Jessica Simpson Makes Out With Her $15,000 Birthday Gift
When Papa Joe prayed for Jessica Simpson to put her lips on an overpriced orange leather bag, he was referring to himself and not a $15,000 Hermes Birkin bag. (Bitch should've been more specific.) On Jessica Simpson's 31st barday, her leased whore and fiance Eric Johnson gifted her with a big orange leather bag that she puckered up to just as her ass lips puckered out a wet orange air kiss (she's dehydrated) into her chonies. Blame the morning beer.
Yes, Eric should've really given Jessica a Hermes enema bag since that gross bitch is gassier than a pig in a cabbage patch, but the Birkin bag was still a sweet gift. You know what would've really made me AWWWWW in my warm place? If Eric Tweeted a picture of him kissing the black American Express card with Jessica's name on it that he used to buy her $15,000 gift. Even the Hermes salesperson made an AWWWW when Eric asked them if he could get cash back.
Source: JSimp's Twatter via USWeekly
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Not very Christian like at all Jessica. :(
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Submitted by becky n sydney on Tue, 07/12/2011 - 5:19am.
That bag is so large it could serve as luggage. Everything from Hermes is hand-crafted, but I doubt this ditz cares about anything but the name and the price. Reminds me of getting bored during a lecture or three at uni and counting designer handbags to amuse myself.
Vintage things ARE well-made. I absolutely love old things which have held up well. They seem special.
Submitted by A.cotw on Tue, 07/12/2011 - 4:57am.
AC it is!
I'm not a fan of the colour orange, and the size is obnoxious.
Simpson seems to be suffering from the same juvenile syndrome as Paris, Blohan etc where she has failed to mentally become an adult.
As for the 60s bags, I love vintage. Probably better made, too. :)
Submitted by becky n sydney on Tue, 07/12/2011 - 4:37am.
Submitted by A.cotw on Tue, 07/12/2011 - 4:33am.
Good morning, Ms Citizen!!
Isn't it just the most appallingly vulgar bag ever?
Good morning,Becky! No, SHE is appallingly vulgar. The bag would be fine in another setting, in the possession of someone else. I don't like the color but it could work-picture a chic lady in Florence or Milan dressed in one color, such as white or tan, carrying that bag.
What do you think of carrying old lizard or crocodile bags from the 60s, instead of new designer bags?
Salacious,Jack and the original Catholic School Girl call me AC.
That bag is huge, and the size alone is enough to make it fug. She's always carrying large bags, as if she has to carry 4 lunches and a couple bottles of liquor with her everywhere she goes.
Seriously, what do people have to carry with them all the time that they need such huge bags?
Submitted by A.cotw on Tue, 07/12/2011 - 4:33am.
Good morning, Ms Citizen!!
Isn't it just the most appallingly vulgar bag ever?
That color is absolutely hideous. Money and the fancy things it can buy are wasted on a woman without dignity,taste, or brains.
*reports self for attitude*
Over-sized, orange and vulgar? Someone must have turned Snooki into a bag. For the first time in her life she has a useful purpose.
It really is one of the most tasteless handbags I've ever seen. Small wonder Simpson loves it.
"Revenge is sweet and not fattening"
-Alfred Hitchcock-
Of course MK nailed it. While reading the post I was thinking "bitch paid for her own b-day gift."
Does her leased piece even work(not counting the "work" he has to do in the bedroom*barf*)?
Also, bitch thinks she's better than Jackie O !
BITCH Please! ! ! She is fat, deluded and stupid.
I guess a happy meal just ain't gonna cut it!
Someone should take her to a slaughterhouse and show her how that bag was made.
Bet he bought her a knock-off. That is all the leech and afford.
Jess always reminds me of the first 90 seconds of this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n5ohqAI5TOU&NR=1
Why is she still relevant?
What in Kentucky Fried Hell is she Wearing???
Gross pajama bottoms? Is that the new look?! Oh, eww. Between this and the Tony the Tiger shawl, I'm really left wondering.
Oh, a $15,000 purse? Dint notice.
.
