Looking like a geriatric orangutan dipped in teriyaki sauce and dehydrated under a heat lamp, Arnold Schwarzenegger went biking in California on Sunday and threw a little Austrian shade at Maria Shriver by wearing an “I Survived Maria” t-shirt. TMZ says that the shirts were made by Maria’s office as a farewell joke when the Governator left office in 2007. Some ho (aka the latest maid while Arnold I’ll be backdoored her on the kitchen island) used a Sharpie to cross out 2007 and write in “1997,” which was the year that Maria started riding on that strudel muscle bag.
Apparently, Maria and Arnold have been playing nice during their divorce settlement negotiations and they talk every day, but wearing this shirt is still a mess. Arnold is just a pile of wet dumb. Not because he got caught barebacking a baby out of the maid and shouldn’t kick at Maria while she’s down. That’s not why. You know I’m a disciple of cunt shade.
Arnold is as dumb as tumah skin for wearing that shirt, because he’s still in the middle of divorce negotiations and he’s already bragging like he’s sashayed away without a dime missing from his wallet. Arnold hasn’t survived shit yet. Just for that, I hope Maria takes everything including that shirt. Then I hope she cuts that shirt into a pussy pastie and crosses out the word “Maria” and writes “AHHHHHHNALD.” Or “Tumaaaaah.” They basically mean the same thing.