Jill Zarin Is Judging You, Duchess Kate

July 30, 2011 / Posted by:

At the beginning of last season’s The Real Housewhiners of New York, Jill Zarin nearly OY VEY-ed herself into a puddle of neurotic frustration when both Ramona and Alex showed up to a wedding wearing shades of cream. According to Jill, the wedding etiquette she pulled out of her own ass states that guests should never ever EVER ever wear anything in the white family. It is forbidden by law or some shit. (Question for Jill: But I’ve been to some weddings where the bride wore jorts, flip flops and an “I’m Marrying Stupid” t-shirt. Does this mean I can’t wear jorts and flip flops too? Does this mean I can wear a white wedding gown and veil? Please advise.)

Well, guess who broke the law according to Jill Zarin when she showed up to the wedding of Prince Willy and Hot Ginge’s cousin in head-to-toe cream? Okay, it’s more like the color of leche con a drop of cafe (or like the color of a post-butt sex condom), but still!

Not only did Kate steal all of the attention away from Zara Phillips by wearing an embroidered corn tortilla coat, but not one guest at the wedding could concentrate on the ceremony. They were all too busy trying to fight the craving for thin crust pizza dough, a round tamale and a poorly made Awesome Blossom while staring at the mess on Kate’s head. Making it all about you: Duchess Kate knows how to do it.

And now, instead of wanting to talk about Zara’s dress, I want to nibble on an Awesome Blossom wrapped in pizza dough. Kate is good.

Here’s a few more pictures from this morning’s latest royal hat convention. In order: Duchess Kate with Prince William, Zara with her new husband Mike Tindall, THE QUEEN with her pocketbook, Prince Hot Ginge, Prince Charles, Princess Bea and the Duchess of Cornbread with some Wind of the Willows shit on her head.

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