The Shemalien Who Fell To The Earth

Posing on the border where my nightmares meet my wet dreams, Tilda Swinton wipes the skid mark left by Kim Kardashian's skank shit off of W Magazine in a series of gorgeous pictures that make me want to tap my b-hole with a Lego Man wrapped in a Tyvek condom.

If Powder joined a Culture Club tribute band in Oz, that cover is what it would look like. The rest of the pictures give me "albino lab rat meets Botoxed Gollum meets a monk from the Temple of Bowie" vibes. There's really nothing else more to say. The Foursquare Mayoress of Saturn strikes again! Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go hide in a closet with my Lego Man.

via Tom & Lorenzo

Posted by: Michael K

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Submitted by Spiffy McSpitshine on Tue, 07/12/2011 - 9:08pm.

God bless Tilda and her Cyborg/David Bowie ass. I love her. She has the most amazing luminous eye color. Oh crap, I'm getting sickening.

Nothing is more important in this world than lookin' spiffy

Submitted by nightowl on Tue, 07/12/2011 - 6:36pm.

I love her! She does seem pretentious but I think it's more genuine that she's quirky/alternative like Bjork and not like Gaga who up until 2 1/2 years ago had a pretty average look.

Submitted by Lemonene on Tue, 07/12/2011 - 5:24pm.

Love her alien ass

Submitted by Cat Scratch on Tue, 07/12/2011 - 5:23pm.

I find Tilda Swinton to be unintentionally hilarious. She is so pretentious, she is the biggest contrarian and I love it.

Any interview she's in she goes out of her way to sound profound and does her best to defy every single question somehow.

She claims to not even be an actress but rather an "artist's model"....hahahaha, so full of shit but I love her.

Submitted by becky n sydney on Tue, 07/12/2011 - 5:07pm.

Submitted by Zorba-the-Geek on Tue, 07/12/2011 - 6:19pm.
I can't get into her because she signed Roman Polanski's petition. Cunt

"""""""""""""""""""""""
Same. I was wondering if anyone would mention the bitch being one of the staunchest supporters of the pedophilic arse rapist.
Cunt can rot in hell.

Submitted by Zorba-the-Geek on Tue, 07/12/2011 - 4:49pm.

I can't get into her because she signed Roman Polanski's petition. Cunt.

Submitted by TheBreakdown on Tue, 07/12/2011 - 3:47pm.

Tilda can do no wrong!

that is all.

***************************************
Facebook: Triston Negreaux
http://www.myspace.com/triston
ask me how to subscribe to Heaux Confessionals©

Submitted by loopygorilla on Tue, 07/12/2011 - 2:58pm.

normally i likes me some tilda but this is abit too contrived.

there is a very fine fine fine line which you can cross from being quirky and dare i say "edgy" to just being abit of a tosser and try hard.

and this shoot to me was wanker-ish and try hard.

Submitted by shandi on Tue, 07/12/2011 - 1:18pm.

I honestly thought that was the Powder character being reprised.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Wait until the bitch finds the family of wombats living in her chocha." - MK

Submitted by johnnysgirl on Tue, 07/12/2011 - 12:40pm.

Submitted by chewinsmoke on Tue, 07/12/2011 - 12:39pm.

Wouldn't you think she might enjoy just blending in from time to time?
--------------------------------------------

Some folks don't want to blend in, and I celebrate that. Also, she is a notoriously private person, so for all we know, she may schlep about in a housedress when at home.

It's worthwhile noting that Tilda was styled by someone else for these pics, it was someone else's vision. She happens to be someone who is very open to unconventional styling, and doesn't base her beauty on her gender (which I find commendable, evolved, and very refreshing).

She's one of the most talented actors of our time and I just love her.

..............................................................................................
"House arrest sounds like a dream!" - hermit crabs

Submitted by Cara on Tue, 07/12/2011 - 12:30pm.

Love her.

Submitted by Meatblocks on Tue, 07/12/2011 - 12:22pm.

it is also summertime, some peeps do things differently or go off on extended stays while some will naturally wane or cycle out. the only nastiness i've seen here really is the idiotic-alt situation or the occasional lofting of the political, racism and homphobia artillery.
but, then again, from not knowing this crowd for so long or so well, there may be covert & subtle nastiness that goes over my head. just as well.
i've a billion siblings, i can learn to like anyone and accept all the inherent differences -except a fake/alt. what's that phrase mk uses? -bitch. boom. bye. can't deal with that phony.

