Open Post: Hosted By The Empress Of Lucite

July 22, 2011 / Posted by:

Twenty five minutes after this picture of the Empress of Lucite mounting her slave boy’s scooter was taken, a delicate pop followed by a celestial hum that sounded almost like cherubs blowing into crystal conch shells passed through Miami. Most thought it was just one of Celine Dion’s twins burping and cooing again. The sound actually came from a group of firemen prying Shauna Sand’s suction cup flower off of the seat. Those of you who wish to show your gratitude to Shauna for giving you the sensation of heaven whispering into your ears can do so by donating a pair of exquisite lucite heels to a needy stripper. It’s what The Empress wants.

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