Hot Slut Of The Day!

July 14, 2011 / Posted by:

Minister Dawn from Dance Moms – Last night was the premiere of Lifetime’s Dance Moms, which is supposed to be like The Real Housewives meets Toddlers & Tiaras meets a low blood sugar meltdown from 2008 Kirstie Alley. It follows the “creative director” and main choreographer Abby Lee Miller of Pittsburgh’s Abby Lee Dance Company as she spits out sequined taffeta after rage eating a little girl who doesn’t kick, stretch and kick high enough! To say that Abby Lee Miller is what would terrorize our planet if Kirstie Alley gave herself an enema using Miss Viola Swamp’s entire body is an understatement. Abby Lee is a monstrous mound of cunterous lard who would eat a child’s soul if it was wrapped in a Hostess package and I love her!

Like at one point during that mess of a show, a little girl got the vommy ills during dance rehearsal and nearly barfed all of her insides out. Abby told her to suck it up and turn that sick face into a frozen JAZZ HANDS face if she wants to be the best! Abby is a dozen stage moms from hell in one package (literally). And Abby can really bring the bitch hard, because she doesn’t have to worry about a little girl ruining her dinner with sobs and sniffles at the family table. Abby can shatter their dreams with her mighty fupa and then send them home.

But I won’t be honoring Abby Lee today. Today, I have to pay tribute to Minister Dawn. Minister Dawn did Jesus’ work last night when she battled against Abby about her daughter wore the wrong shit to class. Minister Dawn called Abby Lee a piece of trash and then posed like a boss on a cardboard box. Dawn was Mona the Headhunter to Abby Lee’s Mount Fuji (first GLOW reference of the day!). Clip below. And no, the dubbing is not off. The words come out of their asses too fast and their mouths can’t keep up.

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