OT/#7 and #9 are the best tilda pics up there.

*peddles off in a mint '88 yugo*

Submitted by RedWeatherTigerD on Tue, 07/12/2011 - 12:05pm.

I usually buy into a lot...I love the weird, the wonky, the strange...but Tilda is just full of shit.

Submitted by Wanted on Tue, 07/12/2011 - 12:04pm.

LOVE IT.
Tilda: git it grrl!

Submitted by Bjork You on Tue, 07/12/2011 - 12:03pm.

Submitted by snowpiece on Tue, 07/12/2011 - 1:27pm: "MAKE IT GO AWAY!!!!"

"IT" won't go away, and I don't she should be banned, as much as I'd like her and a few others to be. It's freedom of speech, and all we can do is ignore it or call her out from time to time, for example, letting folks know when her alt is appearing. It's just weird to get chatty with someone and then that person creates an alt to insult you, all the while still chatting you up under the previous screen name. It makes one leery of chatting up newbies. I think Fraggle et al, you should join the Forum, the land of many alts and misery. You like mindfucks? Go there and prepare to orgasm yourself out of existence (if only...).

Submitted by Meatblocks on Tue, 07/12/2011 - 11:58am.

i guess if you look as unfortunate as that you should dress it out to distraction and shelve it as art. like caca.
about 3 of these pics are good. the rest are ridiculous.

*peddles off in a mint '88 yugo*

Submitted by snowpiece on Tue, 07/12/2011 - 11:57am.

MAKE IT GO AWAY!!!!

****************************
"Basically, Murlonio means "from Rob's ass" in Dumfuckanese." MK
"WE ARE THE TRIFECTA OF HATE ENTER THE TRIANGLE." Sucky 6/14/11

Submitted by Bjork You on Tue, 07/12/2011 - 11:57am.

Submitted by from athens on Tue, 07/12/2011 - 11:42am: "of course she is not a nurse people,she's a patient"

Hi athens! I'm on the day shit (typo stays) and haven't been able to chat with you, catholicschoolgirl, and the other night owls.

Hi Meatblocks.

I've said what I had to say about Fraggle and her alts. It's cowardly and tiresome, chatting you up and then being nasty to you via one her alts. However, there could be other reasons that posters are dropping off, who knows. I know that for awhile, it got pretty nasty here, and a couple of cool people left.

Submitted by Bjork You on Tue, 07/12/2011 - 11:45am.

Submitted by Lucifer_Sam on Tue, 07/12/2011 - 11:23am: "Her Gabriel in that shitty Keanu Reeves Constantine movie was flawlessly fucking sexy. Damn. WOULD so hard."

Ditto. Costume designer Louise Frogley designed beautiful clothes in that movie. It's not always about giving the straight boys erections, you know? Tilda knows how to rock Helmet Lang, too.

Submitted by suckandfuck on Tue, 07/12/2011 - 11:43am.

Submitted by howdareyou on Tue, 07/12/2011 - 12:21pm.

http://www.imdb.com/media/rm1768922368/nm1747713

There's one.
------------------------------------------------

Thanks very much!

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Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.

Submitted by Bjork You on Tue, 07/12/2011 - 11:37am.

"If Powder joined a Culture Club tribute band in Oz..." I can't remember what my life was like before you, M.K.

Regarding Tilda: I admire anyone who marches to the beat of her own drum. It's not an easy thing to do, especially in that industry. Check her out in that luminous Italian pic, "I Am Love" (something like that).

Submitted by chewinsmoke on Tue, 07/12/2011 - 11:31am.

I guess I want to know if I'm fucking anything up here...because if I am, it certainly isn't intentional.

Thank you! :)

"My pug is smarter than your honor student."

Submitted by chewinsmoke on Tue, 07/12/2011 - 11:29am.

Submitted by Sweetas on Tue, 07/12/2011 - 12:47pm.

putas oh they're the same but for some reason they waste their life with all these alts and dynamic IPs, fucking up the website they say they love. Long story short, like herpes they will just come back. Fucking. Lame.

*****************************************
I'm sorry - maybe I'm extremely computer illiterate - but WTF are you talking about?

"My pug is smarter than your honor student."

Submitted by angel_i on Tue, 07/12/2011 - 11:19am.

