Welcome To The Weddin' House

"Do you take Wiener Dog as your lawfully wedded wife?" are the words most of us wish we could hear on our wedding day and Caroline "Not The Model One" Murphy is the lucky bitch whose ears will be tickled by those words in the near future. Heather Matarazzo of Welcome to the Dollhouse tells Associated Press that her girlfriend of a long ass time took her aside and said to her, " Yo, Wiener, you better get ready, 'cause at three o'clock today, I'm gonna WED you!"

They're engaged! Heather put the happy news like this:

"My eyes and spirit have opened up since I found someone that I get to share my life with. I don't believe that I've found my other half. That would mean I was thinking of myself as incomplete."

Heather and Caroline, who looks like she could've been Becky #3 if Roseanne needed another one, are planning a wedding in New York for this fall. There's gonna be Ring Dings, Pop Tarts, Jello-O, whatever and Steve Rogers will sing a re-worked version of this at the reception:

Posted by: Michael K

•

Gayelles • Weddings

Submitted by vernongye on Tue, 11/29/2011 - 10:18am.

you could have a great blog here! would you prefer to make some invite posts on my blog?
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Submitted by dfanintheD on Wed, 07/27/2011 - 11:54am.

Good-looking couple. Congrats to the two of them!

Submitted by A.cotw on Tue, 07/26/2011 - 9:15pm.

"Do you want to see my fingers?"

Submitted by Callie on Tue, 07/26/2011 - 8:35pm.

I just realized that the guy who plays Steve Rodgers, her older crush, in Welcome to the Dollhouse is the boss on Ugly Betty.

Congrats Heather, I'm glad you've found love.

Submitted by SugarFreeRedBull on Tue, 07/26/2011 - 8:25pm.

Heather SUCKED as DJ's love interest. She. Sucked. But I hope she's happy. Ill never forget, "are you gonna rape me now?"

Submitted by Whatever on Tue, 07/26/2011 - 8:18pm.

Rumor has it she and Anne Hathaway used to bump uglies.

Submitted by Rubygirl214 on Tue, 07/26/2011 - 8:16pm.

Damn, Heather grew up to be quite pretty!!! I've always loved her, and am really happy for her :)

Submitted by colt13 on Tue, 07/26/2011 - 7:59pm.

Heather was good in Sorority Boys. Played a coed with an annoying voice.

Submitted by Hekki on Tue, 07/26/2011 - 4:41pm.

Oh, and mazel tov to Heather and Caroline. I was testing out my theory that it's mostly older gay people getting married now in NYC, but there are some younguns doing it. I must say that the oldsters make me all misty-eyed. The ones who have been together for 35 years and shit.

Submitted by Hekki on Tue, 07/26/2011 - 4:39pm.

M.E.: "Welcome To The Dollhouse" is WAY better than "Napoleon Dynamite". And I loved "Napoleon Dynamite".

It is fucking hilarious and disturbing and heartbreaking and uncomfortable. You HAVE to see it.

Submitted by Oyster on Tue, 07/26/2011 - 3:15pm.

I was the same age as the Wiener Dog when the film came out, and still own the crappy VHS I used to tape it off of IFC. I related to her - a young Long Island girl with glasses and braces who had yet to get finger fucked and my mom still picked out my clothes. I vowed to put all my best efforts to not becoming/remaining like Dawn Wiener. A year later I was heavy into drugs, sex and punk rock. I guess I became more like that asshole who watched her take a shit, but I still make the effort to befriend the Wiener Dogs of the world to protect them from creeps.

Submitted by electrique on Tue, 07/26/2011 - 2:10pm.

Submitted by angel_i on Tue, 07/26/2011 - 11:28am.

Aw now that's sweet! I always loved the Weiner Dog.
And I was really sad when they sliced her up in the Hostel movie. That's the last time I've seen her so it's especially nice, yaknow?

________

Right? I was like OMGAW THAT CRAZY BITCH IS BATHING IN DAWN'S BLOOD!!!

Submitted by Gweb on Tue, 07/26/2011 - 12:48pm.

That chick on the right is from the bloodbath scene in Hostel II, probably her best piece of acting considering she's a completely shitty actor.

Submitted by ss794 on Tue, 07/26/2011 - 12:34pm.

Why do so many lesbians wear tank-tops? Not trying to be mean, just curious.

Submitted by heathen on Tue, 07/26/2011 - 12:20pm.

Submitted by Belle du Jour on Tue, 07/26/2011 - 1:32pm.

I bet half y'all werent even born when this movie came out! (Meanwhile, I was in college...)
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So was I, Belle, so was I. {sigh}

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Youth ages, immaturity is outgrown, ignorance can be educated, and drunkenness sobered, but stupid lasts forever.
— Aristophanes

Submitted by BoxerDog on Tue, 07/26/2011 - 12:14pm.

