Open Post: Hosted By Taylor Swift's Cover Of Eminem's "Lose Yourself"

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Atomic - I'm certainly no psych or relationship expert but one of the best tips I've ever heard is that men express anxiety and fear through anger and isolation (we reach out to each other, cry and over-eat). He's probably scared to death over what's happening to you and pissed because he can't do anything to fix it. But at this point, IMHO you need to go to the hospital and find out what's going on with you first, and work on getting yourself healthy. After that, together you and the hubs can work on what's happening as a couple.

I hope you're feeling better soon, and please keep us up-to-date after you've had your tests.

((((HUGS)))))

ETA - glad you liked the candle quote, it touched me too.
__________________________________
And pharmaceuticals were invented for me and Liza Minelli. ©2011 BjorkYou.

I haz a San Francisco question.

Anyone in here from there?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
www.charitywater.org

www.animalrescuesite.com

www.modestneeds.org

@Rusty

Hi there, Rusty! Trust me when I say that AtomicCity is the real thing. Of course, I have no real evidence to back my statement up, it's just a feeling that I have. And no, she is not a frequent commenter. As for her seeking advice: sometimes it's easier to talk to strangers, because they look at your situation with fresh eyes (I just had a couple of Dutch gins (40 percent), so I can only hope that my scriblings make sense).

---------------------------------------------------------

"It is unwise to be too sure of one's own wisdom. It is healthy to be reminded that the strongest might weaken and the wisest might err."

Mahatma Gandhi

I couldn't stand her before but...now I have a new found respect for her.
___________________
I hate to admit it.

Dear AtomicCity,

Your 'mystery disease' is indeed troubling and *DO* seek medical attention ASAP.

Now...let me preach a little about 'mysterious bad health issues'...(humor me)...

Your condition sounds like the result of a HUGE overdose of STRESS and sudden life changes that have been heaped upon you all-at-once.

Stress can eff your health up worse than any fatty burger joint with extra fries.

Since you are open to advice...

Here's my prescription (until you get a diagnosis)...

Calm breathing techniques

I used to be so stressed out that I had constant anxiety attacks where I thought I was going to die and I couldn't hardly breath and my heart would pound so hard in my chest I thought for sure I was dying of a heart attack. I learned breathing techniques to calm and de-stress myself and it helped immensely.

A little TMI: When I had just turned 30 [back before computers roamed the earth] I was so stressed out that I had abnormal vaginal bleeding that went on for over a year until I learned to find my own 'zen' and then the bleeding stopped for good like some kind of freaky miracle.

Sudden loss of appetite can be another symptom of sympathetic nervous system overload [i.e. STRESS].

Meditation for 5 minutes is also very helpful. Just clear your mind...sit comfortably and focus on something that is peaceful (I like to meditate on the vision of a starry night full of twinkling stars).

Whatever you do, you NEED to eat before your internal organs start shutting down and THAT is SERIOUS. Try some honey, ginger and mint tea to help your nausea. Drinking a little dill pickle juice will help get your electrolytes back in balance (sounds gross but it works). Japanese people often eat gari (pickled ginger) for nausea and tummy troubles.

I wish I could be more helpful but that's all I got!

Please come back and share and don't mind Rusty, he's a curmudgeon to beat all curmudgeons but he is lovable underneath all of the curmudgeonly bluster. ;p

I'm terribly sorry you feel that way. Like I said, I believe everyone would benefit by speaking with an inpartial third-party. But apparently, my ramblings have led you to believe that I'm certifiable as opposed to having a partticular tough time right now.

Thank you again.

"A candle loses nothing of its light by lighting another candle."--catholicschoolgirl

Submitted by AtomicCity on Sat, 08/06/2011 - 9:01am.

You remind me of someone who should seek professional help instead of pity on a faceless blog.

