TMZ posted a video of the current reigning Welterweight Dumbass of the World Floyd Mayweather showing that he’s got money to burn by literally burning a $100 middle in the middle of a club in Atlanta while a bunch of bitches smile like they can’t use that cash to fix their busted weaves. (I see you, ho in the white dress.) I’m not even going to use the IN THIS ECONOMY phrase, because this would be some gross shit even if the streets were paved with gold and diamonds rained from the sky. I don’t even throw pennies, away because money is like a non-stale Zinger. You caress and love it. You don’t burn it up right to its face!
Floyd is just setting himself up for a future where his bank account flatlines and he needs $100 to bring it back to life, but he can’t, because he tried to impress a bunch of assholes in a club by burning up a $100 bill. Think of all the things Floyd could’ve used that $100 on. Floyd could’ve bought 1 Steve Buscemi dress or 5 Costco sheet cakes for Gremlin Frankie.
TMZ also reports that burning real government money is illegal, but Floyd isn’t going to face charges.
I’m just going to tell myself that this whole mess had a happy ending. Hopefully, somebody at the club rang up Sheree from The Real Housewives of Atlanta and let her know what went down. Then Sheree hopped on the bus, rode down to the club and scooped up the ashes so she could pay her water bill. The end.