"we fingered fucked, once, last summer"
guess weiner dog does more.......

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We've got bush, we've, got, bush!!!

Submitted by Belle du Jour on Tue, 07/26/2011 - 12:02pm.

I bet half y'all werent even born when this movie came out! (Meanwhile, I was in college...)

Shit, I'm old.

Submitted by saltydog88 on Tue, 07/26/2011 - 11:47am.

" I don't believe that I've found my other half. That would mean I was thinking of myself as incomplete"

I agree with the sentiment, but isn't your wedding announcement a weird time to say that? She could have just stopped with "somebody to share my life with"

Submitted by christine the hoff on Tue, 07/26/2011 - 11:27am.

I mangaed thirty seconds of that song, now my fucking ears are bleeding..

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Oh God ,why don't you go sit under a rainbow and write a poem, Kyle.

Submitted by heathen on Tue, 07/26/2011 - 11:00am.

Submitted by M.E. on Tue, 07/26/2011 - 12:04pm.

I've never seen "Welcome to the Dollhouse" but I'm mildly curious now.

Please tell me it was far more entertaining than "Napoleon Dynamite".
-------------------------------
It's better than "Napoleon Dynamite" not as good as "Ghost World." IMO, of course.

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Youth ages, immaturity is outgrown, ignorance can be educated, and drunkenness sobered, but stupid lasts forever.
— Aristophanes

Submitted by JillTyrrell on Tue, 07/26/2011 - 10:57am.

I want to make love to suckandfuck.

Submitted by lifeislikecake on Tue, 07/26/2011 - 10:52am.

holy shit THAT'S Dawn Weinerrrr? I knew she was a lesbian, but I didnt know she was so pretty. Dawn Wiener has come a long way. One of my favorite movies.

Submitted by NOT IMPRESSED on Tue, 07/26/2011 - 10:51am.

The chick really does look like K-Fat's 3rd baby momma.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Douchechill!

Submitted by louise_brooks on Tue, 07/26/2011 - 10:38am.

She was also the girl who drew the horrible pig monster drawing of her teacher in The Devil's Advocate.

Submitted by M.E. on Tue, 07/26/2011 - 10:34am.

I've never seen "Welcome to the Dollhouse" but I'm mildly curious now.

Please tell me it was far more entertaining than "Napoleon Dynamite".

Submitted by P.T.Bull on Tue, 07/26/2011 - 10:28am.

I do not disagree with those who don't say that I am not incomplete. She really pours her heart into her words.

Two women getting married! I am so.... indifferent.

Submitted by penicillinlovesparis on Tue, 07/26/2011 - 10:25am.

Do you want to join my Special People Club? - Dawn
You know that 'Special' means retarded, right? Your club....is for retards. - Steve
oh. - Dawn

This was my FAVORITE movie when I was 10. Haha. I love Weiner Dog, and glad she has found someone to join her SP club.

Submitted by Stock Broker on Tue, 07/26/2011 - 10:12am.

Not a clue who they are & let's keep it that way please.

I'll kick in $1 for a Home Depot gift card.

_______________________________________________
"His faggy coffee shop poetry reading glasses will go over well in prison. I expect to see them on cumonglasses.com". ~ Dlister Provolone

Submitted by heathen on Tue, 07/26/2011 - 10:11am.

Submitted by Sams Mom on Tue, 07/26/2011 - 11:02am.

" I don't believe that I've found my other half. That would mean I was thinking of myself as incomplete."

WTF kinda annoyance is that?

---------------------------
I know, right? I *actually* do agree with the sentiment -- a person on her/his own is NOT "incomplete" (or at least shouldn't be if they have adequate self-esteem) BUT it isn't exactly something to be pointing out when you are announcing your engagement. I give the whole marriage 3 years, tops.

Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Tue, 07/26/2011 - 11:19am.

Jack -- The movie come out in the mid 90s & it was a small "art house" kind of movie -- black comedy about an unattractive/nerdy girl with inattentive parents, etc. I don't know your taste in movies, so I don't know if it is something you would like. I remember liking it at the time, but it definitely isn't for everyone.

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Youth ages, immaturity is outgrown, ignorance can be educated, and drunkenness sobered, but stupid lasts forever.
— Aristophanes

Submitted by Slurpee on Tue, 07/26/2011 - 10:09am.

I loved this movie. So weird, but so good!

Submitted by fishsticksfan on Tue, 07/26/2011 - 10:07am.

????????????????

Submitted by MissJaneTexas on Tue, 07/26/2011 - 10:06am.

*prays no one feeds the troll!*

Seriously where is my Lauryn Hill post!?