Rusty, I remind you of someone? If you're implying an ALT, that couldn't be any further from the truth. I'm sorry that you feel I am a desperate attention seeker who has nothing better to do than make ALTs on an otherwise faceless website. Thought I've only been commenting for the last year or so (though 'lurking' since the blogspot days), I have been more absent than present due to the goings-on in my life. But have no fear, you have made me realize why I don't comment anymore. Go fuck yourself, Pink Panther. You'd make an AMAZING detective. Or not.
Come to think of it, you remind me of someone too. But I was brought up knowing that if I have nothing nice to say, I will say nothing at all. Other than go fuck yourself. I'm sorry, my mother never taught me proper etiquette regarding wishing someone self-fucked.

And yes, Kate, he has. His beloved father died from cancer when my hub was only 10. Since then, he's admitted that he's closed himself off from the world. I don't know if you've read any past posts right before the wedding, but his mother is very Mommy Dearest-esque. It makes perfect sense that this has all triggered a great deal of negative emotion and he's reverted. Huh, all of those years in school and Kate just made a huge breakthrough for me. *Passes honorary PhD from the University of Worthlessness to Kate*. Thank you.

"A candle loses nothing of its light by lighting another candle."--catholicschoolgirl

@atomic city

I'm so sorry to hear about your troubles. It sounds like you're going to be in good hands medically so I am thankful for that.

I'm no psychiatrist, but here are my 2 cents. You and your husband have had a lot thrown at you in a short period of time. I know you were together as a couple for a few years and friends before that, but being married is still a totally different situation. Add in medical issues and the stress of a new working situation, and you've got a recipe for trouble. Your husband, especially if he is the type who has difficulty expressing himself, may be struggling to process all of this and be pulling away as a defensive measure. In addition, some people have a hard time when people they love get sick. Did he have any kind of trauma when he was younger? Did he have a loved one die or go through a long illness?

I would, when you feel the time is right, talk to him about what you're feeling. I think this is something that can be resolved, but that it needs to be talked out between the two of you.

I hope everything works out, I'm sure it will.

Submitted by RustyHooligan on Fri, 08/05/2011 - 10:22pm.
Submitted by kate773 on Fri, 08/05/2011 - 8:29pm.

Sounds idyllic. I'm very jelly. AND you get to see the Giants beat the Pirates...

Does your wine tour include a driver? (That's the best, so you can, umm, savor the wines.) When I go to the wineries, I always realize what plonk they sell us in the supermarkets; they keep all the good stuff on-site.

One more suggestion, then I'll shut up: oysters at Hog Island and cheese at Cowgirl Creamery in the Ferry Building (in the Embarcadero, looking at the Bay Bridge). http://www.ferrybuildingmarketplace.com/

******************************

Thanks! We'll definitely check it out. I know we're going to the Ferry Building on Thursday at some point.

And yes, there is a driver. I didn't want to deal with trying to find the wineries and obviously the whole drinking and driving thing.

Thanks again! You'll all get a full report when I get back.

AtomicCity reminds me of someone...

Mickey, thank you. Your kind word made me cry (see how strong I am?). Also gigantic hugs to Angel and Fishy. I appreciate ALL of you words more than you'll ever know. Thanks so much and I'll bE back within a weeK or so.

Xoxo
_Atomic

"A candle loses nothing of its light by lighting another candle."--catholicschoolgirl

Submitted by AtomicCity on Fri, 08/05/2011 - 11:41pm.

Stay strong, Atomic, but something tells me that they don't come any stronger than you. Could that be part of your hubby's problem? A sense of overall insecurity? Because you sound so much more balanced. Anyways, sometime Wednesday, a Transatlantic shipload of happy vibes should be coming your way!

----------------------------------------------------------

"It is unwise to be too sure of one's own wisdom. It is healthy to be reminded that the strongest might weaken and the wisest might err."

