paying tribute to the emotional excitement of first love, the thrills and complexity of sexual awakening, the soul stirring power of dance, and the classic tale of teenage Baby’s forbidden romance with Johnny Castle, the remake will incorporate classic songs from the 1960s, hits from the original film and brand new compositions.“Amazingly it has been almost 25 years since the original film was released, but the fans remain legion, and engaged more than ever with a brand that is special and vital to them. We believe that the timing couldn’t be better to modernize this story on the big screen, and we are proud to have Kenny Ortega at the helm.” said Drake.
Since Kenny Ortega pretty much licks up the drops of bronzer that drips off of Zac Efron's glazed hole, it goes without saying that he's going to cast the pretty pretty princess as Johnny Castle. I think I just felt Patrick Swayze pirouette in his grave. Then Kenny's going to cast Justin Bieber as Baby, Blake Lively as my favorite Penny and Demi Lovato as Lisa Houseman. NOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Will somebody please put Kenny Ortega in the corner!
I still don't know what's happening here. I see Dirty Dancing, High School Musical, Black Eyed Peas, Footloose and there's just too much anxiety involved. Whatever it is, make it stop.
♥ Threadkilla!
Suck My Dick: http://youtu.be/Mxap2jnfF-E
WHAT THE FUCK?!!!! Why don't we just go to Patrick Swayze's grave and piss all over it. It's bad enough meth-face Fergie and her cohorts made a fucktastic version of one of the best movie songs ever, now they're going to ruin another classic?
I wonder if they'll cast Natalie Portman as Baby. She's a prissy,uptight Jewish girl so she'd be perfect for the role.
You know what movies piss me off? Those Final Destination pieces of repetitive shit. How many times can you see a road way accident with people burning to death, being decapitated and having themselves disembowled before it gets old and frankly a little sick.
Yes, and I also hate remakes. Dirty Dancing was okay the first time out, but I really hate young Hollywood, so I cannot imagine watching this shit with new people in it. Swayze is probably rolling over in his grave right now.
*************************************
Submitted by El Bastardo on Mon, 07/04/2011 - 11:39am.
You're only bisexual if someone rams a bottle of water up your ass and you cum. FACT.
Fuck you Hollywood. Seriously. FUCK YOU.
┌П┐(◣_◢)┌П┐
┌П┐(◣_◢)┌П┐
┌П┐(◣_◢)┌П┐
┌П┐(◣_◢)┌П┐
┌П┐(◣_◢)┌П┐
Submitted by Picasso1 on Mon, 08/08/2011 - 7:31pm.
Why doesn't the new Hollywood have new imagination/ , all we get nowadays for movies are fricken remakes of older movies! Lack of creativity and imagination.
You're exactly right. Sad, but so true. :-(
Submitted by luvsmekitty on Mon, 08/08/2011 - 7:27pm.
25 years!? Sweet buttered baby Jesus, I'm old.
LOL! This is my new favorite "Jesus" oath!
Submitted by CholaMom on Tue, 08/09/2011 - 7:11am.
RustyHooligan and MrrKat -- the hairstyle/makeup thing really bugs me in "historical" or "era" movies. When the real thing is only 20 or 30 years old, there are no excuses because many people who used to style hair that way are STILL ALIVE!
As all things old become new again, we're seeing a bastardization of 80's style in new movies set in the 80's. Nothing new though -- I remember watching "The Wedding Singer" and wondering what era Drew Barrymore was supposed to be from... Straight hair parted down the middle in the 80's? Are you kidding me? Totally dork, dude, gag me.
Er... not that I would know about such things. :) ...
ITA, CholaMom. It boggles my mind why directors so frequently get hairstylists & makeup artists who weren't even alive in the era(s) in question. I guess you could say, "Well, it's not like they're going for authenticity." My question is, Why not? It would make it more believable for a lot of viewers. Example: My mom. Professional seamstress, 62 years old; gets clothing from 1940s-1970s completely right. Part of this is certainly because she's got loads of ancient dress patterns from those eras, but also because she was around back then. (My great-grandma wore her 1940s fashions well into the '60s.)
But, as so many other commenters have said, it'll be tons of fun snarking on the craptacular DD remake. Like, omigawd!
(Your '80s phrases are giving me flashbacks, LOL!)
Submitted by LaChaylo on Mon, 08/08/2011 - 7:33pm.
I never got the appeal - Baby was an annoying little twat, Johnny was a perv, and Time of My Life is the song you play to torture my Dirty Dancing hating ass
HELL YEA! I HATE THE DAMN MOVIE
HATE THE DAMN SONG
STOOPID CRAP
outta make a porn version
maybe i'll watch that
☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺
♦ When all else fails, they call me.