Wow - it's so hard to find a picture of this bitch's HANDS! This was only two years ago...they can't be that bad...
http://stylefrizz.com/img/tilda-swinton-yves-saint-laurent-dress.jpg

This is another great shoot too, achally - she's got lots:
http://stylefrizz.com/200802/tilda-swinton-photographed-by-raymond-meier...

♥ Threadkilla!
Girls watch porn too!:
http://www.collegehumor.com/video/6478389/girls-watch-porn-too

Submitted by Chandler02 on Tue, 07/12/2011 - 11:19am.

I love these pictures and I love Tilda. She is so striking, and I love that she is fearless with fashion. She uses her unique attributes to their fullest. If only more women were as empowered.

Submitted by Sweetas on Tue, 07/12/2011 - 11:17am.

Submitted by chewinsmoke on Tue, 07/12/2011 - 11:09am.

I liked her in Burn After Reading. She was such a fucking bitch in that movie. It was awesome - especially considering her husband, played by John Malkovich, was such a freaking lunatic. She didn't care if he was cra-zay. She was fucking ruthless.

I forgot about that movie actually. I really like it now that I think about it. That rowing apparatus that George Clooney put together in the form of a big dildo is a piece of exercise equipment I think I wouldn't mind having.

But I really don't understand why this chick needs to be SO weird, ALL of the time. Wouldn't you think she might enjoy just blending in from time to time?

"My pug is smarter than your honor student."

Submitted by Abby Normal on Tue, 07/12/2011 - 11:05am.

putas on Tue, 07/12/2011 - 12:32pm.

Sweetas isn't there a way for you (you got the keys to the 'car' so to speak lol) or mk to see if one person is the same and ban the alts or persons?

LOL!

You just brung Anonymous on your asshole.

Good Luck, Sweetas.

I know people who know people who know people who know people.

Bwahahahah.

On a serious note.

Are you peeps for real?

Dayum. I'm a total goofball here and ya'll get all serious like? Jeez Louise!

TERRORISM!

FASCISM!

DLISTISM!

Cluster FUCKISM!

Submitted by putas on Tue, 07/12/2011 - 11:02am.

Sweetas isn't there a way for you (you got the keys to the 'car' so to speak lol) or mk to see if one person is the same and ban the alts or persons?

Submitted by TheBrazilliant on Tue, 07/12/2011 - 10:53am.

People saying she is not beautiful or hot, do you realize she doesn't give a shit about that? She could glamour up and do the traditional hollywood diva look, you have a lot of people who are not pretty and yet are deemed as "gorgeous" just because they glam it up, it would be far too easy for her to do it, but she is way more interesting than that. Who needs another Nicole Kidman, ffs?

Submitted by howdareyou on Tue, 07/12/2011 - 10:51am.

Submitted by suckandfuck on Tue, 07/12/2011 - 12:18pm.

pix of the NZ hot piece plz

___________________________

http://www.imdb.com/media/rm1768922368/nm1747713

There's one.

Submitted by Gracejones on Tue, 07/12/2011 - 10:50am.

Face, body, skin, incredible. I hope I look like this when I am 50.

Submitted by Sweetas on Tue, 07/12/2011 - 10:49am.

*rolls eyes* Look, there's a turd in our sandbox. Wish you would carry your thread killing ass, or at least knock your ridiculous shit off. This is not the YOU YOU YOU site.

Submitted by suckandfuck on Tue, 07/12/2011 - 10:48am.

pix of the NZ hot piece plz

Submitted by urmomma on Tue, 07/12/2011 - 10:43am.

Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Tue, 07/12/2011 - 12:10pm.
They are either very evolved or very crazy.
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Meh, either way is good by me.
Love tilda. She is not like the other kids.

______________
Hell, everything would be better with stick ponies-MK

Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Tue, 07/12/2011 - 10:42am.

WTF is the deal with me and dbl posting today?

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Submitted by El Bastardo on Mon, 07/04/2011 - 11:39am.
You're only bisexual if someone rams a bottle of water up your ass and you cum. FACT.

Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Tue, 07/12/2011 - 10:40am.

I WISH we could discuss Tilda's home life instead of this other cap. I find her life in Scotland fascinating, especially given her husband is AOK with a younger man fucking his wife under his roof.

They are either very evolved or very crazy.

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Submitted by El Bastardo on Mon, 07/04/2011 - 11:39am.
You're only bisexual if someone rams a bottle of water up your ass and you cum. FACT.

Submitted by sybil on Tue, 07/12/2011 - 10:38am.

