Tuesday, July 26th 2011
Birthday Sluts
Taylor Momsen (18)
Tamyra Gray (32)
Kate Beckinsale (38)
Chris Harrison (40)
Jeremy Piven (46)
Sandra Bullock (47)
Kevin Spacey (52)
Dorothy Hamill (55)
Roger Taylor of Queen (62)
Helen Mirren (66)
Mick Jagger (68)
Darlene Love (70)
Joe Jackson (82)
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Lots of great sluts today! HB to Sandra, Mr. Spacey (still love him), Dorothy, and Roger Taylor!
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"It's all fun and farts until somebody gets punched." -MK
Drop the two outliers (Momsen and Jackson) and you've got an amazing crop of BD sluts.
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If love had a dick I would eff with it. But it doesn't (it has a no crotch like Barbie).
Taylor Momsen is amazing. Reaching such a high level of complete hideousness in 18 short years is quite an accompishment. It took Courtney Love at least 20 years and Kurt Cobain's coattails to achieve such levels of repulsiveness. Happy Bday, Taylor.
Hope Sandy's day is cheered by the VG/KVD split!
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"Go away, woman. My cheating medicine will not help you. Even if you win you will still be ugly." ~~ Christopher Moore, Coyote Blue
Happy Birthday Momsen! She used to be my fav on Gossip Girl back when that show was worth watching in the first 2 seasons.
Also, loath to admit it, her band is kinda good
Hey... Taylor can legally buy cigarettes now.
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I guess it's best to end a relationship the same way you start it: absolutely fucking tanked. MK 6/11
All young girls should aspire to be like Taylor. Her accomplishments at such a young age prove she's a mature and dedicated young woman.
She's only 18? Average Death by OD is 27. We have nine more years of this bullshit.
http://smellmybutt.tumblr.com/
Woo-Hoo! Momsen's 18! Allow me to remove that tape for you. With my teeth.
Nothing but class, Momsen. Saints preserve us, she's 18 now ... RUN, crotch crabs, RUN! Scamper for your lives!!
Meanwhile, Mick Jagger outlived Amy Winehouse. And a lot of other people. So has Keith! Someone's got to take a blood sample from both of em, see if it's really there.
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As useless as a saggy pair of tits
What a lovely breast.
I suspect this will not be the last time we see them.
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*paging Suzie Fuller*
Submitted by Wonder Woman on Tue, 07/26/2011 - 9:01am.
Happy Birthday Kate!!!! you beautiful bitch, and she's my welsh crush michael sheen baby mama!!!
.......
It's hard to believe she has a 12-year-old kid.
Sheen has something special that draws in the ladees. I haven't seen him in much except The Queen, where he was brills. I mean to watch Frost/Nixon.
Hahahaha IV!! *throws my panties on the stage*
Momsen over Mick as lead birthday slut? you've gotta be kidding...
Happy Birthday Kate!!!! you beautiful bitch, and she's my welsh crush michael sheen baby mama!!!
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"low self esteem is a bitch"...
At first I thought it was Goopy- and the I noticed that her tit wasn't some kind of dried up apple-looking shit and though.. nope. Not Goopy.
Lol - she's only 18. Remember how stupid you were at 18?
*scampers naked into thread doing Jagger rooster dance, shaking bum at y'alls*
~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~
HB to Mick Jagger, showing bitches how it's done for 68 years!!
Kevin Spacey, HB, you hottie. I know he's gay, but he's sexy and talented as hell. That voice & those dimples!
*gives mushroom stamp of approval*
HB Roger Taylor
Submitted by Tinam on Tue, 07/26/2011 - 6:57am.
I guess Sandra got a karmic surprrise for her birthday. Jesse James and Kat Von D are no longer! Who'd a thunk it???
It's all fun and games until Wino gets to the gates of purgatory and slurs out, "HELLO, ATHENS!" ----MK
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Wonder where you heard that? LMFAO
Supposedly, she got a big old tattoo of him (as a kid) on her side. LLLLLLLOOOOOLLLLL'sssssss
Happy birthday SB. Hope there is cake with Louis!
Submitted by Tinam on Tue, 07/26/2011 - 6:57am.
Jesse James and Kat Von D are no longer!
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*pulls up chair, pours Tinam a cup of cawfee*
Tell me more...
