Hot Slut Of The Day!

July 27, 2011 / Posted by:

Straight from the land of Phoebe Price comes the newest member of Alabama royalty: Ms. Alabama Nursing Home 2011! Yes, there’s such a thing as Ms. Alabama Nursing Home and 100-year-old Felma Schrimshire beat out over 70 fellow beauties for the crown (which is made of Benefiber crystals and can be dissolved in a glass of lukewarm water).

The judges chose Felma over all the other poised and primped memaws because she visits every single one of the residents at her nursing home each week to give them an “encouraging word” and because she can make a brat walk away from a second serving of sheet cake by throwing him a “….the hell do you think you’re doing” face.

Felma’s duty as Ms. Alabama Nursing Home will be to grace other nursing homes in the state with her royal goodness and to wave at hos in various parades.

Personally, I think Ms. Alabama Nursing Home’s duties should be not doing shit. She earned it. Send Felma’s runners-up out to do her duties while she nibbles on the butterscotch pudding packs they didn’t have time to eat for lunch because they had to go out and do her duties! Oh, well. I’m sure Felma will do a wonderful job while not giving a fuck. All hail our new Ms. ‘Bama Nursing Home!

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