Spaz de la Huerta Is Victorious (Not Really)

July 28, 2011 / Posted by:

My favorite delusional bronzer-ed mess of the moment Spaz de la Huerta was booked by the police back in March after she laid a punch down on The City’s Samantha Swerta during a fight over the latter’s man at some hotel in NYC. Spaz, who’s about as melodramatic as Norma Desmond’s dry queef, said at the time that Samantha is an attention whoring reality piece of trash and she’s a REAL actress on HBO! Well, the REAL actress was in a Manhattan court room this morning and pleaded guilty to uno count of second-degree harassment.

So what’s Spaz’s punishment for admitting to fisting a trick in the face? Not much, actually. E! News says that it’s a violation and a not crime. This is because Spaz is on HBO! If she was on FX, she’d be gassed. Or they’d order her to keep her nipples covered up for the next 12 months, which would pretty much destroy Spaz the same way gassing her would. Spaz breathes in oxygen through her nipple holes so she’d die if they weren’t out in the air.

Anyway, Spaz was given one day of community service and has to complete a 10-week-long alcohol treatment program. Spaz also has to stay away from Samantha until further notice. Samantha’s lawyer says that she’s planning to sue Spaz since she’s still having trouble breathing from getting her nose bone busted.

So what if the community is going to suffer from being served by Spaz and the instructors at that alcohol treatment program will dive off the wagon after dealing with her insane ass, she’s free! It’s not only a victory for the spray painted corpse that is Spaz! It’s also a victory for crazy!

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