Rohan Marley Is Not The Father Of Lauryn Hill's Sixth Child
Pretty sure she's birthing out her seventh in the picture above. Just slide a basket under there and when she's finished, tell her ass that you'll wait there until she finally births out a new album. You can re-use the basket.
Lauryn Hill's vagina felt the no-so-familiar feeling of being torn open by a fat baby head for the sixth time earlier this week. There was a complication with the birth of Lauryn's unnamed son (I really hope that crazy named him Unnamed Son) due to his umbilical cord nearly chocking him out, but now he's doing fine. Some things that are not doing fine are Lauryn's nerves.
Last month, Rohan Marley, the father of Lauryn's five other kids, excused his dick from being blamed for knocking her up again. There were also rumors Rohan dropped a knocked up Lauryn for Brazilian model Isabeli Fontanta. Lauryn is now putting a finger to the mouths of gossip talking bitches and is basically confirming that Rohan isn't the father. Lauryn posted this on Twitter last night.
Mr. Marley and I have a long and complex history about which MANY inaccuracies have been reported since the beginning. To speculate without the facts can only cause people to form WRONG conclusions. We both value privacy and for that reason defend and preserve our right to it. Contrary to numerous reports, Mr. Marley did not abandon me while pregnant with his child. We have had long periods of separation over the years but our 5 children together remain a joy to both of us. Thank you for you concern and I appreciate all the well wishes regarding the birth of my new son.
So that's that. Lauryn has added a second baby father to her stud farm and Rohan's hands will be busy writing huge child support checks every month. Glad we could clear that up. Now can Lauryn please throw a WILL BE BACK sign over her overworked womb and sing that statement out over the sound of clapping hands (or something) so we have something new from her to listen to? Less birthing, more singing.
via Washington Post
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Submitted by MIRROR BORE on Thu, 07/28/2011 - 1:06am.
When was this bitch relevant?
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Fugees 1996 - ready or not, fu gee la, killing me softly.
Submitted by MIRROR BORE on Thu, 07/28/2011 - 1:06am.
Are you not American (serious question?) Not that it should matter...Lauryn Hill is part of two of the arguably greatest hip hop albums (The Score by The Fugees and The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill). Each won some Grammys and made Lauryn Hill very famous in the late 90s. If you were in diapers when these albums came out well then you'd be at most 14 now.
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Take a bow, freak. Jack-n-the-hat 10-5-2009
For what purpose was this created? A goddamn project for whore school? Sophie_003 10-6-2009
i fuking hate lauryn hill
shit
shit
shit
shit
☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺
♦ When all else fails, they call me.
♦ Life sucks. Shit Happens. I'm a student of t-shirts.
She should have heeded her own damn words of wisdom and listened to Doo Wop on repeat:
"It's been three weeks since you've been looking for your friend
The one you let hit it and never called you again
'Member when he told you he was 'bout the Benjamins
You act like you ain't hear him then gave him a little trim
To begin, how you think you really gon' pretend
Like you wasn't down then you called him again
Plus when you give it up so easy you ain't even fooling him
If you did it then, then you probably f*** again"
Looks like miss J from top model... DoubleWTF
It looks like she's about to give Alien throat birth to a mutant tapeworm placenta out of her puffed up frog neck in this photo.
When was this bitch relevant? Seriously I Haven't a clue. For all I know, I may have been running around in diapers when this skank was IT.
After having given birth six times you barely know you're alive, so she probably doesn't give a toss about the origins of her latest dropping.
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Who are you calling silly cow?
Have we discussed what in 300 thread count sheet hell she's wearing?
Some of us invest for retirement in IRAs and 401(k)s. Lauryn Hill has five kids with the son of the biggest reggae star who ever lived.
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Why didn't the rest of us think of this???
Submitted by Bunny Rabbit on Wed, 07/27/2011 - 8:26pm.
That sounds very logical. The uterus loses elasticity with every pregnancy, as does the rest of one's body.
I suspect, as with all womens' bizness, it varies from womb to womb.
I had a GF with 6 kids who said she was rolling on the floor in agony after her last bub.
I'm sure there are others who feel only minimal discomfort. :/
Submitted by becky n sydney on Wed, 07/27/2011 - 7:22pm.
I always wonder about the afterbirth pains from having so many babies. For those who are unaware, the uterus continues to contract after birth to control any bleeding. The associated cramps compound with each successive birth.
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I've heard that the uterus kinda gives up after child #5, so it may not hurt as much as child #3. It's so stretched that cramps can only do so much. I think that's why women have a higher maternal mortality rate after child #5...not enough contracture to control bleeding.
