SamRo Got Busted For DUI
Lindsay Lohan's former partner in pussy found herself smirking at the mug shot camera early this morning after she was arrested in Baker, CA (aka the gateway to Death Valley and home of the world's largest thermometer) for driving while in a state of drunk. That sound you hear is LiLo dropping her coke spoon to clutch at her fruit leather chest while saying, "Awww, she's trying to get closer to me."
TMZ says that at 10:30 this morning, SamRo was passing through Baker in her Porsche when the police pulled her over for speeding. SamRo DJ'd the night before at Lavo so the drunk probably hadn't settled yet. SamRo got an F- on a field sobriety test and then refused to blow on a Breathalyzer. (The cops should've known that SamRo is a muncher, not a blower. Rude of them!) They took SamRo down the station in Baker and gave her a Breathalyzer test there. SamRo blew over the legal limit. She was booked and later released.
SamRo is a dumb fuck douche (Wait. If you're a female douche, does that mean your vagina is self-douche-ing? Does that mean female douches smell like fish and chips and vinegar without the fish and chips?) for two reasons.
One: Driving drunk is some stupid shit, because it's stressful trying to operate a motor vehicle while drunk. It's disrespectful to the drunk experience! When drunk visits your body, you should savor it, love it, nurture it and hug it... You shouldn't stress it out! How dare that foot-faced asshole waste a perfectly good buzz by trying to drive a car! And you know, that whole "killing innocent people" thing isn't right either.
Two: When you get arrested for DUI in California, there's a good chance that you will be sentenced to alcohol education class and that means you'll probably find yourself sitting next to LiLo in one of those classes. Is SamRo's stupid ass trying to get stalked again? LiLo moved next door to SamRo, and now SamRo is moving into the desk next to LiLo's at booze education class. Seriously, most bitches in California don't drive drunk because they don't want to run into LiLo at the probation department. That really is a selling point for NOT committing a crime.
SamRo just... I can't with that bitch.
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living in LA I totally get it why people drive drunk because you can't get fucking anywhere without a car. But I don't get it why rich famous people do...bitch pay for a fucking cab already
Drunk at 10 in the morning? No wonder she and Blohan liked each other.
The rest of her siblings look very nice and clean cut. Why can't SamRo get some sleep and eat a sandwich or some shit???
Nail me to my car... then I'll tell you who you are...Joe The Lion
Face like a foot! hahahahahahahaha
no way SamRo was an inspiration for Shane, character from the L word. Shane is effing hot, while Samro is anything but.
complete waste of air.....what an asshole!
OMG!! Her face does look like a foot. Good one MK.
She can't weigh much over 90 lbs - probably just a drink or two gets her tanked. Dumbass.
Does anyone know if SamRo looked like that *before* she was in The Firecrotch? Is it possible that The Firecrotch actually transmogrified a normal looking person into...a rub-your-eyes-it-can't-be-true looking person?
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"Zahara wore her signature double shank eye..." --MK
Evil cupcake, besides picking up valtrex and keystone light this morning; I'm glad I accomplished something! MUAH
god, skinny hipster lesbians with sunken eyes are the only ones who made out well in the whole skinny jeans thing, the rest of us who are shaped like biological women instead of anorexic stick insects only helped invent the term 'muffin top'. Damn her. She looks like her hooha would taste like a lemon; like the pH is way off from and the flora in there is either having a massive party or leaving the building for good.
'Unexplicably hot like Selby from Monster'?
Selby, or, rather, the actress playing Selby, looked like a carny.
Driving drunk is some stupid shit, because it's stressful trying to operate a motor vehicle while drunk. It's disrespectful to the drunk experience! When drunk visits your body, you should savor it, love it, nurture it and hug it... You shouldn't stress it out! How dare that foot-faced asshole waste a perfectly good buzz by trying to drive a car! And you know, that whole "killing innocent people" thing isn't right either.
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LOL! Agree!
♥ Threadkilla!
RIP, Amy: Sep14,1983 to Jul23,2011
http://youtu.be/Con6WaimJ6c
Ok, I saw a picture of SamRo on the Cobra Snake the other day and my first thought was "why does this bitch insist on looking stupid and ugly?" She is always making so Jr. High hand gesture in pictures and she's in her 30s, she always makes a stupid face. Not to mention she's pale as a ghost and bleaches her hair a ghastly color. She reminds me of Edward Scissor Hands, like she hasn't seen sunlight in years. And her spoiled rich bitch attitude does not help her cause either.
Submitted by ISprainedMyUvula on Tue, 08/02/2011 - 8:00am.
Who's drunk at 10:30 in the morning?
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*waves*
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If you’ve got issues, psychological issues, if you’re on any kind of medication for anxiety or depression, I’m not interested. ~ Dimitri the Lover
Submitted by ISprainedMyUvula on Tue, 08/02/2011 - 8:00am.
Who's drunk at 10:30 in the morning?
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ur mom
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Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.
Who's drunk at 10:30 in the morning?
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Try to be original, like the Colonel Sanders (may he rest in peace with his secret spices and shit). - urmomma
Hot Twat and Raul have officially made me gag this morning! VOM!
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Submitted by El Bastardo on Mon, 07/04/2011 - 11:39am.
You're only bisexual if someone rams a bottle of water up your ass and you cum. FACT.
Submitted by HotTwat on Tue, 08/02/2011 - 7:38am.
