Posh gave birth to half of her weight this morning and now David Beckham has told us on his Facebook page the name that will be glued onto a panda fur Christmas stocking in canary diamonds next to the stockings of Cruz, Romeo and Juliet. Without further adieu:
I am so proud and excited to announce the birth of our daughter Harper Seven Beckham. She weighed a healthy 7lbs 10oz and arrived at 7.55 this morning, here in LA. Victoria is doing really well and her brothers are delighted to have a baby sister xx
HARPER SEVEN?! If seven crime-fighting mockingbird superheroes formed a group, they would call that shit Harper Seven. If Harper’s Bazaar created a Cylon based on Caprica Six for some reason, they’d name that ho Harper Seven. If Valerie Harper created her own cocktail using Sandy Duncan’s tears and 7up, she’d call that shit Harper 7.
Apparently, they gave Harper the middle name of Seven, because 7 was the number on Becks’ old Manchester United jersey. And because Seven was born in the seventh month, during the 7th hour, weighed 7 pounds and was born to a skeleton wrapped in alien skin who inhales 7 calories a week and sacrificed 7 virgins to the devil in exchange for a permanent opposite smile on her face. But we all know the real reason why Posh & Becks named her Harper SEVEN! Because they want to make George Costanza weep!
Or maybe they’re just trying to outdo Six LeMeure from Blossom. Didn’t work.