GOOP Of The Sea
Answering the question, "Who in rich bitch hell works out on a treadmill on a yacht in the middle of the sea in Italy?", Fishsticks Paltrow sweat off her lunch of imported Swiss air and white swan eyelashes before slipping her double dollop of GOOP drops into a white bikini and playing in the ocean with her daughter Nectarine, her son Hosea, her brother Jake, her godfather Steven Spielberg and Kate Capshaw. Unfortunately, Fishy didn't fall off the yacht, develop a case of amnesia, get rescued by a trash boat and collected at the hospital by Kurt Russell who makes her take care of his boy brats, which teaches her a lesson about humility! Nope, that didn't happen.
You know what else didn't happen? SHARK ATTACK! That's not surprising, though, because no shark is going to fuck with her. If a shark wanted to bite something long, hard, white and GOOPY inside, it would eat a whale's dick since that shit doesn't leave an aftertaste of cold pretentiousness.
And I hate myself for getting a 2-second tingle while writing "long, hard, white and GOOPY inside."
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seriously, that Tracey Anderson shit makes chicks look like fucking building blocks....get some running shoes and jog the fat off for a normal body...my man likes my ass, hips and my 25 in waist just the way it is - FEMININE...the "Biggest Loser" chick has a better workout plan and you will look like a woman...30 day shred or something
That is not an attractive body.
Why is she never anywhere with her husband?
Her face is so average. Her body is good but you know she only smells the fresh pizza from her damn stone oven rather than consumes the calories, eats fruit for dessert, and drinks shit like cucumber water so screw that.
Nothing wrong with looking boxy, but if you want a waist, try yoga twists. They really do pinch it in a bit. And belly dancing helps a lot also. I think that Tracey Anderson chick is ruining figures with her hardcore/anti-feminine physical ideal. But this woman is in shape, though I don't really want to look like that. I'm working out to be more Jlo, less Jello (GONGGG) :P.
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"on the bright side, she can use her tit skin as a belt."
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Fri, 03/11/2011 - 12:24pm.
That first pic looks eerily similar to the "Caption this - for July 8th" leg!!
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YOU AIN'T GOT NO MONEY!!!! MOVE THE FUCK ON!
~But.Seriously.Folks
and stuffing his face with canned cheez and greasy hamburgers.
is her husband EVER with her? jeebus, what a strange marriage, if you can call it that. i bet chris martin's off on the road banging every groupie around.
Submitted by MudTurtle on Sun, 07/10/2011 - 9:52pm.
I'm also glad some of you dudes here don't find her awesomely sexy, lol. Been beating myself up for gaining a few pounds (6, which is a lot when you're 5'2"!) and I just don't think that id rather be shaped like a box!
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I'm 4"11 and when your short, curvy, and ethnic a few pounds show everywhere. I feel for Janet, Mariah, and Paula who all struggle with their weight. At least no one is watching me.
Goop is like the snooty rich girl at school who no one takes seriously. I went to private school so I've seen a few Goops in my time.
She doesn't have a pooch. You people saying that are on crack. It's physically impossible for her stomach to be any flatter. I would love to see the people's stomachs who commented about hers.
To say she has no shape and is too skinny is fair. But certainly her stomach is as flat as it can be especially after two children.
well, she's in great shape but not sexy AT ALL!!!!
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"Basically, Murlonio means "from Rob's ass" in Dumfuckanese." MK
"WE ARE THE TRIFECTA OF HATE ENTER THE TRIANGLE." Sucky 6/14/11
Her personality is awful and I'd like to snark, but I can't hate on her body here. She looks like she's in great shape.
Well, she's in shape.
I have no waist anymore, either, so I can sympathize with that. What waist I had disappeared after having three children. There's nothing you can do about it. If Gwyneth is in that kind of shape and doesn't have that nipped-in waist, I won't either.
I can't find anything enviable about her. Not her looks, not her personality, not her lifestyle. I'd rather be on a dinghy in Lake Michigan with my husband than a yacht on the ocean alone.
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Try to be original, like the Colonel Sanders (may he rest in peace with his secret spices and shit). - urmomma
I agree with everyone who posted that her hubby is NO WHERE in the picture for the last couple of years.
I don't know the woman, and I find her pretentious.
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Brevity may be the soul of wit, but to twit without wit is soulless -- Johanne Savoie
That's not a pooch. That's her internal organs.
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"You are fucking bitches, this is my prom!"
seems like her hubby cannot stand to be seen with her...she seems incredibly lonely and insecure...sorry her body is too damn manly for me...a-la that Bensimmon trainwreck...to masucline...and too worked out...and I love all her "natural" poses...she still sucks as a person on my list...and hasn't done a decent movie in eons...I think her time has come and gone..thank God.
What an asshole working out on a yacht. Her whole existence is geared towards making you feel bad about yourself :) 'Tater my ass, can't fool us with your approachable smile on your fake cookbook, I know you ate 6 caviars on a lime slice for breakfast.
Thank you MK. You started my morning out with at least 5 minutes of belly laughter. That beats a treadmill any day.
fishy running her curveless body freely through the world, while that husband of hers is NO WHERE to be seen...
this must be what a goopy life is all about...
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Charisma, Uniqueness, Nerve and Talent...
She has no shape at all, she's just a big rectangle up and down. This ladies is what punishing workouts by Tracy Anderson will do to you, turn you into a box shaped white dog turd.
I find the commentators comparing their bodies to hers to be very sad.
The people bringing up the fact that her husband is usually no where to be found are dead on. And what the hell. Who works out while they're on a yacht? A control freak. Take a fucking break for once in your life.
most of the times i laugh at this punchable trick,but then i think of how shitty and mean she must be to her employees and the hate returns.
