Open Post: Hosted By Jake Gyllenhaal Slurping Down A Worm

July 12, 2011 / Posted by:

The long-awaited Brokeback Iceland episode of Man vs. Wild was finally spread across your TV screens last night and it had enough gay innuendos to a fill a soundboard that you’d play while stroking the polyester mane of your Jakey G Barbie. It was “That’s what he said!” after “That’s what he said!”

Jake admitted that he loves digging holes and then Jake swallowed a worm right before Bear told us he was about to eat something full of protein. Just when you were about to tell them to go get a snow cave together, THEY DID!

You know, I was all prepared to go on and on about how I really hope Discovery After Dark shows the cut footage of Bear Grylls and his Jakey cub cuddling for warmth in the hallowed out body of a dead moose or hydrating each other’s body with homemade enemas, but nope. I don’t need to since they pretty much covered all the bases.

Just look at these topless bears holding hands while frolicking into the icy river together.

“They’re right up in my throat!” Jakey really knows his audience.

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