Afternoon Crumbs

The second worst part (the first being that she cut off his fucking dick) of this Lorena Bobbit 2011 story isn’t that her husband’s garbage disposal dick is going to smell like lemon and chicken bones, it’s that he’s going to be called Becker the Wrecked Pecker for the rest of his days – The Daily What

George Clooney’s eyebrows have entered the Jack Nicholson stage of their existence – Lainey Gossip

Miranda Kerr named her son Flynn after her dead ex-boyfriend, and no his name wasn’t Errol Flynn – The Superficial

If the Smithsonian-worthy Slut Dress went on the Master Cleanse, it would look exactly like what’s on Annalynne McWhatever’s body – Hollywood Tuna

Do the US soldiers take requests, because I’d like to see them do Khia’s “Put That Pussy On His Ass” – Towleroad

That trick whore who is only famous for screwing on David Arquette is trying to extend her 15 minutes by extending her mouth on a peen in a leaked sex tape (site NSFW) – Drunken Stepfather

Good luck with that, trollop – Celebitchy

Two words: Desperation Bloat – ICYDK

Snooki’s “Gorilla Beach” is not be confused by the line of skincare for apes products that Theresa Giudice is going to put out – OMG Blog

The Sherlock Holmes 2: Game of RDJ’s 5 o’clock Drag Shadow is here! – The Berry

What in the hell kind of GD outfit is Vivica Fox wearing? – Hollywood Rag

Channing Tatum is all bald headed now – Popsugar

When is somebody going to hand Xtina a giant plucker and let her know that those brows belong on a Count Chocula box? – Just Jared

Why, hello there, Ali Larter’s fishnet chichis – Popoholic

The fact that Simon Cowell is built like a lactating Nord woman is accentuated by that pink sweater – I’m Not Obsessed

Potterfitti! – Cityrag

The fuck word has never sounded so adorable – The Hairpin