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Submitted by Tinam on Mon, 07/11/2011 - 12:30pm.
The nouveau riche disgust me. Their blatant displays of conspicuous consumption just scream "pay attention to me!". A blue blood like Jackie O would have thought that was tacky.
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Agreed 100%. I notice that on Facebook as well. It's the mecca for self-aggrandizing narcissists.
My sis showed me a few photos of mutual friends. The caption "Here's a picture of Katie, wearing her Tory Burch shoes, just like mommy! She wanted me to take her picture so badly!" Katie is 5 years old. I was frickin' floored. The other photo was "We got Jennifer a baby shower cake in the shape of the Gucci diaper bag her husband Tim surprised her with!" Katie's mom and her sister Jennifer are totally nouveau riche hos from the wrong side of the tracks who somehow married well. Their parents are po' folks who love to put on airs that they have money. They're the types who have a luxury car but live in a shitty apartment. Jennifer in particular was married to a thug who cheated on her right after the marriage, but then she married a nerdy little doctor the second time around. If he even knew what a Gucci diaper bag was, honey, I'd be worried about which way he swings. Glad you got yourself something nice, but to blatantly show off is so gauche.
The third photo was from another girl. It was a picture of a Chanel gift box and a Gucci one. "Look at what my husband and parents got me for my birthday!"
Vomit.
That's what the receptionists at my spa make in a year. She always looks like a hung over bloated dirty haired bad breathed layabout slob in 10 day old dirty pyjamas I see in the CVS at midnight buying tubs of cookies and cream ice milk and Suave hair products.
I don't think orange is her color.
Can I spend 100,000.00 on a polished turd?
Is that on freakbay.com?
Didn't she smell the bullshit emanating from that sack of crap??
Victoria Beckham has one that cost around $100,000. People are going to spend $$$ on the things that they want.
(973) Jersey Strong
Ha-Ha, jokes on you! It just a Hermes box with a horse's feed bag in it. And your new hat is just a champagne bucket with a bow.
http://www.lucyfan.com/photoweek223b.jpg
The price of that bag will have paid part or all of the following debts..
1:my MasterCard $4,000.00
2:$11,000.00 off my personal loan
or
3:Pay off my car in its entirety
4:financed my trip to the Bahamas or Hawaii or Tahiti or 5:I'd have been able to make donations to the Aids Council of New South Wales (ACON) or sponsored a local or overseas child or made donations to New Zealand & Japan earthquake relief or Queensland flood relief...
The world we live in...
Does it look like I've given up the meth?
Tevness.
That bag would pay my rent for an entire fucking year. BITCH.
If that bag's for carrying around Jessica's between meal snacks, it's not big enough.
I see two bags in this picture. Both are bloated, over-rated and not worth the attention they receive. It's good to see how deep Jessica has gotten and I'm sure this relationship will last forever. Or until her business manager gets the bill for that hideous bag (the orange one).
I'm sure inside the purse is a nice pair of streeecccccttthhhh jeans for Not Fat Jessica!
Submitted by Mrs. Voorhees on Mon, 07/11/2011 - 11:55am.
Imagine opening the bag and finding Ashlee's head inside! Now THAT's a birthday present.
"What's in the box? What's in the box????" LMAO
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Mr. Kinney is so vain:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=895h7Fr0m-o
Definitely bragg-worthy.
Not. She could have used that 15 grand towards a year or two of higher education.
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Thanks, Thought Police. Where would any of us be without your vigilance?-Kenneth G
Oh and to the fat chick, if STUFF is how you validate yourself, your parents did a fucking awesome job...STUFF means shit but then again I don't know what's it's like to WANT or to be unattractive and have to mask my insecurities
Oh, STFU, you vapid twit. Nobody cares about your fugly purse...or you!
