How Are We Living In A World Where Soulja Boy Has $55 Million To Spend On A Private Jet?

July 29, 2011 / Posted by:

According to Celebrity Net Worth, selling albums and collecting residuals for playing the title role in Troll has earned Soulja Boy (Google it, you dumb fuck) a net worth of $23 million. $23 million is $23 million, but it’s still $32 million away from $55 million. TMZ claims that Soulja Boy dropped $55 million of his own money on a G5 jet. Financing a $55 million jet when you only have $23 million is one of way turning to the last page in Chapter 10.

Soulja Boy’s management, who should really reserve the domain for future use, says that the private jet cost $35 million. Soulja Boy spent another $20 million on a new bathroom, custom leather seats, travertine floors, flat screen TVs and a paint job that includes his stupid ass logo on the side. The living ghost of MC Hammer’s past bought it as a 21st birthday present to himself.

Is there such a thing as time sharing a private jet? You know, you pay for a small piece of it and every time you fly it a salesperson makes you sit through a 4-hour breakfast where they try to sell you an even bigger piece? Because we all know that gremlin leprechaun’s pot of gold isn’t that big. I guess we’ll never know how he paid for that mess.

Actually, you can ask Soulja Boy that question in 5 years when you’re sitting next to him on a Southwest flight to Sacramento, where he’ll perform at the opening of a third party cell phone store on a makeshift stage made of upside down garbage cans and plywood. I shouldn’t hate. I’m just jealous, because that G5 jet is going to make a perfect backyard planter when Soulja Boy can’t afford to fly it anymore.

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