Mahatma Gandhi

Thanks, Mick. And while I say that i've married my best friend of 12 years, yes we've been in a relationship for much of that. I'm unsure why i choose that wording, but I believe it has to do with so many of my girlfriends marrying a guy just because they are comfortable with them and don't feel like 'starting over', if that makes any sense.
Mr. AC and I have been a bonafide (he's bonafide) couple for the last several years. We've done all fo the major events before we were married; we bought a house together four years ago, we are both listed on our cars, etc...so we've been in for the long haul for at least several years.
I think a lot of it is that he just doesn't know how to show emotion. He never has. He is one of those who misplaces feelings when he is confronted with an uncommon situation. For example, whenever i get really sick, instead of babying me (like i'm accustomed), he is very on edge because he's a 'fixer'. He can't stand not being able to fix me and whatever ails me. During my course of treatment, I know we're going to have to talk to someone regarding how, not only is unable to fix me, but no one expects him to fix me. I need him in others ways that he can control. If he can hear it from someone else, it sure helps to get through to him.
When i talk to him, using my therapist voice and shrink lingo, he just sees me as his wacky wife.

Mickey, thank you so much for your genuine concern. I will go Wednesday for treatment and stay a few days in the hospital, but health permitting, I intend to return by Monday. I'm not penciling in any extra time needed for complications and other tomfoolery. I'm very confident in these doctors and have a feeling that I'll be doing very well within the next few months. Thanks again!!!

"A candle loses nothing of its light by lighting another candle."--catholicschoolgirl

(((HUGS)))@AtomicCity:

♥ Threadkilla!
Suck My Dick:
http://youtu.be/Mxap2jnfF-E

It's funny you mention that; "This too shall pass", has been somewhat of a mantra of mine these couple of months.
Thanks for the support. :)
And this will pass, the doctors say after treatment, I should be in really good shape for quite a while. Though they say it's not 'curable', it is at least manageable. Manage I can do.

"A candle loses nothing of its light by lighting another candle."--catholicschoolgirl

I've heard that the first year of marriage is the hardest. I don't know..... I see those rare couples who can stay together for 20, 30, 40, 50 years. How do they do it?

Submitted by AtomicCity on Fri, 08/05/2011 - 10:47pm.

Hi Atomic! So sorry to hear about your troubles. First off, during that 12 years of friendship, were the two of you in a relationship then already? If not, he could 'just' have problems adjusting to the new status of your relationship and all the responsibilities that come with it. Regardless of what's eating him, I would advise you to focus on getting better now, however hard that is. By the sound of it, you're the one putting in all the energy, and you really need that energy to get better. People always say that relationships are hard work. I think that's crap. Love should come naturally. I'm a socially extraverted HSP who's married to the silent, rational type. It's taken 20(!) years of both our lives to make it 'sustainable'. Looking back, braking up and finding ourselves a partner with whom we clicked from the onset would have been the logical thing to do. Whatever you do, Atomic, try not to waste too much precious time doing it. Good luck to you both and get well soon!

---------------------------------------------------------

"It is unwise to be too sure of one's own wisdom. It is healthy to be reminded that the strongest might weaken and the wisest might err."

Mahatma Gandhi

Submitted by AtomicCity on Fri, 08/05/2011 - 11:12pm.

Thanks you two. Believe it or not, by trade I am a clinical psychologist
******************************

Well, there you go! Not so much work at all!
It's way more complicated if you're not "in", yes?

Hang tuff, girlie. This too shall pass:)

♥ Threadkilla!
Suck My Dick:
http://youtu.be/Mxap2jnfF-E

Thanks you two. Believe it or not, by trade I am a clinical psychologist. For years, I've told pretty much everyone in which I come into contact that I sincerely believe that everyone would benefit by having an unbiased individual with whom to share thought, feelings, etc. And I still stand by that very much, I think it's just harder for me to admit that four months in and we need joint counseling. But I need to heed my advice and remind myself, "It's absolutely nothing to be ashamed of..."
But you're both absolutely correct. It's so funny to hear someone say that I would benefit from counseling, when it isn't me saying it. Thanks guys!

"A candle loses nothing of its light by lighting another candle."--catholicschoolgirl

Atomic, that just broke my heart. I think you should flat out tell your husband exactly what you need from him as you go through this. You have been sick before, and you are scared. If he doesn't follow through, at least he can't accuse you of expecting him to be a mind reader. :)

************************************************
I think about the times to come,knowin' I will be the lucky one
And ever our love will last,I always want to call you "friend"
-Kenny Loggins

@AtomicCity:

I think you're both just hella stressed out. You just got married! These are supposed to be the wonder years and all of this crap was heaped on you and it got worse until now...you should be grateful you can go to the hospital (from what I hear) for now - there's that. Whatever is wrong with you, I'm sure can be fixed with the proper care and it sounds like you're going to get just that.

