Taylor Armstrong of The Real Horsemouths of Beverly Hills filed papers earlier this month to legally quit her creepy husband of 6 years Russell Armstrong and she’s telling People one of the reasons why she chose to do. It wasn’t because Russell’s checking account is as dead as the feeling in her lips. It also wasn’t because the ghost of her creator Wayland Flowers is pulling her strings away from Russell’s gross ass. Taylor says it’s because their marriage made a sharp turn onto Ike Turner Road.
When I knew the filing had gone through, I just started to cry. We tried hard to fix our marriage, but it wasn’t healthy. I hope we can co-parent as healthy as possible,” she says, adding she’d like joint custody. He’s an amazing dad, and I want her to still think her dad is the greatest guy on the planet.
I think I hurt for my daughter more than I do for myself. It feels like a big loss that she’s not going to grow up with both of her parents in the same house.”
According to Taylor, Russell cursed her out, shoved her, pushed her and pulled at her hair during fights. Russell admits to pushing Taylor around, but blames it on Bravo.
“Did I push her? Yes, maybe things happened in the heat of the moment, but it was during a time in our lives that was not characteristic of who we were. This show has literally pushed us to the limit.”
Literally pushed them? I wish the show would somehow grow silicone arms and push both of their asses off and over the limit.
Taylor always spits out collagen-covered lies, but I still believe her lying ass. Russell is just a bag of gross who probably has chronic coffee breath and doesn’t make one sound when he cums (that’s the worst). He probably trolls Craigslist looking for phone fucking dates, but when he finally gets one he just breathes really heavy and asks you to talk about what kind of shampoo you use. Yes, I’m speaking from experience.
My favorite part is when Taylor says that she hopes her daughter will forever think that her dad is the greatest living man ever. Yeah, I’m sure that when her daughter gets older and brings up this interview on microfiche (it’s going to make a big comeback, okay?) in the school computer lab, she’s going to happy sigh in her heart after reading that her dad yanked at her mom’s weave. I know I would. And then I’d show my mother the “how to get out of an abusive relationship” instructional video titled Sleeping with the Enemy.