Scenes From My Dreams

August 3, 2011 / Posted by:

If you took the ovary of a gilded unicorn, fertilized it with the sperm of a rhinestone peacock, incubated it for 5 seconds on a crystal chandelier’s light bulb and then stuck it under a microscope that doubles as a kaleidoscope, this is what would bless your eyeballs. It’s like a beauty baptism. This is the most beautiful creature in Germany the world Harald Glööckler leaving Brigitte Nielsen in the kind of awe that makes you coo out a seizure-inducing orgasm in slow motion.

Natural beauty intertwined with natural beauty at the opening of Harald’s showroom of glamour in Berlin yesterday evening. True story: The record for the longest sunset ever was set yesterday, because the sun was so mesmerized by these two beauties that it refused to go away.

This is like a production of Phantom of the Opera performed by vampires who cut the dried blood they snort up with diamond dust. Harald is totally what the Phantom would look like if he got a makeover at the MAC counter.

Everything about this is perfect. Harald and Gitte even look stunningly gorgeous when they pose with the bone of the farm animal they scarified to stay this beautiful. And we pray…..

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