Hot Slut Of The Day!

July 29, 2011 / Posted by:

Bert Keeler from Project Runway

Last night was the return of Project Runway and Tim Gunn was Tim Gunn, Michael Kors was Michael Kors, Heidi Klum brought a little more of the crazy (Like she’s been marinating in a reality show shell way too long… Like a Tyra Banks brain knob wrapped in schnitzel crumbs…) and Neeeeeeena Garcia seemed equal parts tired, over it and slightly medicated. It’s like Neeeena just spent 12 hours in her trailer birthing out gigantic lude pill that she chewed on right before a production assistant dragged her out to judge a bunch of dreadful bed sheet dresses.

And then there was the contestants. It was your usual weepy ass story after weepy ass story. One dude is colorblind (More like truthblind. LIAR!!!!) and some other chick from Trinidad & Tobago only learned how to sew four months ago (More like learned how to LIE her island ass four months ago!).

But then there was Bert! Oh, Bert. Bert has been out of the fashion game for years, because he slid down into the bottom of a Jack Daniels bottle after his partner and two friends died of AIDS in the 90s. Bert worked for Halston back in the coke and Liza days, and now he has returned. My favorite thing about Bert is that by looking at him, you wouldn’t think that he knows his way around a Jo-Ann. Bert is a pink purse away from looking exactly like an uncomfortable father waiting for his daughter outside of a Forever 21 dressing room. I even love Bert’s fugly pasta shoes, which would look a lot better slathered in marinara sauce with a basket of endless breadsticks on the side. Anyways, GO BERT! Stomp all over those LYING baby bitches with your Barilla shoes!

SHARE
Our commenting rules are pretty simple: If you make any overly offensive comment (racist, bigoted, etc..) or go way off topic when not in an Open Post, your comments will be deleted and you will be banned. If you see an offensive or spammy comment you think should be deleted, flag it for the mods and they'll be forever grateful and give you their first born (although, you probably don't want that).

src="https://c.statcounter.com/922697/0/f674ac4a/1/"
alt="drupal analytics" >