Nicole Kidman Has Never Looked Hotter

August 4, 2011 / Posted by:

Nicole Kidman usually looks like an ice statue that’s been wrapped in toilet porcelain, shellacked with a thick layer of Botox and dressed in clothes from a French toddler circa 1969, but it was a different story yesterday when she showed up to the New Orleans set of her new movie The Paperboy looking like this. The costume designer and hair hos working on that movie should just collect their awards now for transforming a human ice cube that fell out of a side freezer’s vagina many years ago into a glamorous graveyard shift diner waitress who smells like White Rain hairspray, menthol butts, cotton candy Lip Smackers and a drunk trucker’s moustache sweat. That is a bitch who always keeps several fake state IDs in her purse and knows which rest stop sinks have hot water for a more pleasurable whore bath experience.

It’s like if Crystal Barbie (Sidenote: Mom, why didn’t you ever get me a Crystal Barbie?!!) fell on hard times.

When Nicole is done with this movie, she hold on to those scuffed white Payless pumps and maintain that Courtney Stodden hair, because this is the look she was meant to have.

Here’s more pictures from yesterday including a couple of a strung out, constipated John Cusack who I’m guessing is playing a walking version of Pee-wee Herman’s mug shot.

Our commenting rules are pretty simple: If you make any overly offensive comment (racist, bigoted, etc..) or go way off topic when not in an Open Post, your comments will be deleted and you will be banned. If you see an offensive or spammy comment you think should be deleted, flag it for the mods and they'll be forever grateful and give you their first born (although, you probably don't want that).

alt="drupal analytics" >