Kristen Stewart As Snow White

Straight from Comic-Com comes the promo pictures for Stoned Snow White and the Huntsman starring Kristen Stewart as Snow White, Charlize Theron as The Evil Queen, Chris Hemsworth as The Huntsman, Sam Claflin, Eddie Izzard, Nick Frost and Toby Jones. This is the second Snow White movie coming out next year, and this one is going to turn Snow White into a Joan of Arc type bad bitch who drops the innocent maiden act to take down The Queen.

I know these are just pictures, but since only premature overreactions are allowed on the internet, I just have to say: THE FUCK?! Kristen Stewart as Snow White = No. Kristen Stewart as Dopey = Si. How is Snow White going to bite the apple when she’s too busy biting her own lip? How are we going to know the difference between Snow White in an apple-induced coma and Snow White not in an apple-induced coma since Kristen Stewart always looks like she’s been bitten by the Lunesta moth. And even a half-broken lezzie mirror with Twihard tendencies who has never felt the drop of Windex would never say that Kristen Stewart is “fairer” than Charlize Theron. Bye Ho….Bye Ho….

Bitches need to explain all of this right after they explain why Charlize Theron looks like Heidi of the Alps at a Brother of the Wolf costume party.