Open Post: Hosted By Ryan Gosling’s Dog George

July 21, 2011 / Posted by:

I have a jacked up haircut, have been known to chew on my own toe nails, usually wear only one sock and start wagging when I see an apple (especially an apple like this) and I will never ever EVER ever be as cool as Ryan Gosling’s dog George. This is one thing I learned from watching this clip of Ryan and George on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon. The other thing I learned is that I want to crystallize Ryan’s voice and sprinkle it on my poutine. (<— If that sentence was a drag queen it’s name would be Youffa Nizm.)

But really, we get it, Ryan! Your dog is the new definition of awesome. Your dog is basically calling the giant pubic landing strip on his body a “mohawk” and we agree with him. Your dog is setting new trends by wearing one sock. Your dog is the Cherie from Punky Brewster of dogs. Your dog is so special that I’m sure he shits apple cobbler. Okay, I’m not joking about that last one. Have you ever fed a dog an apple? I have, and even after Sunshine Cleaning came and did their best job, the pavement outside of my apartment building was never the same again.

What I’m really trying to say here is that I’m going to make my dog get plastic surgery to look just like Ryan Gosling’s dog.

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