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Take a bow, freak. Jack-n-the-hat 10-5-2009

For what purpose was this created? A goddamn project for whore school? Sophie_003 10-6-2009

Submitted by stake_spike on Tue, 07/26/2011 - 10:04am.

Loved Welcome to the Dollhouse. The 90's and 80's really were the golden era of teen films.

Submitted by Green Tea Latte on Tue, 07/26/2011 - 10:00am.

Um WHOM? Yeah ok...congrats!

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Someone by the bar keeps looking at us dancing. I see him starring at me, I see what he wants be
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>:- (
Mr. Mercury ♥

Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Tue, 07/26/2011 - 10:00am.

*adjusts nerdy glasses*
*gets boner for no reason*
_____________________________________________
*paging Suzie Fuller*

Submitted by angel_i on Tue, 07/26/2011 - 9:59am.

But it looks like she stole K-Fat's girlfriend and that's kinda weird.

♥ Threadkilla!
RIP, Amy: Sep14,1983 to Jul23,2011
http://youtu.be/Con6WaimJ6c

Submitted by Thornhill on Tue, 07/26/2011 - 9:59am.

@jack...straight to DVD classic...can be found in the $1:00 bin at your local big lots store...

_____________________对您的和平_____________________
You simply cannot fathom the immensity of the f*ck I do not give..

Submitted by angel_i on Tue, 07/26/2011 - 9:58am.

Aw now that's sweet! I always loved the Weiner Dog.
And I was really sad when they sliced her up in the Hostel movie. That's the last time I've seen her so it's especially nice, yaknow?

♥ Threadkilla!
RIP, Amy: Sep14,1983 to Jul23,2011
http://youtu.be/Con6WaimJ6c

Submitted by Lady RedBush on Tue, 07/26/2011 - 9:58am.

Submitted by loopygorilla on Tue, 07/26/2011 - 11:24am.
OMG the princess' diaries bff is getting married!!!

HOLY SHIT!!!!!!

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Allez, venez, Milord!
Vous asseoir ma table;
Il fait si froid, dehors,
Ici c'est confortable

Submitted by Eddie Van Hilton on Tue, 07/26/2011 - 9:56am.

Yay for Heather and New York. Now if all the gays and lesbians who moved to California to turn it into their own private Sodom and Gomorrah will just go to New York to live happily everafter ---

And I can feel the hate coming 3...2...1...

Submitted by MissJaneTexas on Tue, 07/26/2011 - 9:56am.

Maybe she has had a little work done but she has definitely grown into her features. I think she looks really pretty here.

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Take a bow, freak. Jack-n-the-hat 10-5-2009

For what purpose was this created? A goddamn project for whore school? Sophie_003 10-6-2009

Submitted by Whamo on Tue, 07/26/2011 - 9:55am.

Thanks Provy, I forgot about that movie! It was a great movie if I remember correctly.

Submitted by loopygorilla on Tue, 07/26/2011 - 9:54am.

OMG the princess' diaries bff is getting married!!!

Submitted by Frank N. Beans on Tue, 07/26/2011 - 9:53am.

Never heard of either of these carpetmunchers.

Submitted by suckandfuck on Tue, 07/26/2011 - 9:53am.

Submitted by SpiceDong on Tue, 07/26/2011 - 11:22am.

But isn't that going to make your Dad jealous?

:-P
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NO HE'S A WEINER DOG

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Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.

Submitted by SpiceDong on Tue, 07/26/2011 - 9:52am.

Submitted by suckandfuck on Tue, 07/26/2011 - 11:19am.

YES I WOULD LIKE THAT PREFERABLY AT 3PM PLEASE ARE YOU OFFERING YOUR SERVICES (your answer: yes)
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But isn't that going to make your Dad jealous?

:-P

"Let them measure my anus and see if it is dilated" - Father Andrés

Submitted by parissucksliterally on Tue, 07/26/2011 - 9:52am.

jack, rent the movie. You'll love it. It is brilliant!

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And tomorrow we might not be together
I'm no prophet, I don't know natures way
So I'll try to see into your eyes right now
And stay right here, 'cause these are the good old days.
-Carly Simon

Submitted by snowpiece on Tue, 07/26/2011 - 9:52am.

LOL Jacko HAR DE HAR HAR, I have actually never seen the entire movie, since it's about nerds and they make me sick,;p but of course it touched Sucky in a very personal place...

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"Basically, Murlonio means "from Rob's ass" in Dumfuckanese." MK
"WE ARE THE TRIFECTA OF HATE ENTER THE TRIANGLE." Sucky 6/14/11

Submitted by PinkTransAm on Tue, 07/26/2011 - 9:51am.

Never seen Welcome To The Dollhouse, but loved her in Roseanne and All I Wanna Do. Her GF looks a little like Claire Danes

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Be kind to animals, or I'll kill you.