♦ Life sucks. Shit Happens. I'm a student of t-shirts.
RustyHooligan and MrrKat -- the hairstyle/makeup thing really bugs me in "historical" or "era" movies. When the real thing is only 20 or 30 years old, there are no excuses because many people who used to style hair that way are STILL ALIVE!
As all things old become new again, we're seeing a bastardization of 80's style in new movies set in the 80's. Nothing new though -- I remember watching "The Wedding Singer" and wondering what era Drew Barrymore was supposed to be from... Straight hair parted down the middle in the 80's? Are you kidding me? Totally dork, dude, gag me.
Er... not that I would know about such things. :)
******************
I AM on a drug. It's called Charlie Sheen. -- Carlos Estevez
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"-Patrick Swayze from his grave
"I make myself sick, get on my own nerves. Immature, insecure grown up nerd."
-Fatlip (The Pharcyde)
Aw, HELL to tha NO!
**********
"It's all fun and farts until somebody gets punched." -MK
Submitted by from athens on Tue, 08/09/2011 - 12:01am.
Rumer Willis as Baby,Tommygirl as Johnny and i will watch this
No one puts Taterhead in the corner. Then Xenu picks up Tommygirl and Taters in his space ship and they fly away. The end.
Oh lordy lord this remake will be all kinds of suckitude.
I was a little kid when the original came out. I used to secretly wish I could wear that dress and have Patrick Swayze twirl me around. What a little fag I was.
The movie holds a special place in my heart because I was very young when it came out and had a cousin with very strict parents who had to sneak over to my house to watch it on VHS.
We spent at least an hour rewinding and trying to pause it at THE EXACT RIGHT TIME, then zooming in on the shot where Patrick gets out of the bed to see if we could see "anything." (Ofc there was no peen.) Ah, memories! And they are going to fuck with that shit!
Bat_Boy haha
The sheer weight of Rumor's head and chin would make the above scene impossible to pull off without special effects.
Rumer Willis as Baby,Tommygirl as Johnny and i will watch this
The original was barely watchable. It was cheesy even then. I don't see how they can make it worse.
If you insist on doing remakes, than pick a shitty movie and turn it into a classic. Leave the already classics alone.
-----------------------------------------------------------
"It is unwise to be too sure of one's own wisdom. It is healthy to be reminded that the strongest might weaken and the wisest might err."
Mahatma Gandhi
"Revenge is sweet and not fattening"
-Alfred Hitchcock-
Submitted by the_shari-est on Mon, 08/08/2011 - 7:53pm.
No, fucking way. Not gonna happen. Why the fuck do you need to modernize something that was set in the sixties? Is this going to be a much flashier version of that time filled with fake tans, duck lips and Baby looking like a strung out porn star?
--------------------------------------------------
OMG. . .Hahahahahahaha ! ! !
Sooooooooo funny. duck lips. I can see it now. Hahahahaha.
Submitted by CholaMom on Mon, 08/08/2011 - 9:31pm.
hairstyles which would have never happened in the REAL 1960's and only in the 80's version of yesteryear.
Same with "Streets of Fire." (Which I also have never seen in total; I just like the music numbers.)
"Revenge is sweet and not fattening"
-Alfred Hitchcock-
Ahhhhhhh. . . the fond memories of ripping on this movie. Not out of malice or hate. Hey, I was a youngster when this movie came out. I will never forget Kim Drake's birthday party when a portion of the festivities were devoted to viewing this movie. The party was boys and girls. All the boys started ripping on it even before the opening credits rolled. Of course the girls kicked us out till the movie was over. Luckily, there was a school directly across the street where we could amuse ourselves. Good times.
I love movies with botched abortions in them.
Submitted by CholaMom on Mon, 08/08/2011 - 9:31pm.
Leave Dirty Dancing ALONE! Leave it AH-LOOOOOONE!
MIss Jane Texas and MrrCat -- I too loved Dirty Dancing. It was a perfect product of it's late-80's time, soundtrack and all. And if you don't believe me, check the hairstyles which would have never happened in the REAL 1960's and only in the 80's version of yesteryear.
YES! LOLOLOLOOOOOL @ "the 80's version of yesteryear!" HAHAHHAHAAAA!!! You're exactly right about DD as a time capsule of how late-80s America saw 1960s America. I seem to recall my mom (who graduated from high school in 1967) saying as we watched the movie for the umpteenth time, "We didn't have hairstyles like ______'s in the '60s." (Full disclosure: I must also profess my looooove for 1940s-1960s fashion. The movie's costumes are great.)
