Courtney Stodden Must Be On Some Real Shit
Remember the story from last month that made your skin crawl into your happy place? Well, it's back! 51-year-old Doug Hutchinson, the actor who is most famous for playing a 1930s prison guard, and his 16-year-old child wife Courtney Stodden, whose face looks like it's been marinating in a prison cell since the 1960s, sat down with Good Morning America's Lara Spencer to tell their side of the story that made Woody Allen bust out a thumbs up. Let me lay down the facts according to Creep Face and Ole' Whore Face before I get into Courtney's bizarre orgasm eyes during the entire interview.
- Courtney met the creeper who looks like he nom nom noms on the crotch part of dirty panties when she signed up for one of his acting classes online. Doug says he didn't know Courtney was born in 1995 at the time. Courtney says she made the first move, because she thought he was so "handsome." They kept their relationship strictly an online thing for months.
- Doug says he never broke any laws and Chris Hansen never poured him a glass of iced tea, because he never did cyber sex shit with Courtney. Even after they met, they kept their clothes on. Courtney says she's a strict Christian girl and was saving herself for marriage. Courtney's pimp of a mom who puts White Oprah's child selling game to shame approved of her daughter's relationship with Doug from the very beginning. Apparently, Krista Stodden is the one who told them they should get married with her consent. Krista says she could feel their love in heart from the beginning. Somewhere Roman Polanski is on his knees, praying that Krista will give birth to another daughter that he can marry in 15 years.
- Good Morning America was given a copy of Courtney's birth certificate and verified that she's 16. Courtney denies having plastic surgery and Doug says her rode hard, put away wet face was made from the hands of God. Courtney had to drop out of school, because she was constantly bullied by jealous girls. Courtney now takes courses at some online Christian school.
- Courtney says she's not a gold digger and is not using Doug to further whatever career she thinks she has. If marrying Doug makes her star, then that's just another gift. But if it doesn't, Courtney will be with him forever. Of course, they're currently trying to get a reality show deal.
Yes, their story is like a performance art piece built around the word "disturbing," but what was even more fucked up is Courtney practically licking Doug's nasty face with her eyes during the entire interview. Push me through a Silkwood car wash, because this interview was the epitome of gross. This is what a porn version of Mannequin called Blow-up Doll would look like. Because Courtney acted the way a dude would want his blow-up doll to act if it came alive. It's hilarious in a tragic way watching an alleged 16-year-old giggle and try to make hardcore sex faces. Courtney makes a dying trout gasping for air look sexy.
Or maybe Courtney is drugged as all hell, because she does make me want to hold my 8-ball closer. It's as if Casey Anthony handed her a sneeze cloth just minutes before this interview.
And yes, I've already added their future reality show to my Tivo Wish List.
via Washington Post (Thanks Lisa)
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uhh i thought i recognised his creepy face from somewhere!
he played eugene tooms in the x-files - the one who ate livers and hibernated in a nest of newspapers and his own stomach bile.
I'm sorry, but you cannot relate to a 16 year old girl on an adult level with the emotional maturity that is required for a real marriage. This man is SICK. And she is just a trashy idiotic teenager.
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"Let s/he who is without sin, cast the first Stoney."
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The wedding is not the problem. SHE is the problem. If my 16 year's old daughter was like HER, it would be the failure of my life ! How a mother can be proud of this ?!
Ok, I was 16 once and there was no way I would ever dress/ wear make-up/ behave like that. It's just not something normal 16-year olds do, right? I can just imagine the beating I would have gotten from my mum if I even were to consider to leave the house dressed like that. And we aren't even conservative or anything, just have some self-respect.
And as many have said before me, if this bitch is 16 I am a dancing elephant.
Submitted by TelevisedRevolution on Fri, 07/15/2011 - 3:30pm.
That remix video was fascinating - the Jodeci song is the perfect soundtrack. What the fuck is she taking?
Maybe she's an Illuminati sex slave, and her parents are satanists who sold her to Stodden, and she's been raped and drugged and isolated her whole life. 'Cause you know that ...kid? woman?...has no friends.
PS: Do NOT stay up all night reading manuals of how Monarch Sex Slaves are made, and how Elvis Presley was an Illuminati slave and Jerry Lee Lewis a sadistic Illuminati Programmer, and so was Frank Sinatra, and how Hilary and Bill are big Illuminati Witches Masters.....
