It’s been much too long since your genital skin has rippled over and the health department hit the special red button marked “Code: Rose” over the sight of the exquisitely perfect Jodie Marsh sashaying back out in the public. Just like all good warts who won’t be ignored, Jodie is back and stronger than ever. The original Kate Middleton, who can serve up a plate of bangers and mash just by queefing over a silver platter, made mortals drop to their knees and worship at the throne of STDs when she passed through ITV studios in London today.
Jodie who usually drapes her body in the finest fashions straight from the catwalks in Paris (by way of stripper stores in Thailand) decided to keep it demure in a way-too simple dress that’s the exact color of the pus that squirts out of one’s eye when they stare into her Bermuda crotch triangle. Jodie has gone from ladies who munch for a quid to ladies who lunch and then munch for a quid.
Just like Jodie’s coin slot nose, I am completely collapsing with happiness over England’s most elegant flower finally blooming again. Pippa Middleton can stay in her stable indefinitely, because the real beauty and fashion icon of the UK is back!