What In The Hell Kind Of GD Everything Is This?

My wet dreams tell me that when you take a mythical ride on the mighty hammer of Thor on ASkars' crotch, you are suddenly shot into a magical world of wonder where all nipples look like they belong in a Maynards bag and you develop an uncanny ability to make complete sense out of assembly instructions for Ikea furniture. So the fall from that euphoric orgasm is probably a hard one and leads you to do dark and dirty shit. Unfortunately for Kate's stomach, that "dark and dirty shit" doesn't involve eating something other than water soup and oxygen burgers. Instead of eating her feelings, Kate is fugging up her feelings and wearing them all over her body.

While leaving a Coldplay concert in L.A. last night with movie director Michael Polish, Kate looked like a wet troll doll stuck on top of a pencil. Easter egg dye is reserved only for hard boiled eggs, not for the splintery mop of straw on your head, ho.

When you tell who ever is doing your hair that you want it to look like a melted Firecracker Popsicle without the fire and he quits your ass on the spot, you should take that as a hint. Bitch looks like the broom my abuelita used when she tried to sweep blue cake frosting off of the patio after my 7th birthday party. (Yeah, I don't know why abuelitas always try to sweep shit that isn't sweepable.)

Although, Kate did show up to a Coldplay concert even though there were rumors that Chris Martin cheated on Fishy with her, so I'll give her that. Anything that makes Fishsticks Paltrow ask the concierge at her hotel in Paris where the nearest organic kitten imported from Holland is so she can punch it is fine by me. (Note: I do not condone taking out your frustrations on a kitten. Organic or otherwise.)

Splash, Wenn.com

Posted by: Michael K

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Do You Need A Moment? • Kate Bosworth

Submitted by AitchCS on Fri, 08/05/2011 - 7:05pm.

wow, she looks twice her age!

Submitted by Sarah Smile on Fri, 08/05/2011 - 9:59am.

I stand corrected: Gwynnie dropped out of UCSB.

Sarah Smile

Submitted by Sarah Smile on Fri, 08/05/2011 - 9:57am.

"She is as stale as Gwyneth Paltrow.....

Bosworth was accepted to Princeton University in late 2000,but because of continual deferral of her attendance, her acceptance was later revoked."

Mmmm....something tells me that Gwynnie, a UC Santa Barbara alum despite her parents' connections, couldn't have gotten her ass near Princeton.

Kind of funny that Princeton eventually revoked the acceptance.

Sarah Smile

Submitted by RustyHooligan on Thu, 08/04/2011 - 8:56pm.

She stars in his 2012 movie "Big Sur" (yeah, me neither--something about Kerouac).

Submitted by Bjork You on Thu, 08/04/2011 - 8:50pm.

The world, at least mine, anyway, doesn't need Goopy Paltrow and certainly not a Goopy manque. (Anyone remember her "I'm a blue blood" comment?)

http://nylover.blogspot.com/2005/06/elle-february-04-kate-bosworth.html

Submitted by angry_secretary on Thu, 08/04/2011 - 7:09pm.

lover her shoes.

and Aquamarine mermaid grandma brigade hair (if you get my reference, I love you)

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"Wrist full of colorful rubberbands!" - album reviewer extraordinaire Khia

quite fittingly...

http://j.mp/f89sny

Submitted by boredasfuckyo on Thu, 08/04/2011 - 6:59pm.

I have my hair streaked blue. I like it. Not that though. Thats a hot mess.

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Angels say they can make you suffer.They give and take like a vicious lover .When all this loses meaning, You'll never want it back somehow"-Neverending White Lights (The Grace)

Submitted by boredasfuckyo on Thu, 08/04/2011 - 6:53pm.

That bitch has some raggedy ass split ends. Is she too lazy to get a hair cut, she just dyed it blue at the ends and hoped it would look fine? No bitch, get a haircut. And blouse is a no. everything is fine. She needs a sandwhich too.