Marilyn Monroe, the Judds, Willie Nelson, Bob FUCKING Hope?
/ switches to black tar heroin
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Been there, done that.
I see the teenager under it all. Too much of the wrong kind of make-up, corrosive drugs and monstrous parents.
This whole thing is so sad. Not because of him, who is just a stupid straight guy who should know better. (I mean what straight guy doesn't want a virgin 16 year old? Let's be honest.) It's sad because she thinks she has to act like this to get attention and love. She's acting seriously disturbed throughout that video - and every aspect of her appearance seems to have been calculated. It's sick.
Some women do look older than they are from early on. It's just genetics. I went to high school with a girl who looked like she was in her late 20's. It happens. But this person - ISSUES. And yeah, she wants to further her career.
Umm since when did Pamela Anderson and Lady Gaga hook up and give birth to a 50 yr old teenager? If she is 16...she is not 16! Why does she look like a 50 yr old gold digger from Black Hawk? (N. Ca reference)
Some of this I read about on Dlisted...
Doug Hutchison's website got pulled by it's host. I think he was getting his fuck on both in real life and virtual with alot of student 'actresses' from his online acting classes. Courtney probably roped him in on the threat of pedophilia charges. He's quite a loser I don't know why they think he's a great catch career wise.
The only reality show she'll be on is Intervention.
Submitted by precociousmagpie on Sat, 07/16/2011 - 10:47am.
I have to agree with Whiskey Tango; you people are so dead inside, so incapable of actual love as God itself imagined it, you are blocking out THE TRUTH and letting Satan win his ugly game.
If you would just set aside your cynicism and pick up your Bible, it is clear from the great teachings of Leviticus 12:07:34 that "He who is some old dude and was briefly on television will amass a maiden who resembleth a leathery crone of ill repute; and they shall nuptialize verily that no man may stop them."
It's all right there, if you would only look. But NO, YOU WANT LOVE TO DIE.
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My bad. I have now seen the light! Cool? :)
♥ Threadkilla!
Real Life Twitter, Celebrity Edition:
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ANSWER ME THIS - STRAIGHT DLISTER MEN (are there any? Sucknfuck?) Would most men would do this if they could?
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As a straight 34-year-old man would I have relations with a 16-year-old woman-child? Probably not, if I knew her age at the time we first met.
But if I didn't know her age (if, like this bitch, she looked 26)? Maybe. It depends on how intelligent and mature she is and how far into the relationship we were until I discovered her real age. Also, it would depend if such a relationship was even legal. In some states, the age of consent is 18, in others it is 17 or 16.
However, I probably wouldn't ever date a women even close to 16. In fact, I find most 20-something women in my college town to be too immature to take seriously.
Submitted by Molotov Cocktease on Sat, 07/16/2011 - 3:43am.
Thanks. I saw the video that he quotes from, where the long-haired guy talks. It makes a lot of sense.
She looks even older being interviewed than in still photos.
This is all lies. She's not 16; HE didn't even believe it. I bet the "birth certificate" is from some baby she had 16 years ago, and Courtney's "mother" is her sister. And no plastic surgery? Please. Virgin? Yeah, right.
I have to agree with Whiskey Tango; you people are so dead inside, so incapable of actual love as God itself imagined it, you are blocking out THE TRUTH and letting Satan win his ugly game.
If you would just set aside your cynicism and pick up your Bible, it is clear from the great teachings of Leviticus 12:07:34 that "He who is some old dude and was briefly on television will amass a maiden who resembleth a leathery crone of ill repute; and they shall nuptialize verily that no man may stop them."
It's all right there, if you would only look. But NO, YOU WANT LOVE TO DIE.
what the fuck is up with her mouth? I don't think she's all there.
This makes me sad and disgusted. What's WORSE is Courtney. She's STOOPIT and just a kid... and she's making me sick. I wanna beat her up while she sings kiddie bible songs.
I love my husband... he is selfless and beautiful. But men like THIS ... no.
ANSWER ME THIS - STRAIGHT DLISTER MEN (are there any? Sucknfuck?) Would most men would do this if they could?
(helps you -YES)
You're all wrong. This is TRUE LOVE right here and all you HATERS can just SHOVE IT because these two are THE REAL DEAL.
