A for real downgrade is when you go from bending your ass for Michael Fassbender to spitting out the pubes of Penn Badgley through your coochie. Zoe Kravitz has apparently done just that. Zoe was humping on her X-Men co-star Michael Fassbender, but now it looks like bitch plummeted down the hot piece ladder and landed on some Gossip Girl dick. Page Six reports that Zoe is officially fucking down and has moved on from Fassbender with Penn.
Zoe and Penn were first seen together at the after-party for Friends with Benefits on Monday night, and some other source says that yesterday they touched skin while going to see Horrible Bosses. The source, who obviously has night vision eyeballs, says Zoe and Penn left right after Jennifer Aniston’s character made a joke about how she fapped off a nail tip to him on Gossip Girl. The source said this riveting stuff, “He had his arm around her while they waited in line. But an awkward moment happened when Jennifer Aniston quips, ‘Did you see ‘Gossip Girl’ last night? I fucked myself so hard [watching] that Penn Badgley guy, I broke a nail.’ The look on Penn’s face was priceless. They left the theater right after.”
Zoe and Penn actually make more sense than Zoe and Michael Fassbender. Zoe and Fassbender looked off to me. Like they were always on an awkward first date after meeting on Craigslist and neither of them wanted to tell the other that they didn’t look like their picture at all. But Zoe and Penn both look like they just fell out of an Urban Outfitters catalog and they both look like Dark Crystal characters who didn’t make the cut. I bet their mixed together fuck juices smell like patchouli and American Spirit butts. Match made.