Submitted by ghost of gene r... on Thu, 08/04/2011 - 3:21pm.

She looks like someone bought a wig from the Halloween Spirit Shop and and didn't bother to brush it out before sticking it on a swizzle stick.

Submitted by boston61 on Thu, 08/04/2011 - 3:03pm.

I truthfully love her hair. But I think she has an eating disorder.

Submitted by Dion flowerboy on Thu, 08/04/2011 - 1:10pm.

PM Dawn!

Submitted by Big Bertha on Thu, 08/04/2011 - 12:52pm.

Sent from my iPhone

She looks like a bloodless zombie.

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Dale Doback: Okay, here's the shot out of the cannon: Oprah, Barbara Walters, your wife. You gotta fuck one, marry one, kill one, go!

Submitted by grommet on Thu, 08/04/2011 - 11:50am.

This woman is obviously ill. Someone should give her some food.

Submitted by HangryHippo on Thu, 08/04/2011 - 11:30am.

is she even a real person? she looks like a mannequin.

www.hangryhippo.com: Where hunger, anger, media consumption, and satire meet for a snack

Submitted by WhiskeyTango on Thu, 08/04/2011 - 11:24am.

The Avril Lavigne scraggly color tipped hair doesn't flatter anyone. That stopped being cool in like, 8th grade.

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""There is no chicken or egg. It's molecular." - Lady Gaga

Submitted by Stoney on Thu, 08/04/2011 - 11:14am.

Yes!! Just imagine the blouse unbuttoned over some fitted black or gray pants and her hair in a messy updo with some chunky pearls or something and the top would look right.
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"Let s/he who is without sin, cast the first Stoney."

Submitted by YourClothesAreDead on Thu, 08/04/2011 - 11:08am.

Quentin Crisp!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HFPqDUQKmt8

Submitted by little_rascal on Thu, 08/04/2011 - 11:09am.

Submitted by Stoney on Thu, 08/04/2011 - 12:15pm.

Her top is from the Missoni Fall Collection and I think it's absolutely fabulous. She's just not wearing it right.
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Co-sign! It reminds me of those fabulous big loose silk blouses with animals/flowers/maps on them that Robeto Cavalli makes, which are gorgeous and stunning. But you need to unbutton a few upper buttons for them to look just right. Then they flow around your body and so sexy.

Submitted by nunya_bizness on Thu, 08/04/2011 - 10:59am.

She is as stale as Gwyneth Paltrow.

Bosworth was born January 2, 1983 in Los Angeles, California, the only child of Patricia (née Potter), a homemaker, and Harold Bosworth, a former executive for Talbots. After leaving San Francisco at the age of six, Bosworth's family frequently moved around the country because of her father's job. She grew up mainly on the East Coast, spending the rest of her youth in Massachusetts and Connecticut.

Bosworth has always been interested in a professional career as a competitive horse racer and, by the age of fourteen, she was a champion equestrian. While attending Cohasset High School from which she graduated in 2001, Bosworth learned to speak French and was a member of the National Honor Society; she also played varsity soccer and lacrosse

Bosworth was accepted to Princeton University in late 2000,but because of continual deferral of her attendance, her acceptance was later revoked.

Submitted by kayray on Thu, 08/04/2011 - 10:58am.

How did this ugly, skinny whore attract Alexander Skarsgard? She looks absolutely ill. As my mother would say she must have a diamond plated pussy or something.

Submitted by sybil on Thu, 08/04/2011 - 10:55am.

Take it easy on her Dlisters...if you were dumped by ASkars & also had to look at continuous photos of your ex (Orlando Bloom) his stunning model wife & that beautiful baby....girlfriend is having a breakdown!! And her body in Blue Crush was amazing!!!

Submitted by NOT IMPRESSED on Thu, 08/04/2011 - 10:53am.

Submitted by Lucifer_Sam on Thu, 08/04/2011 - 11:27am.
She must whore for cash because I don't see where else her money could be coming from.

