Hot Slut Of The Day!
The "Don't Give A Fuck" Bird who has zero fucks to give if it rains on him and and still has zero fucks to give when your dick ass tries to knock him off your windshield wiper. I was going to write that Alfred Hitchcock was a magical bald foreteller and predicted that the birds would one day peck us into submission, but I don't think this bird is part of that plan because he's way too busy not giving a fuck to even think about shanking you in the neck with his beak.
This is the bird who will throw you a look that says "AND?" from the middle of the street when you're driving towards him and he refuses to move. If you cut some bird seed with a few fucks and tried to feed it to this bird, he'd peck around those fucks and he wouldn't even be mad about it. Getting mad = giving a fuck = something that bird just can't do!
Fun-killing maybe fact: Yes, The DGAF Bird might be stuck, too wet to fly or has the sicks, but let's just hope that the real reason why he's refusing to move is because he's fuck deficient and loving it.
via Reddit
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Submitted by yepyepyep on Mon, 08/01/2011 - 12:06pm.
late to the party
but hear me out, I was walking my dogs when a girl pointed out a baby bird yesterday, in the heat, full sun in the middle of a highway. I picked him up (yes I know mother birds "kill" birds that smell like humans, its a myth) took it to park, as soon as it was shaded, his lips closed, the heat was killing him, put him in the bushes, and came to check on him on my way out could not find him.
And I rather the mother feed it poison than it died the way it was going to. It has been my experience when I found baby birds fallen of, that if you put them in a safe location usually the mother will continue feeding the baby.
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Thats EXACTLY why I felt so bad when I saw that baby bird on the ground. It was 90 degrees middle of August at a bus station. Lying there. I'd rather take it home, in the cool air condition, because at least if it had to die, it would die like it did. ;[
and whomever said anyone was a pussy over a bird. FUCK Yourself. Thank you.
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Angels say they can make you suffer.They give and take like a vicious lover .When all this loses meaning, You'll never want it back somehow"-Neverending White Lights (The Grace)
funniest shit i've read in a long time. 'zero fucks to give' is my new catch phrase.
Just throwing out an uneducated, random guess. My parents have birds fly into the glass doors of their sun room all the time (they never cracked, but the impact makes a loud "boom" noise). They are stunned and just sit there on the steps outside for a while before recovering and flying away. Once I was even able to pick one up and put in in the bushes. So maybe this one flew into the car windshield and waddled onto the wiper.
Or it just doesn't give a damn!
That bird is clearly overheated, because it's beak is open.
That bird is clearly overheated, because it's beak is open.
That looks like Holland (or UK but same point stands), too wet to fly..lol then we'd have no goddamn birds flying around ever.
Doesn't look stuck, claws are visible.
Sick, maybe..which would be the ONLY option really, but then it wouldn't hold on that well it would be too weak...and would've probably been mauled by a cat within 5 minutes.
Also, I LOVE birds.
B!i!i!iD~
For your health.
and I'm blind apparently. I swore this was the open post, lol. sorry peeps!
late to the party
but hear me out, I was walking my dogs when a girl pointed out a baby bird yesterday, in the heat, full sun in the middle of a highway. I picked him up (yes I know mother birds "kill" birds that smell like humans, its a myth) took it to park, as soon as it was shaded, his lips closed, the heat was killing him, put him in the bushes, and came to check on him on my way out could not find him.
And I rather the mother feed it poison than it died the way it was going to. It has been my experience when I found baby birds fallen of, that if you put them in a safe location usually the mother will continue feeding the baby.
"I will pee myself today and when someone asks, "what is that smell?", I will happily tell them Veluptuous by KK!" Urmomma
maybe thats why I'm numb LOL
fuck I havent been on dlisted too much in the last month. just got done breaking up with my boyfriend of nine years and moved back to shitfuck Montana. aye fucking kill me now! all you peeps who have been divorced or split up after such a long time. how the hell do i make this time pass. i feel like a damn zombie, just numb and shit. I've been smoking a lot of weed needless to say lol
I had a cocktiel--wasn't too noisy but would whistle loudly when I would change clothes. He lived to be 22. He died a month before my 16 year old Dalmatian. This has been a shitty few months.
THis looks like it is the UK. Have you all noticed that a disproportionate number of Hot Sluts are British animals?
It's all fun and games until Wino gets to the gates of purgatory and slurs out, "HELLO, ATHENS!" ----MK
TEAM HATE BIRDS!
Fucking dinosaurs!
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"Basically, Murlonio means "from Rob's ass" in Dumfuckanese." MK
"WE ARE THE TRIFECTA OF HATE ENTER THE TRIANGLE." Sucky 6/14/11
lol this is hilarious!
Why are there people crying about the bird like someone just kicked it or something? Lay off the sob sissy-pants, all is fine and the worst that could've happened is the bird flying off annoyed.
B!i!i!iD~
For your health.
I can't believe the asshole inside the car just activated the wiper like that on the poor little not-fuck-giving bird! He could have killed it! Shithead.
I kind of hate birds too, but still.
fuck deficient and loving it.
Submitted by suckandfuck on Mon, 08/01/2011 - 7:52am.
HE DOESN'T GIVE A FUCK TODAY AND HE DEFINITELY WON'T BE GIVING A FUCK TOMORROW!!
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^^ That However, did make me lol! Lmao!