A counselor is nice but almost more work...you guys have known each other a long time...do ou have a friend or a family member who's a good mediator for the two of you. Someone who knows you equally well...that you can just invite over to be around (not all the time or anything) while you get over these humps? Cuz I think that would be helpful.

I think it's ok. I mean - I'm not a doctor or anything but I don't think you should over worry either - stress is not going to help anything.

♥ Threadkilla!
Suck My Dick:
http://youtu.be/Mxap2jnfF-E

Atomic, I know fuckall about relationships, but I suggest going to couples' counseling. I'm sorry about your health problems!

So, this is a dreaded relationship question. And i'm sure I'll hear all sorts of stuff that I don't want to, but I'm kind of at my wit's end. Yesterday was my four-month wedding anniversary (break out the bubbly, i realize how ridiculous that sounds). We, by no means, rushed into things in term of getting married. In fact, he's been my best friend for over 12 years. Marrying him was literally the happiest day of my life. I've tried so hard to be the 'perfect wife.' However, a couple of things changed right about the time we married. For example, he was offered a promotion that went into effect almost at the exact same time as the wedding. That would be great, right? Not so much. He has been stressed beyond belieft everyday, and he brings it home with him. I too was offered a much, much higher advanced position with my job, and it's a federal position, so I can't really ever pass it up. Once again, that sounds great, but it means I go to work around 5AM and come home much later than he does, but I'm off on Fridays...not to mention that I make a significant amount more than he does. I know the extra fnances help, but i can't help if he feels emasculated by it. And to top off everything, for about the last three months, i have been pretty much near death from some mystery disease. Between hospital stays and doctors visits, I know he is worn out. But it seems like his biggest complaint is my inability to eat, the longest i've gone with no food other than a carrot and a pear was 8 days. Of course i ended up in the hospital due to severe dehydration and to run tests. And he LOVES to cook. He does it when he's happy, stressed, upset, etc. The smell alone makes me incredibly ill.
This Wednesday I am being admitted to Wake Forest for a few days and I'm absolutely terrified out of my mind. This visit is only to run a few tests, possibly put a stent in, but mostly to observe me--apparently the vast majority of patients develop pancreatitis from the test alone. Needless to say, i'm terrified, terrified, terrified...I'm only 30 and have already beat uterine cancer and now this-granted, I understand that in the grand scheme of things I'm so incredibly blessed, but I'm starting to run low on optimism. Every time I try to talk to him, he ends up getting frustrated, and then I feel as if I've done something wrong. Is it just a culture difference? He was raised in a pretty stoic family in Jersey, while my family is loud, lovey, obnoxious and southern. Is it just a deifference in cultures, or is this just a preview of the heartbreak to come? Not to mention, he will not even be at the hospital, which is fine because my mom will be there and he told me if i develop pancreatitis, he'll make sure to come over, but i could really use his support the first couple of days. Am i overreacting? Maybe it's all
of the meds that they have me on just so that i can keep down fluids that are making me so emotional; either way, I don't like it.
Does anyone have any insight at all? Even if it's something i may not want to hear, I need to hear it because I'm getting nowhere otherwise. Hope everyone is doing well. xoxo-Atomic

"A candle loses nothing of its light by lighting another candle."--catholicschoolgirl

"Revenge is sweet and not fattening"
-Alfred Hitchcock-

Since this is open post: Did anyone hear about the mob(dozens to 100) of black teens that attacked non-blacks at the end of last nights State Fair in Wisconsin? Today's Fair policy is no under 18yo's after 5pm without parent or guardian. I only mention cuz my stepdad is from Wisconsin and I spent many a summer there as a teen.

I was thinking about IV's critique of Joplin and had some random thoughts. She was channeling the blues, but blues artists had been borrowing from their predecessors for at least 50 years by then. Her audience was really, really stoned, so maybe less critical. Like Winehouse, she was wasted during most of her live shows, so they're not really a true measure of her singing. Also like Winehouse, people loved her because she poured out her damaged heart.