I saw Lauryn (in person shopping for Modern furniture in ABC Carpet and home, about 1 year ago. She looked like she weighs 70 pound. He body was shapeless and drawn looking. She had a distended belly , no breasts, no ass, etc. She had on a raggedy used 1980's ugly sweater and gross washed out saggy in the ass 1980's ill fitting jeans. She also had on a brown mans hat and her hair was undone. she looked absolutely horrible, and insane. Who in their right mind would lay up in a bed with this woman?
I feel so anxious for her children. Because of her mental condition, she needs to have the least amount of stress in her life as possible. She definitely doesn't need another baby!
@ Becky. So true. I had natural births with both of mine and the second one was the most painful shit i have ever experienced. And once he finally was out, the pain just kept on coming every time i tried to nurse him. Can only imagine how bad that shit is after 6. Or 19. *shudder*
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"I also have felt the nose heat of the man meat."
SFRB, 04/26/11
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http://www.youtube.com/user/beeper246#p/a/u/2/BrO86m4qAEs
Sillykat: She said "our 5 children together." She now has 6 kids. MK got it right.
Her PR just worded the one line awkwardly.
I always wonder about the afterbirth pains from having so many babies. For those who are unaware, the uterus continues to contract after birth to control any bleeding. The associated cramps compound with each successive birth.
I've had three kids, and by the third (postpartum) I was experiencing waves of excruciating agony that far surpassed my earlier labor pains. I didn't enjoy any meds while birthing number three (despite it being a dry birth), but I demanded a shitload afterwards.
That Duggar bitch must be numb downstairs, or on some serious scripts. (Which would go a long way to explain the polyester bangs of death.)
Lauryn's just a nutter.
@RustyHooligan
Your PR fix is good...except that she never said that he's not the father of the child.
She said "Mr. Marley did not abandon me while pregnant with his child"
He is the father of the child, he just didn't abandon her...some other not right shit happened but the baby is his.
Submitted by TelevisedRevolution on Wed, 07/27/2011 - 2:33pm.
Who knows what the hell is going on in their family life? If the kids are happy and she doesn't go on to have 12 more babies and a reality show, I say "move along, people, ain't nothing to see here."
None of you know what's going on in Lauryn Hill's heart, and last I heard she could still sing circles around most people out there today. Cut the woman some slack.
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We can talk shit cause this is Dlisted Dammit!!!
********* SAVE A LIFE. ADOPT A PET *********
Let me fix up the sloppy PR English:
"Rohan Marley is not the father of my latest lovely child. And he has never abandoned me or our children, including while I was pregnant." (The second sentence may be stretching things, but you say it for the sake of the children.)
Some of us invest for retirement in IRAs and 401(k)s. Lauryn Hill has five kids with the son of the biggest reggae star who ever lived.
So the island dick spell is finally broken? Apparently she celebrated by letting some random knock her up. Oooh, that'll show Rohan, huh Lauryn??
Ummmm, yeah, no.
We both value privacy and for that reason defend and preserve our right to it
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See now the ONLY sensible thing to say after that is...SO MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS!
But no one ever says that. So bizarre.
♥ Threadkilla!
RIP, Amy: Sep14,1983 to Jul23,2011
http://youtu.be/Con6WaimJ6c
I love L-Boogie!
they are all gross
Forget about the paternity - sixth kid?!?!?
Submitted by MissJaneTexas on Wed, 07/27/2011 - 2:09pm.
Rohan Marley dickmatized her. She has always had issues messing with men who were taken but there was just something about Rohan. After she met him (he was married by the way) she went to crazy town and ran off her Fugees band mates. I think she has wasted her whole life trying to make this man love her...pretty sad.
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Island dick will do that to you!
"Mr. Marley did not abandon me while pregnant with his child."
Doesn't that mean the kid is his child? I'm confused.
Submitted by Nanners on Wed, 07/27/2011 - 1:59pm.
They tried to make me go to Planned Parenthood, I said NO NO NO!
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That's a perfect "Caption This!"
"my brows could subtract that WTF look on your face so move along"
Miss Lauren Hill has been educated the Kanye School of POMPOUS PRESS RELEASES, I see.
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Love is a war of lightning~Neruda
Submitted by MissJaneTexas on Wed, 07/27/2011 - 2:17pm.
right, exactly...that's why I can't believe she wouldn't have figured out dude was going to pump her and dump her no matter how many kids she had for him by around kid #2.
I dunno, I was the same age as she back when she was singing "That Thing" and I could tell after all that shit talking, she was going to crash and burn.
Who did she get to write that PR statement for her?
It always amazes me when celebrities who likely can barely make an X on a contract or calculate a 20% tip, issue these tight-ass public statements that sound like they were written with a quill pen by Miss Jean Brodie then proofread through a lorgnette by Letitia Baldridge. Fan-cy!
Who knows what the hell is going on in their family life? If the kids are happy and she doesn't go on to have 12 more babies and a reality show, I say "move along, people, ain't nothing to see here."
