Here’s the 17-year-old Canadian Jesus Justin Bieber posing with his dad
Vanilla Ice Jeremy Bieber after they both got Jesus tattooed on their torsos in Hebrew a couple of months ago. Where are the pictures of Jeremy dunking Justin’s head in a bowl of Summer’s Eve and wrapping him in an Ed Hardy blanket, because this shit looks like scenes straight from a douchetism.
The Lesbeaver’s skin looks as fragile as a swan’s hymen, so I don’t even know he can take a tattoo. When the tattoo artist touched Justin’s with the needle, he probably flinched for a minute thinking that pinata candy was going to spill out.
Jesus and God better step away from the needle and not even thinking of getting matching Bieber tattoos on their torsos in Comic Sans.
And about Jeremy Bieber… Sometimes I get sentimental about the porn stars who taught me how to love (see: fap) in my teens and so I’ll Google them to see what they look like today. Nine times out of nine, they look just like Jeremy Bieber. You know, they look like a dude who you can usually find shirtless in the middle of a Kroger, buying Amstel Light after getting fired from his 5th plumbing job in a row for giving the shocker to the office assistants.
Please don’t ask me if I would with the peen that shot out Justin Bieber 17 years ago. I’m not that fucking sick or hard up… Okay, I would.