One of the mysteries of the world has just been solved. Megan Fox, OctoMom, Chloe Lattanzi, Daisy de la Hoya, Jocelyn Wildenstein, Cher and St. Angie Jolie are all filling their faces with the chemicals in freon to try to replicate the 8th world wonder most of us call Pete Burns’ face. Those bitches can stuff their cheeks with toddler knees and stitch a baboon’s butt over their lips the same way Pete has, but they will never ever be even a morsel of the beauty pie his face serves up on a daily basis. Pete’s beauty is just like an orchid. It gets more beautiful with time. And sometimes its petals fall off and need to be glued back on.
Here’s Pete out shopping in London today with his husband Michael Simpson. If all Royal Canadian Mounted Police looked the way Pete does, there would be zero crime in Canada. Criminals would be too busy gazing into the endless abyss of gorgeousness on Pete’s face while trying to figure out where his nostrils end and his cheeks begin.