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Angels say they can make you suffer.They give and take like a vicious lover .When all this loses meaning, You'll never want it back somehow"-Neverending White Lights (The Grace)
I'm sorry, but I can't find this funny. It just made me sad. I think it's because it reminds me of that little baby bird I found on the ground at the bus station, and balled my eyes about, not being able to help. When I tell you I cried. I legit cried all day long. I felt like shit. I can't laugh at this.
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Angels say they can make you suffer.They give and take like a vicious lover .When all this loses meaning, You'll never want it back somehow"-Neverending White Lights (The Grace)
This is by far my favourite Hot Slut of the Day!
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And here I sit, without my give-a-fuck.
I hate birds.
I owned a love bird in my early 20's and that fucker constantly was doing this thing with its beak (moving it back and forth) and the sound was unbearable.
i ♥ this bird
gonna play freebird for him cause he's bic worthy
☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺
♦ When all else fails, they call me.
♦ Life sucks. Shit Happens. I'm a student of t-shirts.
I love his "fuck you' face.
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Oh God ,why don't you go sit under a rainbow and write a poem, Kyle.
Honey Badger doesn't give a shit, bird don't give a fuck.
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Submitted by Tigerlilly on Tue, 06/21/2011 - 6:49pm.
Women make me sick. There I said it.
Submitted by Team Valtrex on Tue, 06/21/2011 - 6:53pm.
Have you tried them cooked?
" If you cut some bird seed with a few fucks and tried to feed it to this bird, he'd peck around those fucks and he wouldn't even be mad about it."
Goddam I love you MK!
And FDB becomes a meme in 3, 2, ...
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"my brows could subtract that WTF look on your face so move along"
A bird pooped on my mom at the White House, seconds before we walked in for a tour. I laughed a lot, her, not as much. Those bitches have great timing, if anything.
The DGAF bird is my inspiration today.
I have hated birds ever since my college roommate moved in her cockateel and it would squawk all day and all night long. I told her it was me or the bird, so she finally took the monster back to her parents' house.
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"Let s/he who is without sin, cast the first Stoney."
Every fall my in-laws in Michigan get a flock of wild turkeys that hold up traffic in their neighborhood too. They also congregate in their huge backyard because they are huge feeders of birds and squirrels. I keep telling them they need to shoot one a year so they can have a free thanksgiving meal lmao
Birds can and do get drunk on fermented berries. Perhaps this feathered dude has imbibed enough that he feels it necessary to cling here until the world stops spinning. The wiper ride probably didn't help that. Also, birds will attack and peck at their own reflection in something shiny, thinking it's another bird. That may be what defiant, fuck-deficient bird is doing here. STANDING HIS MOTHERFUCKING GROUND, Yo.
~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~
Hekki- The floor thing made me laugh. I'm not a germophobe either but birds freak me out in general so bird crap would be a no for me.
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Try to be original, like the Colonel Sanders (may he rest in peace with his secret spices and shit). - urmomma
Fun CPR Fact~ Aunt B owns 5 birds and can officially tell you this bird is not even thinking of giving a fuck. And not only that but he WILL shit on the wiper before he takes off.
I fucking hate birds. Shifty little bastards.
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*paging Suzie Fuller*
"he's fuck deficient and loving it."= my new life motto, "fuck deficient"!!!!
Maybe he was enjoying the wiper like it was an amusement park ride...
A pigeon shat on my foot last night. Luckily I had tissue and hand sanitizer in my pocket. I am SO not paranoid about germs m(I'll eat almost anything that's fallen on almost any floor), but something about pigeon shit grosses me out beyond belief.
I heard Jacko got his eyeball pecked out by an apathetic bird, so be careful.
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"Let s/he who is without sin, cast the first Stoney."
HE DOESN'T GIVE A FUCK TODAY AND HE DEFINITELY WON'T BE GIVING A FUCK TOMORROW!!
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Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.
that bird has a big set of balls under its wing...
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Charisma, Uniqueness, Nerve and Talent...
We have birds with attitude in my neighborhood too.
This past spring, I noticed a beautiful green bird sitting on the wires outside my kitchen window, grooming himself. I paused to admire him-he stopped what he was doing, stared at me for a minute, turned around, flipped up his tail feathers, shook his fuzzy white butt at me and flew off.
We also have a large flock of geese living in the area. Can't tell you how many times I've had to sit in my car while they've help up traffic.
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'Let's eat Grandma!' or, 'Let's eat, Grandma!' Punctuation saves lives. Use it. Save a life.
In my old house, birds used to come in through the fireplace. Always while I was gone, of course. Nothing like unlocking your door at night and having a crazy ass bird come at you. Also, while I was gone, inevitably they would shit on everything and break stuff trying to fly through windows. I hate birds.
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She appears to be under the delusion that she is so hot that she can go around sans fards. She needs the fards.-Deb 7/29/11
I had bird shit all over my car Friday....washed it Saturday....parked in a different spot....more bird doo on Sunday. So fuck off Mr Bird. :p
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Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sat, 06/11/2011 - 9:32am.
It's ok to be a redneck by the way.. just don't yell git 'er done because we all hate that.
never seen anything like that before. that bird is the king of i don't give a fuck. i love it!
'We are responsible for what we do unless we are celebrities.'
I'd automatically be thinking "The Birds: Part II".
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Visit my husband's webcomic DUNGEON HORDES at http://www.drunkduck.com/dungeon_hordes
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