Blind Items: I Guess, You Guess

Bree Olson, one of Charlie Sheen’s ex-Goddesses, co-hosted HOT1079‘s morning radio show in her hometown of Fort Wayne. After giving details about her relationship with Charlie Sheen, she mentioned that she has also been involved with a multiple Oscar winner who has starred in recent blockbusters. (Blind Gossip)

The only multiple Oscar winning actors who are still alive are: Robert DeNiro, Jack Nicholson, Tom Hanks, Sean Penn, Denzel Washington, Gene Hackman, Dustin Hoffman, Michael Caine, Daniel Day-Lewis and Kevin Spacey.

Yeah, I don’t know why I kept typing after “Sean Penn” when I could’ve used those keystrokes on writing my fanfic retelling of When Harry Met Sally starring Prince Hot Ginge and me. I still need a title. When Harry Met My Fanny? When Harry Met Sally which is the nickname for my b-hole? Anyway, Sean Penn, Sean Penn. Totally that German Shepard-faced man whore Sean Penn.

Which Latino comic’s kinky “sexcapades” were caught on video and are now making the rounds in Hollywood AND on the Internet? It seems a disgruntled ex downloaded the dirty clips that show the funnyman in some very compromising positions! (National Enquirer via Blind Gossip)

You know you’ve hit rock bottom when you’ve spent the last 20 minutes trolling the Internet for any signs of George Lopez’s nalgas bobbing up and down (like the back of two old bull dogs panting) in a sex tape. That’s what a slow cry for help looks like.

WHICH TV personality is having HUGE issues with her designer wedding dress because she can barely squeeze into it? The des-perate-to-be-thin bride-to-be has now resorted to crash-dieting for her big day. (National Enquirer via CDAN)

Kim Kardashian would just remove a bone or an obese internal organ she doesn’t need (like a heart, etc), so I’m going to guess that Sherri Shepherd is the bride whose something blue will be a bruise from her a Spanx cocoon.