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""There is no chicken or egg. It's molecular." - Lady Gaga
Hahahahahahaha! That video was awesome. I fast forwarded to the 4:50 mark, she looks like she is having a seizure. Hilarious!
so much is wrong about this...I don't even know where to start. This has to be some kind of bizarre publicity stunt/joke 1) I'm in my mid 20s and I swear I look about 10 years younger than her 2) that woman is supposed to be a devout christian? ...then again, if she really is that young I feel sorry for her, because clearly something is wrong...
but to get back to my original point: I kind of expect them to go on Oprah (or whatever show's still on), pull a wig and mask off and it turns out they're Weird Al Yankovic and Ceaușescu yelling 'psych!!' while skinning a duck billed platypus or something...
in other words: the whole thing is a mindfuck to me
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~I'm a cynical bastard~
for a moment i thought it was Area 51!!
televisedrevolution -
Series is called "Wake Up," it's a long one, the Britney and Anna Nicole stuff starts around part 16, but the part I mentioned is on part 19 at the 8:00 mark. ↓↓↓
http://www.youtube.com/user/truthproject101#p/p/B60A97326DA73DDF/18/3Se9...
PS - be forewarned, it does show some fucked up pics of different tragedies "allegedly" orchestrated, which I don't really like
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I think all this shit started with a 3 way they had that went wrong and afterwards Jen wanted to be held and Ang wanted to fuck again... so he went with the obvious choice. - jack-n-the-hat 07/07/11
Submitted by Molotov Cocktease on Sat, 07/16/2011 - 12:05am.
I just noticed the one-eye thing. Mmm, yeah. All this stuff is becoming really obvious nowadays, I wonder why.
Do you have a URL for the video you watched (Anna Nicole)? I'm not the one who posted it, but I'd like to see it.
The k in Mind Kontrol Ultra is not for Kardashian,it's German and a tribute to torture experiments in nazi camps Mengele style.That shit never stopped,many of the sick scientists were too brilliant to go to waste,so they moved to America to share their wisdom.This is not a conspiracy theory,it's history.In conclusion,shit like Monarch slaves and such,shouldn't be labelled as paranoid theories,therefore immediately rejected,but carefully examined,because crazy,unbelievable shit has happened before and it will happen again.
what kind of drugs is she on when she's walking the dog in the beginning?
I wish I had something to add, but everyone else seems to have said it all!
Two questions: 1) How old was her mother? In her 70s? Or was 'the mother' in her 40s, i.e. a (slightly) older sister? 2) Can they do stem cell carbon dating yet? Late Jurassic!
lol!!! on the cps is on the line tag!!!!
TV - I bet she smells like battered old pussy. jussayin....
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I think all this shit started with a 3 way they had that went wrong and afterwards Jen wanted to be held and Ang wanted to fuck again... so he went with the obvious choice. - jack-n-the-hat 07/07/11
I bet she smells like new car.
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"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"
Submitted by TelevisedRevolution on Fri, 07/15/2011 - 9:43pm.
hella late to the party, but whatevs. You mirrored my exact sentiments. This screams monarch slave. I didn't get very far into it, though bc it was making me uncomfy.
Also, you will definitely appreciate this - I get all wrapped up in those vids and was watching a series today and the creator totally used a Dlisted article talking about the Anna Nicole death. It was awesome, and now I am wondering which one of you is truth101!
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I think all this shit started with a 3 way they had that went wrong and afterwards Jen wanted to be held and Ang wanted to fuck again... so he went with the obvious choice. - jack-n-the-hat 07/07/11
Yuck. Look at how she is walking around 4:20. In a skin tight white dress and heels to walk a dog. And she is really forcing a sexy walk. She looks ridiculous. And what the hell is with that face she is making at him around 4:50? Do I even want to finish watching this video? This is getting creepy.
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"Wait until the bitch finds the family of wombats living in her chocha." - MK
How old someone looks is completely a matter of genetics mixed with how they groom themselves. I was always skinny and looked 5 years younger than my age in high school. I was also not allowed to wear makeup and my mom monitored the clothes I wore. I was a "late bloomer." I'm now 29 and people think i'm 19. I went to school with girls who looked like her as 8th graders or high school FRESHMAN. They always dated men 10 years their senior and had kids before graduating. I'm from michigan... It happens a lot.
She is 16 years old?! for real?
i look younger than her and im 28.
