Spaz de la Huerta Is Victorious (Not Really)
My favorite delusional bronzer-ed mess of the moment Spaz de la Huerta was booked by the police back in March after she laid a punch down on The City's Samantha Swerta during a fight over the latter's man at some hotel in NYC. Spaz, who's about as melodramatic as Norma Desmond's dry queef, said at the time that Samantha is an attention whoring reality piece of trash and she's a REAL actress on HBO! Well, the REAL actress was in a Manhattan court room this morning and pleaded guilty to uno count of second-degree harassment.
So what's Spaz's punishment for admitting to fisting a trick in the face? Not much, actually. E! News says that it's a violation and a not crime. This is because Spaz is on HBO! If she was on FX, she'd be gassed. Or they'd order her to keep her nipples covered up for the next 12 months, which would pretty much destroy Spaz the same way gassing her would. Spaz breathes in oxygen through her nipple holes so she'd die if they weren't out in the air.
Anyway, Spaz was given one day of community service and has to complete a 10-week-long alcohol treatment program. Spaz also has to stay away from Samantha until further notice. Samantha's lawyer says that she's planning to sue Spaz since she's still having trouble breathing from getting her nose bone busted.
So what if the community is going to suffer from being served by Spaz and the instructors at that alcohol treatment program will dive off the wagon after dealing with her insane ass, she's free! It's not only a victory for the spray painted corpse that is Spaz! It's also a victory for crazy!
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ugh this butterface again?
Not doing anything about her eye situation isn't working. Her eyes are too small and her face is too long to pull it off. I can get away with it because I have a small face and a natural fringe of dark eyelashes (I'm hot like that) - but ol' Spaz here ... no. What she's not doing makes her look odd and horrible. Knock it off, Spaz.
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As useless as a saggy pair of tits
Submitted by gines on Thu, 07/28/2011 - 5:46pm.
Is this nutty bitch even a good actress? I don't get HBO unfortunately.
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She's awful. But somehow it works for the character she plays (a creepy, bitchy, whory gold-digger whose only redeeming qualilties are her perfect body and love of being naked).
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*tosses a bag of hot dicks into Jeanneee's trough* BON APPETIT BITCH! - Raul Duke, 1/26/11
Why does she look like she stuck her head in the tanning bed/booth and only her head?
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I refreshed the page and my PENIS WAS GONE! -- SugarFreeRedBull, MicroPenis Advocate
Hmmm maybe crack would help Spaz's anger issues. Give it a try, Spaz!
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What kind of fuckery is this?
I reckon eyeliner just slips right off Paz's greasy face. It's weird because it's usually very fair people or ginges that have no eyelashes/eyebrows etc.
If I was her I'd get it tatooed on, maybe a little less freakishly than Michael Jacksons.
This Paz woman is one of the ugliest looking people I've seen. What idiot decided it was okay to have her on TV? Her face is like a Picasso painting, only less appealing.
Kill it with fire.
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If you wanna be in black and white, black and white's gotta be IN YOU!
Submitted by tonicbitch on Thu, 07/28/2011 - 7:48pm.
I am on google image search page 15 and I've yet to find a decent photo of this trick with eye makeup on.
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Thank you! Every time I see a pic of her, I always wonder what she has against eye makeup. But even eye makeup cannot save her.
It's splitting hairs, but if you're sentenced to anything, it's a crime. She may also have been ordered to stay away from the victim.
They should require her to submit to alcohol monitoring. That would kill her.
Submitted by tonicbitch on Thu, 07/28/2011 - 7:48pm.
I am on google image search page 15 and I've yet to find a decent photo of this trick with eye makeup on. Does she wear makeup on the show? I bet she'd look like a whole other person. The photos where she is actually smiling, I barely recognized her.
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here's one of her on the show, with eye makeup and lo/behold lashes. still ugly though.
http://img.poptower.com/pic-31842/paz-de-la-huerta.jpg?d=600
junkie old man fucker
xoxox
The war isn't working.
Submitted by becky n sydney on Thu, 07/28/2011 - 7:52pm.
