No, Really, Do You Need A Moment?
Poor carriage horses in Central Park already have a shit deal since they are forced to pull around tourists all day and only get paid in stale hay and forced air kisses. But now they have it even worse, because they have to deal with tourists melting into a puddle of melodrama when they trip and fall onto the ground.
A tourist took the above video of her giving birth to a full-fledged panic attack after the horse pulling the carriage she was riding in got spooked for a minute and then fell. Homegirl's mind jumped out of her head and she ran from that horse faster than Fishsticks Paltrow runs away from non-organic wine. I haven't seen a horse make a "....the fuck is wrong with you?" face like that since the almost trampling of Tish Cyrus. Where is a feed bag full of Valium and an escort to the glue factory when you really need 'em? (For the lady, not the horse.)
Consumerist says that during the RUN FOR YOUR LIVES freakout, the lady left her purse in the carriage. When she went back to get it, she was shocked, appalled and all of the above after realizing that the driver was about to take the horse back out to pick up more passengers. The lady cursed out the driver in the NSFW-ish video below.
A rep for the Horse and Carriage Driver's Association called the lady "crazy" and said that they checked out the horse after the fall and made sure the horse was fine.
It's times like this that I can't help but not be mad at who ever created horses. Yes, they gave horses the ability to kick a ho, but couldn't they also give them the ability to gently double slap a ho in the face. Because everybody involved needs a hoof to the cheek.
via The Daily What