On the left is a full bodied Jonah Hill looking like an unshaven fat lesbian going to an SNL theme party as Pat in March ’10, and on the right is a de-chunked Jonah Hill at last night’s ESPY Awards. DAMN is right. No wonder I had zero will to exercise this year (and every year), because this bitch stole it all. OF COURSE, Jonah dropped the chunk from diet and exercise, and not from getting his stomach bag Spanxed while snorting blow cut with Dexatrim in that body sauna from I Love Lucy.
Some say that when you lose weight in your body, you gain old in your face. Now I’m not saying that’s what’s going on here, but the Jonah of today does look like a ginger Eminem at his ITT Tech graduation. But I’m still going to say that NOW Jonah is hotter. I’m only saying that because I’m sure underneath that suit, Jonah’s got a loose skin miniskirt and a back that looks like a Shar Pei puppy frowning. How can I deny a loose skin miniskirt and a sad Shar Pei puppy?