That is HILARIOUS. I'd love to be her Scorpio rehab counselor. Girl's crazy and her ugly ass lips bug the hell out of me. Those poses - she's worse than a teenager in front of the bathroom mirror with a camera.
I think she and Keshit are kindred spirits with Pig Pen.
Thank you - I've missed a lot of my D-listed buddies. :-)
Hmmm, perhaps Paz only beats on folks who have last names that rhyme with her own? So not that many people would be in danger, really.
Court-mandated alcohol abuse program for Paz? Smells just like FAIL.
Is there such a thing as court-mandated mascara and eyeliner? 'Cause I think that's needed here too.
Her eyes are weird, where are her eyelashes? Did she pluck all of them in drunken stupor or something?
Submitted by LaChaylo on Thu, 07/28/2011 - 7:48pm.
Spaz has an irrational hatred of Scorpios, apparently they're the root of her extensive collection of neuroses. The dimwit.
Lovely to see you posting again, LaChaylo!! :)
I am on google image search page 15 and I've yet to find a decent photo of this trick with eye makeup on. Does she wear makeup on the show? I bet she'd look like a whole other person. The photos where she is actually smiling, I barely recognized her.
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"I'd rather regret the things I've done than regret the things I haven't done." -Lucille Ball-sy
Submitted by becky n sydney on Thu, 07/28/2011 - 5:31pm.
Hope the person in charge of the alcohol treatment program is a hateful Scorpio.
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My dear becky, you may have just found me a new career - rehab counselor to the celebutards!
Submitted by Manimal5 on Thu, 07/28/2011 - 7:29pm.
Oh that's right...how do you make a hormone?
You punch her in the stomach. GUILTY!
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hahahahaha
OT: those beady eyes scare me
Thosev piss holes in the snow could stand a little mascara.
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What is most important is the truth, which is always art, as lies, on the other hand never are..~Maro Vargas Llosa
Oh that's right...how do you make a hormone?
You punch her in the stomach. GUILTY!
I have NO idea who this bitch is and yet, I hate her.
Submitted by howdareyou on Thu, 07/28/2011 - 6:12pm.
To look at these photos, she's had some work done (I can't figure out just what, she just looks different), but I think she looked better before.
Definitely her nose, possibly had her chin done, too.
why is she bronzer-ed on just the front of her body?
oh that's right, this girl's always on her back.
Look...someone has to play the whore and she's seems pretty good at it.
Submitted by gines on Thu, 07/28/2011 - 5:46pm.
Is this nutty bitch even a good actress? I don't get HBO unfortunately.
She's about as good an actress as she is a natural beauty and a fashion icon - in other words, horrible. Her line readings on Boardwalk Empire gave new meaning to the word flat.
Sent from my iPhone
I think she had her nose done.
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Dale Doback: Okay, here's the shot out of the cannon: Oprah, Barbara Walters, your wife. You gotta fuck one, marry one, kill one, go!
Submitted by howdareyou on Thu, 07/28/2011 - 6:12pm.
To look at these photos, she's had some work done (I can't figure out just what, she just looks different), but I think she looked better before.
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You're absolutely right! I think the nose for sure! Also, her lips don't look the same. She's fug before or after.
Sounds like she was her usual attention whoring self at the courthouse...she whipped out some lotion and started slathering it on her bare legs in the courtroom...
http://www.nypost.com/p/news/local/actress_aims_to_finalize_plea_deal_9M...
ETA: oops I guess it wasn't IN the courthouse just the lobby but still
Submitted by MissJaneTexas on Thu, 07/28/2011 - 6:14pm.
Submitted by mike on Thu, 07/28/2011 - 6:00pm.
Agreed and recently it has just gotten sorta offensive (and that's saying a lot) and I don't get offended easily. Ha.
My fav episode is the one where the British guys buy the drunken clam. Hilarious.
haha
Trisha Takanawa, standing amid the debris of a torched English pub: For many, this charred portrait of Elizabeth II gives poignant new meaning to the phrase, "Hey, check out that flaming queen."