Didn't MK post a couple months back about the old VH1 "Make Your Own Video for Madonna's 'True Blue'" Contest? I'd forgotten ALL about that thing until I viewed the winning entry. Someone (sorry, can't remember which DLister) commented that it was weird to look back at these products of the 1980s and see how they romanticized the (super-repressive) 1950s.
But the DD soundtrack...ohh, the wonderful old songs on there. I can still shake my butt all night long to "Do You Love Me?" and "Stay" and "Big Girls Don't Cry."
[dances to DD on iTunes]
Submitted by MissJaneTexas on Mon, 08/08/2011 - 9:17pm. ...
Oh, that's right! There were two soundtracks: the original and then More Dirty Dancing (or something like that) with a bunch more '60s dance/R&B/pop songs.
Indeed, good times. :-P
Leave Dirty Dancing ALONE! Leave it AH-LOOOOOONE!
MIss Jane Texas and MrrCat -- I too loved Dirty Dancing. It was a perfect product of it's late-80's time, soundtrack and all. And if you don't believe me, check the hairstyles which would have never happened in the REAL 1960's and only in the 80's version of yesteryear. Still, I loved it. Must have seen it a million times. It hasn't aged well, but then, few 80's movies have. Doesn't mean I can't enjoy it anyway every time it's on TV though. :D
Still, since I liked the original, I'm not looking forward to ANY remake of DD. BUT... if they do go ahead with it, I'd love to see the hair and makeup team from Mad Men have a crack at some real period looks.
******************
I AM on a drug. It's called Charlie Sheen. -- Carlos Estevez
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Nobody can take Patrick Swayzee's place. I loved that movie and they are going to fuck it up big time.
Submitted by precociousmagpie on Mon, 08/08/2011 - 7:01pm.
I never saw the original (and yet I feel as though I did, through the magic of pop culture)
Zackly. I thought that dead blind guy, who played the guitar on his lap, was in the house band, but I guess I'm mistaken.*
I did once go to a birthday party in the all-blond-wood house in Sherman Oaks that Swayze owned--but after he'd sold it.
* Jeff Healey in Road House, it seems.
... and Lea Michele as "Baby" in 3... 2... 1...
eeech.
******************
I AM on a drug. It's called Charlie Sheen. -- Carlos Estevez
Confused here *off a bottleof vino,so that may have effect*. So, is someone trying to do a remake of Dirty Dancing?
*splashes face with cold water*
_____
"too bad ... we want money...want...money..."
- Doug and Courtney, subroutine-cyberspeak of love
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
They might as well use Jennifer Grey--she's not recognizable anyway.
Submitted by MrrKat on Mon, 08/08/2011 - 9:12pm.
Oh god, I LOVE that story! HAHAHAHAHA. My cousin and I used to make up dances on the dock of our country lake house. Wasn't there 2 soundtracks? They had 1 and then it was so popular they came out with another? Good times.
**************************************************************
You really have to side clap and pucker for a piece who can stand next to a white feather and out-gay it. - MK 8/3/2011
Submitted by LaChaylo on Mon, 08/08/2011 - 9:08pm.
;) Fair enough. Go Mavs! :)
**************************************************************
You really have to side clap and pucker for a piece who can stand next to a white feather and out-gay it. - MK 8/3/2011
Submitted by MissJaneTexas on Mon, 08/08/2011 - 9:03pm.
Apparently, I am alone here but I LOVED this movie. I still think this movie has one of the sexiest sex scenes ever. Patrick Swayze was the sex.
No, you're not alone. :-) I saw the movie a dozen times, and wore out the cassette tape of the soundtrack on my glossy red Sony mini-boombox. :-P
The movie came out when my sister and I were living with our grandmother waaaay out in the country, and a 90-minute bus ride one way to school was normal. When our route/bus driver got a new bus in 1988, it featured (gasp!) a TAPE DECK, and dear Miss Beverly put up with over a year of drowsy little kids, nearly silent during the morning bus rides, ALL coming to life at once in unison to shout/sing, "I've haaaaaad...the time of my liiiiiife..." And ALL in heavy Southern-accented little kid voices.
Submitted by mike on Mon, 08/08/2011 - 7:13pm.
Submitted by precociousmagpie on Mon, 08/08/2011 - 7:01pm.
I never saw the original (and yet I feel as though I did, through the magic of pop culture), so maybe I'm being unfair, but why remake something that should not have been made? Let's all refart while we're at it.
Me either. I mostly remember that cheesy theme song.
-----
LOL. I've never seen it either. So much for a "brand". And I always hated that song.
----
"Sal, darling, you are the reason some women go gay. ♥" - Submitted by Dog on Fri, 07/09/2010 - 6:32pm.