"my brows could subtract that WTF look on your face so move along"
Happy birthday Mick Jagger!
Taylor Momsen, gah! The bass player for Rob Zombie tweeted a pic of himself posing with her like she was a legitimate singer or something. He is now DEAD TO ME
More Kate Beckinsale, less Emo Panda Loser Girl (aka Taylor Momsen)
HB Mick Jagger and Helen Mirren.
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""There is no chicken or egg. It's molecular." - Lady Gaga
Submitted by Tinam on Tue, 07/26/2011 - 6:57am.
Jesse James and Kat Von D are no longer!
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Aww. How sad. I was hoping they'd go out like Hitler and Eva.
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What kind of fuckery is this?
46? Time for Piven to grow up.
It would surprise me if Taylor Momsen ever did anything meaningful in music, acting, modeling, etc. Her best years are already behind her.
Nice, now Raul can look at the poor little zombie slut's cooter without fear of Chris Hansen showing up!
Submitted by Meatblocks on Mon, 06/27/2011 - 12:16pm.
suckandfuck and raul are like the goofus and gallant of sick humor.
the best.
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I'm not a living legend. I'm just a myth.
Taylor Momsen..great, I can bang her now!
Jeremy Piven..fucking king of the Douchebags
Sandra Bullock...great, I can bang her now!
Helen Mirren...She has to be the hottest Meemaw out there, and yes I would hit it in 3 seconds (uh sorry, that's never happened before, I'm so embarrased )
Mick Jagger..say what you will but Mick's the man!
Joe Jackson...he's the man too ( just not nearly as much as Sir Mick )
HB Slutty Slut Sluts
Happy Birfday to the fabulous Mick Jagger!!!
Submitted by GlitterKitty on Sat, 07/23/2011 -
Is playing a cunt on the internet as satisfying as wanking into your mum's nightie? Because something tells me you'd know all about that.
Eww Cindy Lou, put that Who tit away.
I guess Sandra got a karmic surprrise for her birthday. Jesse James and Kat Von D are no longer! Who'd a thunk it???
It's all fun and games until Wino gets to the gates of purgatory and slurs out, "HELLO, ATHENS!" ----MK
LOL!!! @ Stock Broker.
Team Orange Cone.
Elton John will perform at Amy Winehouse's funeral with a beautiful rendition of Candle Under The Spoon.
McDonalds have released the Amy Winehouse McValue Meal. Just Coke and Ice.
What was Amy Winehouse’s biggest hit? Her last one!
(you would've heard them at some stage, anyway...)
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"Oh, really? Did she like it?"
"I just love being a whore - you meet the most fascinating paint salesmen and curtain-rod manufacturers!"
To my eternal lust, Kate Beckinsale: Happy Barfday!
If I could be the meat in a Kate B & Charlize sammich....
Good Morning Dlisted boys & girls!
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"His faggy coffee shop poetry reading glasses will go over well in prison. I expect to see them on cumonglasses.com". ~ Dlister Provolone
She should have put the tape on our eyes instead.
*chanting as always*
Taylor Momsen is such a classy young lady.
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Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sat, 06/11/2011 - 9:32am.
It's ok to be a redneck by the way.. just don't yell git 'er done because we all hate that.
HB to "The Queen" Helen Mirren who is such a hoot in a couple French&Saunders skits. And presented them with their Lifetime BAFTA which prompted Jennifer to say in front of that audience "We want to do movies with you! Just the good ones, not the shit."
Maybe her mommy will buy her a bra and some age appropriate clothes for her burfday.
I see a road paved with Blohan in this kid's future.
now on to legit singers:
LOVE Darlene Love! HB It's not officially xmas without her rendition of Marshmallow World. Great lady..
Joe Jackson will live to be 100, the evil fuck.
Sandra is 47? Bitch seems perpetually 35 and looks fresher than Lilo.
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What kind of fuckery is this?
taylor momsen is officially old enough to do porn...legally....
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Charisma, Uniqueness, Nerve and Talent...
Well, at least it's a nice breast? No, that doesn't seem right to say...really kids need to stop trying to be older. There's plenty of time for that later in life. Be a prude, be innocent, have silly fun instead.
HB to Roger Taylor; you made a beautiful, and scarily convincing, schoolgirl in the 'I want to break free' video.
HB to Mick Jagger; you set the bar by which every other frontman has since been judged.