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Mr. Kinney is so vain:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=895h7Fr0m-o
First of all this retarded whore needs to leave Jackie O's name out of her mouth... as IF she's in the same category...Mrs O wouldn't be caught dead in a sweatshirt, hillbilly shorts and shoes 4 sizes too small...SECOND, this desperate pig bought herself the fucking bag, the hired help doesn't have 15k to drop on a fucking bag...nice try doofus
I don't understand why some people don't get it. For some a luxury bag is an investment or a statement. For some it has everything to do with their self worth/self esteem. I'm fat and don't look good in what most skinny women wear but I can make up for it with my accessories and I do. If you can afford to spend the money and no kids or pets are going hungry or living without utilities, go for it.
I am more woman that you'll ever have and more man than you will ever be.
First, what's with the reference to Jackie O? She wasn't known for carrying a Birkin.
Second, that's not a $15K Birkin unless it's made of an exotic skin I can't see. That's a $9K "starter" Birkin. Either way, her brokeass kept boy can't afford one on his own.
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"You are fucking bitches, this is my prom!"
Where the hell was that picture taken, at a halfway house?? A crackhouse??
Pretty sure Jackie O is spinning in her grave knowing a Birkin bag has to live in a world where stretched out barf green cardigans and plaid pajama bottoms get the thumbs up.
This bitch said "Jackie O who". I legit think her dumb ass was really asking who she was.
-.-
The internet, where the men are real men,
the women are real men, and the children are the FBI.
Give me 15K and I can come up with something better than a bag for a present.
I call bullshit that she didn't know he was buying that shit for her.
She would have checked her bank account statement and found 11 July 2011 - Hermes - $15,000.
This cunt is a sad hoe paying for some frat boy to fuck her and buy her presents with her money.
At least Jennifer Aniston doesn't do that, she dates guys who make their own money.
That photo looks like a scene from "Hoarders." I can't wait until he robs her and dumps her dumb, shallow ass.
In defence of the bag, it is a fully bespoke process with every piece hand cut and assembled in Pantin, France. Only the best parts of the skins are deemed good enough to use. When you consider that you can pay $3000 easily for a piece of crap made on a Chinese assembly line, it's actually good value - if you live in that world and it doesn't make you sick to spend $15,000 or more on yourself to carry your phone, wallet and lipstick around.
I've always wondered about the costly engagement rings and gifts given by these guys who make nothing in comparison. I guess the 'allowance' is meant to be saved for such things and then she can convince herself that he bought it with his money, that must be the way it works.
In defence of the bag, it is a fully bespoke process with every piece hand cut and assembled in Pantin, France. Only the best parts of the skins are deemed good enough to use. When you consider that you can pay $3000 easily for a piece of crap made on a Chinese assembly line, it's actually good value - if you live in that world and it doesn't make you sick to spend $15,000 or more on yourself to carry your phone, wallet and lipstick around.
I've always wondered about the costly engagement rings and gifts given by these guys who make nothing in comparison. I guess the 'allowance' is meant to be saved for such things and then she can convince herself that he bought it with his money, that must be the way it works.
Where the hell was this photo taken? Is she squatting in an abandoned house?
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Masturbation is not a GD game of Clue, there is no reason to head to the broom closet with a rope and a lead pipe. --michelleb
Jessica Simpson is a vile piece of shit.
Her broke ass boyfriend is such a hanger on its sad. She's an idiot.
He can afford that?!
www.theinfamouslife.com
www.twitter.com/so_infamous
THIS BITCH WILL NEVER, EVER BE JACKIE O!
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"Submitted by suckandfuck on Fri, 04/16/2010 - 5:46pm.
I would slaughter a thousand babies for an hour alone with Mike Rowe."
She is so embarassing. It's like she has to sell every relationship that she is in.
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Be kind to animals, or I'll kill you.
All she needs is a teacup-sized chihuahua in that bag.
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""There is no chicken or egg. It's molecular." - Lady Gaga
I can imagine wasting $15K in lots of ways but this isn't one of them.
I would get more enjoyment just throwing $15K in $5 bills off of a tall building.
I am sorry, but I don't understood why people need a bag worth $100 or more? My husband always tells me "you must be ridiculous if you ever think I'll buy you a $1000 bag! When there are people starving!" Point taken, lol. I guess I can do without the Louis Vuitton and Chanel bags.