Submitted by mike on Thu, 07/28/2011 - 6:00pm.
Agreed and recently it has just gotten sorta offensive (and that's saying a lot) and I don't get offended easily. Ha.
My fav episode is the one where the British guys buy the drunken clam. Hilarious.
Ontopic: meh.
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Take a bow, freak. Jack-n-the-hat 10-5-2009
For what purpose was this created? A goddamn project for whore school? Sophie_003 10-6-2009
To look at these photos, she's had some work done (I can't figure out just what, she just looks different), but I think she looked better before.
I thought her withought the clown lipstick would be an improvement, boy was I dead wrong.
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What would Jesus do for a Klondike Bar?
Submitted by MissJaneTexas on Thu, 07/28/2011 - 5:51pm.
Submitted by mike on Thu, 07/28/2011 - 5:46pm
Hahaha. I love that episode. Where they re-enacting the civil war and the South winning..hilarious.
The little girl who drawls to Meg, "My daughter would absolutely love you" was voiced by Dakota Fanning.
Seasons 2 and 3 of Family Guy were awesome. It sucks that the show's never been that good since it was brought back.
Submitted by mike on Thu, 07/28/2011 - 5:46pm
Hahaha. I love that episode. Where they re-enacting the civil war and the South winning..hilarious.
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Take a bow, freak. Jack-n-the-hat 10-5-2009
For what purpose was this created? A goddamn project for whore school? Sophie_003 10-6-2009
LOLOLOLOLOLOL!@mike!
♥ Threadkilla!
RIP, Amy: Sep14,1983 to Jul23,2011
http://youtu.be/Con6WaimJ6c
Submitted by angel_i on Thu, 07/28/2011 - 5:42pm.
LOL@ ïf she was on FX she'd be gassed. So wrong. So right. LOL!
That reminds me of one of the funniest Family Guy scenes:
Chris Griffin: Where do you think you go when you die?
Southern boy: I learned from church that if you're good you go to heaven but if you're bad, you go to a place where the dead believe they're still living and they pray for death but death won't come.
Chris Griffin: UPN?
Is this nutty bitch even a good actress? I don't get HBO unfortunately.
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you seem spritely.
watch me rant: http://www.youtube.com/user/gineriella
I didn't know that she and Ellen had split.
Hahaha i just googled her because each time i come here there's a post about her and i have never heard about her. Wiki says actress and model. She has a long ass name but goes by paz de la huerta.
'We are responsible for what we do unless we are celebrities.'
LOL@ ïf she was on FX she'd be gassed. So wrong. So right. LOL!
♥ Threadkilla!
RIP, Amy: Sep14,1983 to Jul23,2011
http://youtu.be/Con6WaimJ6c
Submitted by Crystal Lynn on Thu, 07/28/2011 - 5:31pm.
For people who keep on asking who she is - she is on Boardwalk Empire which was just nominated for an Emmy. She plays a very bit part in it though and when she's on screen she's naked and fucking.
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LOL
and don't forget her HUGE black bush...so appropriate to the times portrayed on that show.
This trick is everywhere nowadays...she doesn't even miss the opening of a beer can...yet you don't see any of the principal actresses of the show famewhoring like her and giving statements.
"Let them measure my anus and see if it is dilated" - Father Andrés
For people who keep on asking who she is - she is on Boardwalk Empire which was just nominated for an Emmy. She plays a very bit part in it though and when she's on screen she's naked and fucking.
Hope the person in charge of the alcohol treatment program is a hateful Scorpio.
And makes a point of telling Spaz the date of his/her birthday.
Frequently.
I can't find what anybody would see in this tricked out mess. She looks like a 70's reject with the heavy blush, perennial dark lips and greasy face. She looks like she smells, too! Soap and water could actually be good for you, Paz!
She actually looks good in that pic. I find her entertaining. I also like her minimal (or no?) eye makeup.
Who IS this whore? Why is she famous? Why does anyone care? She is gross. I saw hotter women at Walmart today.