@Kate:
Relax and have a wonderful time! Back in the day, there was an "earthquake ride" at Pier 39. During my years of playing tour guide for friends and relatives from elsewhere, someone always wanted to visit that touristy waterfront park...and no one ever had the courage to ride the thing.

@Becky:
LMAO!

Submitted by kate773 on Fri, 08/05/2011 - 8:29pm.

Sounds idyllic. I'm very jelly. AND you get to see the Giants beat the Pirates...

Does your wine tour include a driver? (That's the best, so you can, umm, savor the wines.) When I go to the wineries, I always realize what plonk they sell us in the supermarkets; they keep all the good stuff on-site.

One more suggestion, then I'll shut up: oysters at Hog Island and cheese at Cowgirl Creamery in the Ferry Building (in the Embarcadero, looking at the Bay Bridge). http://www.ferrybuildingmarketplace.com/

I can't hear the fing song, and not interested in listening to the audience. I just want to get naked with that ho anyway.

Submitted by becky n sydney on Fri, 08/05/2011 - 8:31pm.
I think it would only be polite for Eminem to return the compliment and perform one of Taylor's songs.
Can't recall one offhand...
----------------------

I vote for either Dear John about John Mayer or Still an Innocent about Kanye or maybe December about the wolf from twilight.

Submitted by ImpertinentVixen on Fri, 08/05/2011 - 7:20pm.
Janis Joplin = overrated.
"""""""""""""""""""""
NOOOOOOO!!! Take it back!

Pete Murray Feeler

I think it would only be polite for Eminem to return the compliment and perform one of Taylor's songs.
Can't recall one offhand...

Submitted by A.cotw on Fri, 08/05/2011 - 7:06pm

You're so nice. Thank you. I'm sure everything will be fine. It's just one of those "wouldn't that be just my luck" kind of things. I'm really excited about the trip. I've heard so many wonderful things about the area, I can't wait to see it.

Submitted by RustyHooligan on Fri, 08/05/2011 - 7:29pm.
Submitted by kate773 on Fri, 08/05/2011 - 3:27pm.
Staying in Sonoma, doing the wine country tour thing

Pretty excited about it, but also concerned the Big One will hit while I'm there.

_________________

Try Preston Vineyards in Dry Creek: mostly organic, insane goat cheese, EVOO, homemade bread: https://www.prestonvineyards.com/

No earthquakes set for next week; we always get at least ten days' warning.

**************************

Well that makes me feel even better! : )

We booked a private tour on Tuesday (I know, fancy fancy. It's our treat while there). We had to book the wineries ahead of time so we're doing lunch and a tour of Imagery winery, then Deerfield Ranch and St. Francis (my bf requested that one) all in one day. If we have any time on Friday maybe we'll swing by that one as well.

We're flying out Monday, doing the wineries and dinner in Sausalito on Tuesday, Giants game and dinner in San Fran on Wednesday, and then back to San Fran for a day of sightseeing on Thursday. We have a redeye out of San Fran on Friday so we have the whole day to goof off before we have to drive back in to San Fran.

And now you all have my itinerary in case you need to reach me.

Oh no, I think I got Joss Stone mixed up with someone else. Now I gotta rack my brain.

Submitted by fishsticksfan on Fri, 08/05/2011 - 7:31pm.

I read an interview with Joss Stone where she was compared to Janis Joplin, and Joss was all offended.

I think it's awesome that she performs barefoot.

Submitted by fishsticksfan on Fri, 08/05/2011 - 7:31pm.
I read an interview with Joss Stone where she was compared to Janis Joplin, and Joss was all offended.
________________________________________________________________
Maybe because Joss Stone is truly wholesome?

I read an interview with Joss Stone where she was compared to Janis Joplin, and Joss was all offended.

Submitted by kate773 on Fri, 08/05/2011 - 3:27pm.
Staying in Sonoma, doing the wine country tour thing

Pretty excited about it, but also concerned the Big One will hit while I'm there.

