Well, Here’s Mama Spears In A Swimsuit

This is not as random as pictures of Daddy Spears in a Velveeta-colored Speedo, but it’s still pretty damn random. For some reason, 56-year-old Lynne Spears covered the holy vagine that pushed out the Frito-Lay messiah in a black one-piece and gave the paps a water show in some aquarium pool thing in Dallas, Texas on 7-11. Brit Brit’s Cheetolings and Jamie Lynn’s daughter also gave it their all in front of the cameras, but Mama Spears was the true star.

If Brit Brit ever has to do a photo shoot where the Photoshop budget is as thin as the two natural hairs on her scalp, then she should just throw a possum nest on Mama Spears’ head and tell the photographer to go at it. I’ll tell Brit Brit the same thing some nasty old delusional piece of shit hobo man told my me in the parking lot of a Rite-Aid last year: “That’s your mom?! She looks better and younger than you do!” Motherfucker!