LOL @ her daughter Nectarine...
hahahha this bitch!
why do we hate her? how can we hate or pay attention to someone this boring? I'm gonna go watch some oatmeal sit in milk. well! that's my kind of entertainment! i'm posting on a post about gwenyth paltrow
HOTTTTT!!!!!!
She's built like a man, no hip to waist ratio whatsoever, but hey, she's working the hell out of what God gave her. I'm all for people being in the best shape possible for their body type. I hope she doesn't get that overworked, sinewy muscle tone and keeps the right balance of fat and muscle she's got going on.
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I like living this way. I like loving this way.
At least Kelly Bensimon has brains.
Submitted by Boo1212 on Sun, 07/10/2011 - 7:55pm.
angel, could you imagine juliette lewis going after goopy? i SOOOOOO would watch that shit!
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YES! Now that is some television entertainment worth watching right there!
♥ Threadkilla!
Girls watch porn too!:
http://www.collegehumor.com/video/6478389/girls-watch-porn-too
I believe she does have small breast implants. JMHO
If I had the money, my husband and I would totally have houses next to each other-with lots of visiting time, though.
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"my brows could subtract that WTF look on your face so move along"
Ugh. Mannish physique.
http://girlunemployed.blogspot.com
Everyone keeps talking about aggressive tummy tucks, but has no one noticed she has a pooch? She and Alessandro Alahambra (yeah I aint trying), the man-faced model both have thatt baby stomach, they're just masters at holding it in, same with Kate Hudson.
No tummy tucks, they just suck it in 24 hours a day, which is why you can have 10 pics of them, but only one will show the side view during the rare moment she exhales and let's her pooch show.
That being said, I'm not impressed that a tall skinny woman is... tall and skinny. Tracy Anderson, you lizard-looking mother fucker, can suck it!
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Will there always be concerts where women are raped? Watch me make up my mind instead of my face. The number one must have, is that we are safe.
MK you forgot this one
http://tinyurl.com/63lofft
I'm also glad some of you dudes here don't find her awesomely sexy, lol. Been beating myself up for gaining a few pounds (6, which is a lot when you're 5'2"!) and I just don't think that id rather be shaped like a box!
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Thanks, Thought Police. Where would any of us be without your vigilance?-Kenneth G
Mudturtle - well said, I totally agree...
*braids Granny Wrinkles back hair*
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Anyone can get screwed, its not rocket science.
Submitted by kate773 on Thu, 06/23/2011 - 11:06am.
Submitted by MudTurtle on Sun, 07/10/2011 - 9:35pm.
I'm not rich or anything, but I'd like to think that if I had time and money for this stuff, I would seriously enjoy having my husband with me.
Nicely said. Or, if your marriage has tumbled into the potty, as I'm pretty sure hers long ago has, to stop the pretense and bring a young, muscular man on vacay with you.
This is probably in the category of TMI but I'm a hairy mofo. I do have very dark hair and as I've gotten older, hair does grow where is shouldn't...
I keep the wax industry in business.
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"Yeah, I'm like herpes.......I disappear for awhile but you can never get rid of me!"
Submitted by mahaatma on Tue, 06/28/2011 - 2:48pm.
Submitted by MudTurtle on Sun, 07/10/2011 - 9:35pm.
I suspect Chris is absent by choice.
Can't blame the guy.
I'm not rich or anything, but I'd like to think that if I had time and money for this stuff, I would seriously enjoy having my husband with me.
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Thanks, Thought Police. Where would any of us be without your vigilance?-Kenneth G
She's got the Kelly Bensimon syndrome. These ultra toned girls who get aggressive tummy tucks after their babies run the risk of looking like this --- taught skin over defined muscles but no defined curves from the thighs to the shoulders.
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"You are fucking bitches, this is my prom!"
I don't have a problem with her body, but I really don't think this woman has a single drop of sensuality in her. She probably thinks about flower arrangements and organic nuts when she shags.
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Pearls of Wisdom from JJ - "If ass-holes could fly, you guys would be an airport"
I feel pretty. ♫
Oh so pretty.
I feel pretty and witty and wise. ♫
And I pity any girl who isn't me tonight.
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Ick! Nast! Her body does not appeal to me in any way. No femininity to her figure. No curves. She is just a narrow board with a square behind.
I don't find her sexy at all... I actually thought JLo looked much better in the willy post and I fucking HATE JLo.
And what's up with her husband not ever being around... seems their relationship would fit some damning blind item.
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Anyone can get screwed, its not rocket science.
Submitted by kate773 on Thu, 06/23/2011 - 11:06am.
She has a teeny tiny pooch in some of the pictures. Is she preggers?
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Those of you who think you know everything are annoying those of us who do.
At least she didn't get bolt-ons and butt implants.
She owns her body and keeps it fit (via all of the moula spent on personal trainers and other sundry slaves at her beck and whim).
I keep fit and thin because I don't have a problemmo with depriving myself of junk and I love to dance which keeps me fit and limber.
Boo yah!
I'm loathe to admit any similarities between this dingbat and me, but B.C. (before children) I had a similar body except I always had a big bosom (even when I was thin). I had a small ass, big boobs but not really a cinched in waist. Now, my butt is bigger to balance things out more.
Actually, she had a miscarriage last time around. She had Apple in '04, Moses in '06, and was pregnant again in '08. In Feb '08, the NY Post ran a blind item asking "Which movie star recently suffered a miscarriage? The heartbroken actress is now talking about adopting." In Jan '08, Gwyneth was hospitalized for a "gastrointestinal situation" and rumors of adoption came soon after:
http://icydk.com/2008/02/12/is-gwyneth-paltrow-adopting/
Why is her hubby never around?