Correction: OctoMom Is Disgusted By ALL Babies

InTouch Weekly published an interview with OctoMom a couple of weeks ago that they supposedly bought from a freelance reporter who is close to her lawyer. The interview was like a serenade song to Child Protective Services, because OctoMom was quoted as saying that she hates her 14 million babies and that they completely gross her out. But Octo quickly denied the interview ever took place and said that she was considering throwing a lawsuit at InTouch for slander since those words never squeezed themselves out of her triple stuffed rigatoni lips.

Well, TMZ got a hold of audio from the interview Octo says never went down and she doesn’t say her babies disgust her. Octo says that ALL babies disgust her. Glad, we could clear that up. Cut to Octo:

“Whenever I hear a baby cry, I cringe. I do not like babies. I am absolutely disgusted by babies. They make me sick … I don’t even look at them. I have to look away.”

Octo also said that she locks herself in the bathroom sometimes to get away from the madness, something she denied every saying. Click here if you want to listen to the interview, but if your soul assumes the fetal position from listening to the sound of babies screeching like bats fighting over the last blood clot ball, then don’t do it.

When I was in the 3rd grade, I bought 5 cans of creamed corn to donate to a food drive at my school. But instead of donating the cans, I ate all of them with sugar at once. That night I learned that creamed corn looks the same way going out as it does going in. To this day, I can’t even sniff canned creamed corn without the heaves crawling up my throat. So, I guess, in a way, babies are to Octo as what canned creamed corn is to me. But the big difference is that the mountain of creamed corn I barfed up didn’t rely on me to put it to my nipple for leche (heave 1), change its diaper (heave 2) and show it love in the form of a cuddle (heave 3). So crazy bitch just needs to deal.

The moral of the story is, don’t go on a baby popping binge if you can help it. The other moral of the story is, don’t go on a canned creamed corn binge, because you’ll hate canned creamed corn afterward and a family who was supposed to get those 5 cans will probably starve to death.