I heard from somewhere that her family is well-off. I guess she doesn't "need" to work. Bitch.
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Douchechill!

Submitted by saltydog88 on Thu, 08/04/2011 - 10:51am.

Submitted by justincase on Thu, 08/04/2011 - 11:29am.
The only thing I ever saw her in was Cold Comfort Farm - 10 or 15 years ago I think - and I do not recognize her as the same person. Helluva way to age oneself.

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Babe that was Kate Beckinsale who still pretty much looks like human perfection

Submitted by ISprainedMyUvula on Thu, 08/04/2011 - 10:45am.

Submitted by harveyprice on Thu, 08/04/2011 - 11:25am.
I will never understand why this one wouldn't want to maintain the fucking awsome bod she had from Blue Crush days, or at least try to keep it somewhere around there.

*****

She had to gain muscle for the role and freaked out over the number on the scale, no doubt. She's looked frail and thin for years and is a shadow of the healthy, pretty girl she was then.

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Try to be original, like the Colonel Sanders (may he rest in peace with his secret spices and shit). - urmomma

Submitted by Stoney on Thu, 08/04/2011 - 10:45am.

Her top is from the Missoni Fall Collection and I think it's absolutely fabulous. She's just not wearing it right.
_____________________________________________
"Let s/he who is without sin, cast the first Stoney."

Submitted by Echo27 on Thu, 08/04/2011 - 10:38am.

Why would that hot, sexy piece of man fuck on her skinny ass? He might as well go through the dumpster at KFC and rub himself on some chicken bones!

On another note, I thought that was Aimee Mann for a hot second.

Submitted by ethang on Thu, 08/04/2011 - 10:38am.

Apparently she HATED how she looked in that movie. I remember an interview where she literally cringed at the thought of looking like that again.

Submitted by Chirio on Thu, 08/04/2011 - 10:30am.

saw a Polygamist story on NatGeo on tuesday night. That's what the shirt she is wearing reminded me of. The women who wear that type of frilly flowery shit.

and I think coloring your hair is cool but it has to be done ...REALLY WELL! that mess at the end of her hair is caca doo doo. Is she on drugs? she has that dirty lohan look

Coma Caca!
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Submitted by MickeyHolland on Thu, 08/04/2011 - 10:29am.

Seriously, why cheat on Paltrow with Bosworth? That's like adding insult to injury.

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"It is unwise to be too sure of one's own wisdom. It is healthy to be reminded that the strongest might weaken and the wisest might err."

Mahatma Gandhi

Submitted by dementa on Thu, 08/04/2011 - 10:27am.

Submitted by little_rascal on Thu, 08/04/2011 - 11:38am.

And Stephen Fry was hilarious. "I'm engorgedly in love with yooouu!" Plus Ian McKellen yelling that there's no butter in hell.

Not to mention that crazy-ass old bat who kept talking about how she saw something nasty in the woodshed. I love it when the Hollywood dude says right back to her, "Sure you did. But did it see YOU, baby?" He's probably seen too many freaks to be fazed by her.

I love that movie.

Oh, and Kate Bosworth? She's really gone downhill since Orlando Bloom.

*********

I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.

Submitted by BitchHouse on Thu, 08/04/2011 - 10:27am.

Why am i fixated on that tranny pirate on her blouse?

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Eazy E's own prescription for "nourishing the inner aspect", Nutz On Ya Chin.

Submitted by ditquoi on Thu, 08/04/2011 - 10:25am.

and now that I look at the thumbs up close...uhhh...ha ha ha ha ha....dayum.

she could use a couple of weave tracks for fullness...and a sandwich while she's getting them sewn in.

put some alfalfa sprouts on that sandwich by the way, it helps the hair grow.

;-)

Submitted by little_rascal on Thu, 08/04/2011 - 10:25am.

Submitted by islandgirl on Thu, 08/04/2011 - 11:43am.