"life is precious, you must not have watched The Lion King, you heartless fuck"
Apparently, I am alone here but I LOVED this movie. I still think this movie has one of the sexiest sex scenes ever. Patrick Swayze was the sex. ha.
@ Hekki - no the blonde chick was his best friend. :)
**************************************************************
You really have to side clap and pucker for a piece who can stand next to a white feather and out-gay it. - MK 8/3/2011
Submitted by LaChaylo on Mon, 08/08/2011 - 9:00pm.
WTF, the night I decide to post actively, I get triple posted.
"""""""""""""""""""
Ya got an itchy trigger finger from that backlog of posts! :)
WTF, the night I decide to post actively, I get triple posted.
Submitted by Hekki on Mon, 08/08/2011 - 7:49pm.
Johnny totally gave off the gigolo vibe! You're right - the plot was ridiculous to the point of farce. I wish she'd have knocked him down during the big dance move.
@ MissJaneTexas
I love you because you're a fellow Mavs fan (GO MAVS!) so I won't hold you loving this movie against you. ;-)
Submitted by Bjork You on Mon, 08/08/2011 - 7:57pm.
Bjorkie, I loved "Heartbreaker." Vanessa grew on me after watching that, heroin-thin gapped-toothed, doe-eyed charmer she is.
Submitted by ern on Mon, 08/08/2011 - 7:37pm.
...How is a movie a brand? Why is everything a "brand" that we have to "engage with" now?
YES! Exactly! When this movie came out, nobody was talking in the affected marketing-social media-crapspeak that's so popular today. All this "engaging with" stupid crap that's not even a "brand" removes all the gooshy human feeling or enjoyment (or good-natured cheesiness, in DD's case) from any and all movies, shows, relationships, interactions, etc., reducing it/them to so many dollars in fat cats' pockets. Next thing you know, we'll all be "tasked" to "leverage" the "consumer units" who "engage with" all these "brands."
Sorry. I just hate fake words like the "proud to have Kenny at the helm" spokesdouche is using here.
[steps down from soapbox]
Anyone think that it doesn't seem like 25 years since Dirty Dancing came out? Seems just TOO SOON to remake it!
"When I'm good I'm very good but when I'm bad I'm better." ~Mae West
I think they should remake Troll 2. That movie is Oscar-material. *snerk*
Vita on Mon, 08/08/2011 - 8:02pm.
BRAVO! Standing O-FACE!
'tanks! =0)
Was it cheesy? Yes. Was the only reason to watch because Patrick Swayze's hip swivels were as mesmerizing as one of BeYAWNce's mystical weaves? Of course. Was the acting thinner than the plot itself? Si papi! Is it still is one of best worst movies of all times? Damn right. And as if Dirty Dancing:Havana Nights was not enough fuckery for you than I just don't know what else Lionsgate thinks is.
And I loved the soundtrack including the Ubiquitous Hit Turned Sandals' jingle Theme Song. The fact that an obvious eighties song time warped back to the sixties was just incorporating "Back to the Futuresque" themes that were popular back then. LOL
Dirty Dancing is a classic. It should never...EVER be remade. I don't care if there is an accidental leak of behind the scenes footage of Ms. Kennylasia Ortega and Zachina Efron sucking the jaws of life off of each other's balls, there is NO excuse for messing with this classic.
The same goes for Footloose!
I saw this sweet French film, "Heartbreaker," starring Vanessa Gappy Paradis and Romain Wolfman Duris. Paradis's character loved "Dirty Dancing," and the two had a moment doing the dance scene. It worked. Just thought I'd mention it and to also encourage folks to check out "Heartbreaker."
The only good thing to write about this possible remake is that it will employ many people.
What, they couldn't make another Step Up?
------------------------------------------------
"I'd rather regret the things I've done than regret the things I haven't done." -Lucille Ball-sy
No, fucking way. Not gonna happen. Why the fuck do you need to modernize something that was set in the sixties? Is this going to be a much flashier version of that time filled with fake tans, duck lips and Baby looking like a strung out porn star? Oh shit...Lilo is going to be all over this!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Peachy with a side of keen, that would be me"
Submitted by LaChaylo: "I never got the appeal - Baby was an annoying little twat, Johnny was a perv, and Time of My Life is the song you play to torture my Dirty Dancing hating ass."
LOL. I thought Baby was an annoying little twat, too! And I never got that they were supposed to have some sweet first love (on her part) romance. Wasn't the prego blonde chick his woman? (When he wasn't banging rich good-smelling cougars, that is?)
I only saw that shit once, but those were the questions I had.
Never seen this shit, never seen Footloose. They need to stop remaking movies that I don't even care enough to watch in the first place.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Douchechill!