I don't care if they produced a dozen eye-witnesses to her birth to say she's only 16 years old. If she's 16, I'm 12 because I know I look way younger than her.
This whole thing is sad and I hope people won't give them anymore interviews or anything, it's just encouraging them D:
Obviously a monarch sex slave. Did anybody else notice the constant one eye? The naked whore wrapped up in an American flag?? Her parents are going to burn in hell along with that creep.
p.s. sex slave or not, this bitch is HORRID looking. You can't be the next Britney, when you look like a 99 cent hooker on discount Courtney.
Submitted by TelevisedRevolution on Fri, 07/15/2011 - 9:43pm.
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vigilantcitizen dot com-well written, interesting stuff
"my brows could subtract that WTF look on your face so move along"
Could this not be some sort of con on the part of the parents, enlisting their daughter to (knowingly) ensnare a low-level celebrity as a way of gaining notoriety (or a big payday through some other route)? They seem like a good old-fashioned grifter family, updated for today's technologies and social ills.
This guy is currently operating under the delusion that he's running the show. Let's hope the worst that happens is that he wakes up one day to find his home and bank accounts are emptied of their contents, and not that he ends up like Gary Coleman or Jeff Conaway.
She's definitely on something, he probably is, and the full "Nightline" segment referred to his prior issues with alcohol so there's a precedent. I'll guess Oxycontin or the like, because she can't keep her eyes open. On the other hand, her mouth movements are kinda meth-y/gurning. And I wouldn't be surprised if she got him hooked, rather than the other way around.
I get a vague Corey Haim vibe off of him, which also doesn't bode well.
I don't believe for a second this sperm dumpster is 16. Time to break out the long form Birth Certificate!
She's not a Christianaaaaaaaaaaah
DORK SIDED!!!!
Submitted by thegobbler on Fri, 07/15/2011 - 8:27pm.
Submitted by TelevisedRevolution on Fri, 07/15/2011 - 7:30pm.
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Oh, God, no - my ego isn't so fragile as all that. I just meant that's why One-Liner didn't know what you were talking about.
Glad to know someone else is giving themselves nightmares with the Illuminati stuff. The piece I read, on the making of an Illuminati slave, was chilling, to say the least. It actually warns you not to read it if you think you might be a slave, as there's in it could trigger you.
I think it came out before rap became big, because It only mentions country musicians who were involved, either as drug runners, sex slaves or as Programmers / Masters. And old school people like Bob Hope, the Rat Pack, etc.
Anyway.....I digress. :P
She'll look like Estelle Getty in 5 years.
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"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"
I love how he says the 16 year old was saving herself for marriage. Way to hold out. I'm sure she'll be running the reality circuit like every other fame whore.
I mean when your agent drops you, get a clue.
She must be sixteen in ol' dawg years. When *both* hard-livin' Lohan girls look younger than you, then you know something in the M.A.C & Milk ain't clean. Is this a stunt for an elaborate CMT reality show called "The Cougar and the Codger"?
Im so late, I barely got a chance to watch the Video but OMG what on earth is going on in Minute 4:51 and on???? with her lip licking and crazy stare???? that is scary she looks possessed by a demon.....creepy
********* SAVE A LIFE. ADOPT A PET *********
Submitted by TelevisedRevolution on Fri, 07/15/2011 - 7:30pm.
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Oops! Sorry-I wish this site had a "quote in reply" feature so I wouldn't get so confuzzled. I haz the dumz...
"my brows could subtract that WTF look on your face so move along"
I give it one year.
(973) Jersey Strong
I watched the interview this morning, and I don't believe that she is only 16.
(973) Jersey Strong
"tooms is so creepy."
Jesus. 'Eugene Tooms' was the first episode of the 'X-Files' I ever saw and it kept my then-17 year old ass awake at night. He was creepy as fuck and at the time I just thought it was *Jon Lovitz voice* ACT-ING! I stand corrected after watching this interview.
I feel sorry for his child bride. I really do. I also don't think she's a victim of Daddy Bad Touch based solely on the expression of her dad in the wedding pictures. The man looks like he's going to barf and then pass out from the stress. I placing the blame on mom. I usually don't like the point the fingers at parents, but my parents seriously would have shipped my ass off to live with some distant rural Ireland dwelling relative before they would have let my 16 year old self marry a 51 year old.
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If love had a dick I would eff with it. But it doesn't (it has a no crotch like Barbie).