None of you know what's going on in Lauryn Hill's heart, and last I heard she could still sing circles around most people out there today. Cut the woman some slack.
Why the hell d some people breed and breed and breed like fucking cockroaches like it's the end of the world?. There is no need for us to do such atrocity since the planet is already overpopulated with the worse plague in history: us humans.
Men and women who breed to patch up whatever fucking mental issues they have really need their asses kicked.
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-"I am not about to deal with unstable people" - HEART ANGELINA.
Submitted by precociousmagpie on Wed, 07/27/2011 - 2:11pm.
"…Mr. Marley did not abandon me while pregnant with his child."
Well, where did the pregnant-with-his-child Mr. Marley go to, then?
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O she just forgot the end of the sentence:
"....I got a little slutty and this is another man's child..."
♥ Threadkilla!
RIP, Amy: Sep14,1983 to Jul23,2011
http://youtu.be/Con6WaimJ6c
Submitted by ditquoi on Wed, 07/27/2011 - 2:13pm.
Nah, it could explain them all. She probably thought he would settle down one day. And of course she is stupid...being stupid and trying to make someone love you aren't necessarily mutually exclusive.
I just find it funny that she used to sing and preach to women about being independent and warn us against "that thing"...and look at her now!
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Take a bow, freak. Jack-n-the-hat 10-5-2009
For what purpose was this created? A goddamn project for whore school? Sophie_003 10-6-2009
I remember when she was huge and my friend's mom named her new fraternal twins Lauryn and Hyll. What a moron.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Don't hit back, just keep thrusting. Make that transfer, bitch!- MK 7/26/11
MJT, that would explain the first baby...there's 5.
most folks who, you know, sing songs about "not being hard rocks when you really are a gem" would figure it out by, say, kid #2.
I'm thinking she's just stupid. it's ok...many people who are brilliant in their careers aren't so brilliant in matters of the heart.
Some women love being pregnant and having kids. But the problem I have with this is, after she took the train to crazytown, she moved back in with her mom in the house she bought for her mom. Her poor mother to see her chile crazy and popping out babies non-stop.
2ndly who would knock up a woman that already has 5 kids?
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Live like the bombshell I really am!!! RIP AMY. Hope u find the peace that eluded you in life.
whatever.
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"I haven't set fire to her since Thursday"-Paul Verlaine Total Eclipse
http://www.anunemployedcollegegrad.blogspot.com
"…Mr. Marley did not abandon me while pregnant with his child."
Well, where did the pregnant-with-his-child Mr. Marley go to, then?
Spare us the fake uppity classy breeding edumacation of Lauryn Hill routine, bitch. You still a ho.
"Mr. Marley..." let us stop right there.
Ummm, chicky, "Mr. Marley" is the father of your FIVE childruns. Are telling me that you are not on a first name basis with this motherfucker??!!
I call bullshit. Stop trying to church this shit up!
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Too bad she has NO clue how to hide the crazy and that shit backfired like creamed corn out the ass.-ISprainedMyUvula
Where’s Pras? Can he talk some sense into the other two Fugees? Can he tell them, “Wyclef, stop acting like you invented Hati. Lauryn, stop acting like you’re auditioning for Maury.”? He’s probably up to some weird shit, too, now that I think of it.
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Silly rabbit.
Rohan Marley dickmatized her. She has always had issues messing with men who were taken but there was just something about Rohan. After she met him (he was married by the way) she went to crazy town and ran off her Fugees band mates. I think she has wasted her whole life trying to make this man love her...pretty sad.
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Take a bow, freak. Jack-n-the-hat 10-5-2009
For what purpose was this created? A goddamn project for whore school? Sophie_003 10-6-2009
Ahhahaha Nanners!
Lol Nanners.
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Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sat, 06/11/2011 - 9:32am.
It's ok to be a redneck by the way.. just don't yell git 'er done because we all hate that.
Damn, those kids are gonna have to split the inheritance many ways when she checks out of the privacy please hall of fame.
Nail me to my car... then I'll tell you who you are...Joe The Lion
Who is she? It's a genuine question. I guess I could google her, but it's easier to ask.
Lauryn? birth control.
birth control? Lauryn.
now that that's out of the way...
Submitted by christine the hoff on Wed, 07/27/2011 - 2:02pm.
WTF I remember when she was being touted back in the day as the best thing since sliced bread then she vanished.
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Yeah, she had 5 kids...well, 6 now I guess. And I think she really gets teh BAD PPD. Cuz she acts crazy now and then. I get the feeling she's also kinda diva and hard to work with. And probably an antidisestablishmentarian.
♥ Threadkilla!
RIP, Amy: Sep14,1983 to Jul23,2011
http://youtu.be/Con6WaimJ6c
Family planning fail.
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"Let s/he who is without sin, cast the first Stoney."
Yeahhh!!!!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SGtWssdauME