_________________

Try Preston Vineyards in Dry Creek: mostly organic, insane goat cheese, EVOO, homemade bread: https://www.prestonvineyards.com/

No earthquakes set for next week; we always get at least ten days' warning.

I actually thought Taylor was funny and cute. *shoot me*

Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Fri, 08/05/2011 - 7:20pm.

Hiya ESE! I am not a drinker, but I will take a cool, tall glass of milk!
----------------------------------

you take the milk, and i'll take the booze... and some frosting, if ya don't mind!... heehee!

rreeaallllyy got go!... back later... *waves hiya/bye to all*

-----------------------------
"I could listen to a babbling brook,
and hear a song that I could understand.
I keep wishing it could be that way.
Because my world would be a Wonderland."

Submitted by ImpertinentVixen on Fri, 08/05/2011 - 7:20pm.
Janis Joplin = overrated.

Are you joking?

Submitted by ImpertinentVixen on Fri, 08/05/2011 - 7:20pm.

Janis Joplin = overrated.

*crosses IV off Xmas gift list*

Janis Joplin = overrated.

Taylor has some talent and doesn't screech like a cat in heat.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

Hiya ESE! I am not a drinker, but I will take a cool, tall glass of milk!

*************************************
Submitted by El Bastardo on Mon, 07/04/2011 - 11:39am.
You're only bisexual if someone rams a bottle of water up your ass and you cum. FACT.

*kicks open thread door*... *meanders(good descriptive word, huh?!) to the bar*... *grabs bottle of Absolut*... *drops music links*...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xaKGtykdObA

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SGA1CsM_4OU

... it's a two-fer, people!... what?!... i'm fuckin' busy!!LOL!

*exits thread*

-----------------------------
"I could listen to a babbling brook,
and hear a song that I could understand.
I keep wishing it could be that way.
Because my world would be a Wonderland."

Submitted by kate773 on Fri, 08/05/2011 - 5:27pm.
Submitted by M.E. on Fri, 08/05/2011 - 4:33pm.
Submitted by A.cotw on Fri, 08/05/2011 - 4:26pm.
*********************************************
My boyfriend and I are coming to stay with you two, lol. You can comfort me when I start screaming. Because I WILL be one of those hysterical non-natives.

Seriously, I'm checking in with Dlisted if we have a tremor. Just to let you all know I survived and then we can all laugh at my idiocy. Yes. I will do that on my vacation.
*************************************************************
M.E., I was lying in a bubblebath reading during one of those and the tub rocked like a cradle. Whee!!!!The one thing I won't do immediately after an earthquake is get on BART or Muni.

Kate, what we're trying to tell you is that the minor quakes are nothing to fear. We grew up here and developed an instinct for how to react. Also, the building codes here are extremely strict.It takes a big one to destroy anything.

If you're sitting at a table, slide under it. If you are standing and the initial jolt does not knock you down, it will probably be over by the time you get to a doorway. Just step away from large windows,bookcases, and heavy items of furniture which might fall on you.

Having said that, I witnessed something really interesting in Foreign Service school. We were at a Model UN regional conference, which was being held in Ontario in the Imperial Valley. The keynote speaker was the Foreign Affairs Minister from New Zealand. During his after-dinner speech, a small quake hit. It immediately became obvious where the 500 or so student delegates were from. The ones from Arizona,New Mexico,Nevada, and Oregon screamed, dove under the tables and a few ran out of the banquet room. The ones from California stayed put and didn't laugh.
The FA Minister didn't miss a beat.
Badass.

I won't even go into the restrained hilarity in the receiving line afterwards.

Taylor bitch, you have no street cred, and i can foresee your downfall (atleast in Europe) in 5...4...3...

There's something soooo fake about her, can't stand her. She's the biggest slut around but tries to act so nicey-nicey, fervent catholic girl-like. If i could, i would've punched her in the face.

BTW, who wants some Eristoff???

"I want total sensory deprivation and back-up drugs!"

A guy in Grand Rapids just killed 7 people, drove through the down shooting at shit while being chased by police and broke into a house and held three people hostage and now the people of that city have to hear this?

uh does she have an arm tattoo?