Silas & Opus Dei are coming for all of us...damn!!

Submitted by Uncle Brain-fart on Tue, 07/12/2011 - 10:37am.

Abby, i wouldn`t tell anyone anything that they haven`t seen from you before. Posting shit, deleting it, denying it has ever been posted.

MK can thank you and your bullshit for the dropping numbers here.. But i m sure in your mind you see that as an accomplishment. So , congratulations!!

===============================================

"I also have felt the nose heat of the man meat."
SFRB, 04/26/11
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http://www.youtube.com/user/beeper246#p/a/u/2/BrO86m4qAEs

Submitted by pollyhatesthekettle on Tue, 07/12/2011 - 10:37am.

Thumbnail 3 looks slightly like Uncle Fester slimmed down a bit and went to get some "new me" pics done ;-)

Submitted by vidz on Tue, 07/12/2011 - 10:37am.

Submitted by Abby Normal on Tue, 07/12/2011 - 11:39am.

OMG! You peeps crack me up.

I have NEVER been a nurse, never EVER claimed to be one either.

Sorry, got your alters' identities all mixed up.

*****************************************************

"Never ascribe to malice that which can adequately be explained by incompetence."
- Napoleon Bonaparte (1769-1821)

Submitted by ISprainedMyUvula on Tue, 07/12/2011 - 10:37am.

I love her. She gives me androgenous tingles in my special place.

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Try to be original, like the Colonel Sanders (may he rest in peace with his secret spices and shit). - urmomma

Submitted by putas on Tue, 07/12/2011 - 10:38am.

@ bossy..the younger "lovah" is pretty hot. She met him on a movie..the old dude is intellectual type guy who seems pretty happy she is even there at all.ha. I know one couple who had an "open" relatonship like that (but not all living under one roof like tilda and co.) and I didn't care. It did start. Grating when they would get tipsy and start talking about how 'evolved' and progressive they were and subtly putting down people who just wouldn't do that. Their marriage ventually crashed and burned spectacularly anyway.
Tilda never talks babout her unusual living arrangements and certainly doesn't hide it. She definitely doesn't make it a focal point to sell herself as hip and edgy as so many other celebrities would . One of the many things to like about her. She's a BAMF (bad ass motherfucker) :)

off topic..who was threatening to commit suicide over sweetas and jack???!! I miss the good shit.

Submitted by angry_secretary on Tue, 07/12/2011 - 10:33am.

thanks dementa! that lucky lady. I love new zealand guys.

- - - - - - - -

"I'm gonna end up back in the gutter, sucking meth for cock." - drunk Naomi in Still Waiting...

"Wrist full of colorful rubberbands!" - album reviewer extraordinaire Khia

quite fittingly...

http://j.mp/f89sny

Submitted by snowpiece on Tue, 07/12/2011 - 10:28am.

UBF: do tell, I have been staying away lately

****************************
"Basically, Murlonio means "from Rob's ass" in Dumfuckanese." MK
"WE ARE THE TRIFECTA OF HATE ENTER THE TRIANGLE." Sucky 6/14/11

Submitted by Abby Normal on Tue, 07/12/2011 - 10:23am.

Uncle Brain-fart on Tue, 07/12/2011 - 11:49am.

Talking of attention-seeking.....

No "attempting suicide posts " blaming Jack and Sweetas today?? Didn`t take you long to delete last night`s.

Bullshit. I'm pretty sure I blamed the moon cycle and my period.

Submitted by Ms.Fit on Tue, 07/12/2011 - 10:20am.

Submitted by angel_i on Tue, 07/12/2011 - 11:17am.
Ha! She's more compelling than MOST models. Bitch is 50 - eat THAT children!
****

yes and YES!!! Love these pics!

Submitted by Uncle Brain-fart on Tue, 07/12/2011 - 10:19am.

Talking of attention-seeking.....

No "attempting suicide posts " blaming Jack and Sweetas today?? Didn`t take you long to delete last night`s.
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"I also have felt the nose heat of the man meat."
SFRB, 04/26/11
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http://www.youtube.com/user/beeper246#p/a/u/2/BrO86m4qAEs

Submitted by dementa on Tue, 07/12/2011 - 10:18am.

Submitted by angry_secretary on Tue, 07/12/2011 - 11:43am.

She's in a menage a trois with a much older man (dad of her twins) and a much younger NZ dude she hooked up with while making the first Narnia movie.

*********

I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.