At a press conference for Friends with Benefits, a reporter asked Justin Timberlake the question everybody asks after sitting through the audio-visual torture devices known as Yogi Bear and The Love Guru: Why do movies? Why not do more music? The Russian to English translation was slow in getting to Justin’s ears, so Mila Kunis, who lived in the Ukraine until she was 7, took the question and used her tongue as a whip to put the shush on that ho’s mouth. The Daily What translated Mila’s Russian verbal slap into English and it came out like this:
“Why movies? Why not? What kind of question is that? Why are you here?”
Meanwhile, Justin’s brain queefed out several questions marks during the whole thing. How do you say “HERP DERP” in Russian?
What I want to know is, why does every bitch out sound so much better in a foreign language? Seriously, every now and again I’ll type “you useless dumb whore” into Google Translate and make that robot lady say it to me in different languages. It’s soooo not the same as the real thing, because ho isn’t real, can’t act, has zero feeling in her voice and doesn’t mean it.
It’s totally one of my goals in life to get torn a new asshole in every single foreign language. Because “you useless dumb whore” is like music to my ears when it leaps off of a foreign tongue. And because I want new assholes.
And did Justin ever answer that question, because I know some hos who want to know. Here’s Justin (whose HERP DERP eyes tell me that he’s still queefing question marks over the whole thing) and Mila leaving a restaurant in London tonight.