The Crazies Are Already Trying To Kill Crazey Anthony

July 15, 2011 / Posted by:

Casey Anthony is locked up in jail until this Sunday, but the voices inside Shireen Nalley’s head didn’t let her in on that little fact. News9.com reports that rage and revenge took over Shireen’s crazy gene when she walked into a convenience store in Chouteau, Oklahoma on Friday night and spotted Sammay Blackwell working behind the counter. Police say that Shireen thought she was looking into the murderous eyes of an acquitted baby murderer. Shireen paid for her gas and calmly walked out. Sammay got a weird vibe from Shireen but didn’t think anything of it. Insert Suspense Cat here.

After Sammay’s shift ended, she got into her car and was about to make her way home to her daughter named (insert Suspense Cat: The Sequel here) CAYLEE! (Do not whisper that piece of information to any of Shireen’s personalities.) When Sammay turned her head to back out, she saw the crazy burning white fire into Shireen’s eyes. Sammay backed out and drove away, but Shireen wasn’t going to let “Casey Anthony” off that easy. Shireen rammed her car into Sammay’s truck causing it to flip over two and a half times. Sammay played dead in her truck until the police showed up.

The police think Shireen was high on the bad shit and one officer claims that she said she hit Sammay’s truck to “save the children” and stop “the killing of babies.” Sammay believes that Shireen thought she was Casey Anthony.

Shireen was charged with assault and battery with a deadly weapon, leaving the scene of a vehicle collision, resisting arrest, reckless driving and for believing that all white people look the same.

First of all, Sammay is a really hot name and that’s what I’d name my next dog if I wasn’t afraid that Shireen would run over it with her car. Second of all, my nutsack looks more like Casey Anthony than Sammay does. Third of all, Giada DeWhatever better change her face STAT because it looks more and more likely that Casey Anthony will go under the knife to look like her.

Fourth of all, I didn’t think I’d ever say this to a black woman ever, but I’m mistaking Shireen for Nancy Grace right about now. Yes, Shireen sort of looks like Kyle Massey, but her Nancy Grace gene is the dominant one.

via Slate

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