Fanny Confirms The Obvious

August 1, 2011 / Posted by:

When pictures of Fantasia with a swole gut full of something came out last month, she tried to say that she was putting the chunk on her body to play Mahalia Jackson in a biopic. Well, you can officially add the “I’m playing Mahalia Jackson in a biopic” excuse to your list of “what to tell nosy hos when your fetus sack is starting to grow.” Because at a charity concert for the opening of an apartment complex in Jacksonville, FL yesterday, Fanny announced that she’s got a God-given baby in her womb.

You know what perfect is? Perfect is Fanny announcing at the opening of an apartment complex in Florida that the married dick she met at a T-Mobile store knocked her up. Throw in two audience members bitch fighting over a few complimentary pens and you’ve got my kind of pregnancy announcement! Really, you almost expect Tyler Perry to come out on stage and take a bow for writing this mess.

YBF has a video (click here to see that mess) of Fanny conjuring up a whole lot of shaking heads and eye rolls when she stopped the open house festivities to say:

For a while I walked around figuring out what will they say and what will they think about me. But now I tell you I don’t live my life for folk.

This child that I am carrying…… God has given me this child. And I don’t have to hide it from none of y’all.

Fanny hasn’t said who the father is, but you really don’t need Maury to tell you that the seed that made her fetus came from Antwaun Cook. Fanny was knocked up with Antwaun’s baby last year, but she had an abortion after she tried offing herself because his wife sued her for wrecking their home.

My favorite part is Fanny saying that God gifted her with that child. Listen, bitch, just because that dick makes you cum halos and holler so loud that it makes the angels’ clits quiver doesn’t give you the right to call Antwaun’s peen “God.” God is washing his hands (with spermicide) of this. Something that Antwaun should’ve done to his rubber-covered dick before he went balls deep.

And I think I speak for all of us when I say that our feelings about this Not Going To End Well shit are best expressed through the eloquent words of Aunt Bunny:

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