Betty White Is Not Going To The Marine Corps Ball

July 18, 2011 / Posted by:

Betty White has officially broken the fragile heart of Sgt. Ray Lewis, the Marine who did one full pull up (ONE FULL PULL UP) in the video where he asked America’s forever sweetheart to be his date to the Marine Corp Ball. Betty did the opposite of what Justin Timberlake and Mila Kunis did by turning his ass down. Betty said thank you, but no thank you, when the L.A. Times asked if she was going. Bitch has to work!

“I am deeply flattered and truly appreciate the invitation. As everyone knows, I love a man in uniform … but unfortunately I cannot accept, as I will be taping an episode of ‘Hot in Cleveland.’

Love, Betty White.”

So now a Marine will go to the ball alone where he’ll sit in a darkened corner stroking the corsage he made for Betty White out of Werther’s Originals while fighting back lonely tears as the terrorists take to the streets carrying victory flags with Betty White’s face on ’em. Nope. Still don’t hate her. And now can we be done with all these damn invites? (Unless, a Marine is planning to invite a Kardashian only so that he can get her on stage and under a bucket full of pig’s blood. If that’s the case, carry on.)

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