"Maybe I'm gross but..."
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The first step is admitting it...
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If you’ve got issues, psychological issues, if you’re on any kind of medication for anxiety or depression, I’m not interested. ~ Dimitri the Lover
Maybe I'm gross but I'd totally sit on her mouth and enjoy every minute. She kinda looks like a boy she kinda looks like a girl so she's like a gender confusion halfway house.
Submitted by Nanners on Tue, 08/02/2011 - 7:33am.
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Tue, 08/02/2011 - 7:32am.
THAT FACE!!!
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has been in the firecrotch.
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So nasty. Sambo is truly an unattractive person. Would not (if I were a lesbian, of course).
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If you’ve got issues, psychological issues, if you’re on any kind of medication for anxiety or depression, I’m not interested. ~ Dimitri the Lover
"Ma'am, have you been drinking while eating tuna tonight?"
Submitted by Meatblocks on Mon, 06/27/2011 - 12:16pm.
suckandfuck and raul are like the goofus and gallant of sick humor.
the best.
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I'm not a living legend. I'm just a myth.
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Tue, 08/02/2011 - 7:32am.
THAT FACE!!!
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has been in the firecrotch.
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What kind of fuckery is this?
THAT FACE!!!
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If you’ve got issues, psychological issues, if you’re on any kind of medication for anxiety or depression, I’m not interested. ~ Dimitri the Lover
LOL@how many people hate SamRo.
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Submitted by El Bastardo on Mon, 07/04/2011 - 11:39am.
You're only bisexual if someone rams a bottle of water up your ass and you cum. FACT.
All that money and you can't get a driver !!!!
Maybe she was in Baker because she needed some Alien Jerky? It's the best place in the world to pick up some delicious Alien Jerky...just read the ten million billboards!
samro is a nasty, gross thing...it still offends me this twink gets paid large scratch to dj...
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Charisma, Uniqueness, Nerve and Talent...
illuminati want my mind soul and my body! secret society tryin to keep an eye on me...
I just hate this bitch.
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Oh God ,why don't you go sit under a rainbow and write a poem, Kyle.
I would like a maggot more than this person.
i like Lohan more than this person
Submitted by kndall44 on Tue, 08/02/2011 - 12:59am.
Anyone from So. Cal. knows Baker is a BIG detour from the Vegas/LA route.
Its one of the poorest most destitute cities in the state, north of Victorville, south of Bakersfield, our meth capitols. Just sayin.
That's a good point. I was thinking of Barstow. Maybe she made a serious detour?
I bet she plays tunes from Back to Black when she DJs. She's sort of a sponge, a user.
I Get Along Without You Very Well
Anyone from So. Cal. knows Baker is a BIG detour from the Vegas/LA route.
Its one of the poorest most destitute cities in the state, north of Victorville, south of Bakersfield, our meth capitols. Just sayin.
Zero use for her, but I sure do like looking at her brother.
He's yummy
Now I know where the wizzened carcass of my escaped pet turtle wound up.
Blame it on the Goose: http://bit.ly/nnVM6g
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http://youknowyoucare.com
This is her first time? Thought her skank ass was into the crack often, and I mean the chemical kind.
Sorry, my dear, but anyone who has shared sweat with LiLo is real skank to me. Ewww.
Yellowed over eyes like that is usually caused by a toxic liver (hep, gallbladder stones, alcohol, aspirin OD, drugs etc etc.) There are other causes too of course, but that one is most common. Eating irregularly worsens it.
Can't imagine the mental problems it could cause looking down and seeing that face between your legs. It could probably aid in becoming a drunken unbathed skank.
I always thought that the character of Shane from the L Word was maybe modelled after SamRo, type wise. For all I know, I'm straight as a nail, but still I understand her appeal. I would have expected her to be smarter than Lohan, though.
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"It is unwise to be too sure of one's own wisdom. It is healthy to be reminded that the strongest might weaken and the wisest might err."
Mahatma Gandhi
I can only hope that in my lifetime, the opportunity for me to call someone a footfaced asshole will arise.
She looks like walking disease.
Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Mon, 08/01/2011 - 9:27pm.
In that picture, she looks like she was busted for too much chemotherapy
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Perfection!
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, I see mike.
SamRo......freeway driving with fucked and tired is a sure way to get caught or seriously hurt/killed
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I know I have a fickle heart
And a bitterness, and a wandering eye and a heaviness in my head.....
- Adele
Submitted by parissucksliterally on Mon, 08/01/2011 - 9:53pm.
Nah, it wasn't aimed at you. I just didn't think MK made it very clear, and most people have no idea how far Baker is from Las Vegas.
mike, if you were talking to me, I live in L.A., and know just how far it is for her to get home. But she intended to drive all the way to L.A. while still fucked up from work. To go home.
:)
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I know I have a fickle heart
And a bitterness, and a wandering eye and a heaviness in my head.....
- Adele
You have money. If you're too good for a cab, get a limo. Anything. Sheesh.
HEY PRECOCIOUS MAGPIE!
See my response to you on anemia/cancer in the miley cyrus tattoo thread from 8/01/2011. I'm alittle late, but your question is important.
Feel free to ask anytime. ♥
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Folks, she wasn't driving home from a bar across town. She was driving home from Las Vegas. Baker, CA is about an hour and a half from Las Vegas. So she'd been driving drunk(ish) for well over an hour when she was stopped.