Hot Slut Of The Day!

August 4, 2011 / Posted by:

Bongo, the Beanie Baby child of a Brooklyn couple who is now missing after they lost it in their neighborhood of Park Slope. They are offering a $500 reward for the safe return of Bongo. This is the closest you will ever get to seeing Jennifer Aniston on a very special episode of Strange Addiction.

47-year-old Bonni Marcus and 58-year-old Jack Zinzi just sat down to have dinner at a restaurant on Sunday night when they realized that their sand-stuffed baby was not in her pocket. Tears fell, the sky dropped, the earth spun and Bonni channeled Michelle Pfeiffer in Deep End of the Ocean and started screaming for Bongo. They checked every inch of the car thinking they left him there, but Bongo was gone. Bonni thinks she accidentally dropped him from walking to the car to the restaurant and believes that somebody picked him up off the sidewalk to raise him as their own. Jack told The Brooklyn Paper, “Somebody must have come along and thought he was as cute as I know he is.”

Bonni and Jack are strictly friends, but they have considered themselves Bongo’s parents ever since Jack bought him ten years ago. They taped MISSING MONKEY BABY fliers all over the area where they lost Bongo and are praying to the Beanie Baby gods that he returns soon.

These two crazies can buy a Beanie Babies monkey on eBay for the price it cost to print out all those fliers at Kinko’s, but they say Bongo is a part of their family and can’t be replaced. They take him everywhere and talk to him.

Okay, who keeps their beloved baby in their pocket? Why wasn’t he in a stroller or a Beanie Baby Bjorn? BBPS (Beanie Baby Protective Services) needs to investigate that.

I was going to make the suggestion that we should all go in together on buying a Bongo imposter and trick Bonni and Jack into giving us the $500 reward, but they won’t fall for it. The Beanie Baby monkey we give them won’t have a kilo of coke in its belly like Bongo does. Seriously, the bad shit has to be involved in this story some way or another. Or maybe this is just another one of James Franco’s art theses.

via Fark (Thanks Blaine)

SHARE
Our commenting rules are pretty simple: If you make any overly offensive comment (racist, bigoted, etc..) or go way off topic when not in an Open Post, your comments will be deleted and you will be banned. If you see an offensive or spammy comment you think should be deleted, flag it for the mods and they'll be forever grateful and give you their first born (although, you probably don't want that).

src="https://c.statcounter.com/922697/0/f674ac4a/1/"
alt="drupal analytics" >