Submitted by little_rascal on Thu, 08/04/2011 - 11:38am.
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Ooooh, Rufus Sewell. He was so yum in 'A Knight's Tale' and 'Pillars of the Earth' too.
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Also check him out as Will Ladislaw in BBC's "Middlemarch". And I just saw him in "The last king" as Charles II. He's one of my British crushes.

Submitted by ditquoi on Thu, 08/04/2011 - 10:22am.

Yeah I was reading the other day that the new shizz for blondes is to dye the tips blue. Lauren Conrad had it done and hers looked really cute. It was just a couple of strands though...she didn't dip her hair in Ty-D-Bowl like KBo over here. :-P

Submitted by islandgirl on Thu, 08/04/2011 - 10:13am.

Submitted by little_rascal on Thu, 08/04/2011 - 11:38am.
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Ooooh, Rufus Sewell. He was so yum in 'A Knight's Tale' and 'Pillars of the Earth' too.

Submitted by _meh_ on Thu, 08/04/2011 - 10:09am.

I like it.

Take me Jesus.

Submitted by little_rascal on Thu, 08/04/2011 - 10:08am.

Submitted by islandgirl on Thu, 08/04/2011 - 11:35am.

justincase, not to be nit picky, but it was Kate Beckinsale that was in Cold Comfort Farm. :)
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I love that movie! And the best part of it was Rufus Sewell!

Submitted by islandgirl on Thu, 08/04/2011 - 10:05am.

justincase, not to be nit picky, but it was Kate Beckinsale that was in Cold Comfort Farm. :)

Submitted by Anonymoussss on Thu, 08/04/2011 - 10:04am.

Fungus Head.

Submitted by FunFilled on Thu, 08/04/2011 - 10:03am.

She just needs to chop that shit off and eat a couple big macs.

Lovers Keep On The Road Youre On's picture

Submitted by Lovers Keep On ... on Thu, 08/04/2011 - 10:01am.

I was there last night and I guess Blohan was there as well. I'm quite disappointed I didn't witness that mess first hand.

Submitted by oh dave on Thu, 08/04/2011 - 10:01am.

I thought that Coldplay was celibate.

Submitted by justincase on Thu, 08/04/2011 - 9:59am.

The only thing I ever saw her in was Cold Comfort Farm - 10 or 15 years ago I think - and I do not recognize her as the same person. Helluva way to age oneself.

Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Thu, 08/04/2011 - 9:58am.

Submitted by brandie_larue on Thu, 08/04/2011 - 11:25am.
Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Thu, 08/04/2011 - 11:10am.

Ummmm, I thought only serial killers and nerds buttoned up their shirts to the neck.

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Maybe she was attempting the Steve Sanders look.

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LOL!
Add him to the nerd, possible serial killer column!

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Submitted by El Bastardo on Mon, 07/04/2011 - 11:39am.
You're only bisexual if someone rams a bottle of water up your ass and you cum. FACT.

Submitted by Lucifer_Sam on Thu, 08/04/2011 - 9:57am.

When I was in high school I watched this shit show called Young Americans (oh the fucking shame) and she was in it. That's the only thing I've ever seen her in and it was eleven years ago. Because she's a broomstick the ~~~~fashion elite~~~~ love her. She must whore for cash because I don't see where else her money could be coming from.

Submitted by missskitttin on Thu, 08/04/2011 - 9:56am.

Dang. And I thought that was Lindsay Lohan and I was having an acid trip because of some acid left in the crevices of my couch, that I absorbed through my nalgas skin without knowing...

Submitted by Arlene Machiavelli on Thu, 08/04/2011 - 9:56am.

This is the look she was going for...
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http://search.babylon.com/imageres.php?iu=http://www.twirlit.com/wp-cont... conrad blue hair&babsrc=NT_ss

Submitted by harveyprice on Thu, 08/04/2011 - 9:55am.

I will never understand why this one wouldn't want to maintain the fucking awsome bod she had from Blue Crush days, or at least try to keep it somewhere around there.