Baby Posh Has Arrived

July 10, 2011 / Posted by:

Keeping with this weekend’s theme of birthing out unnamed babies, Posh Beckham gracefully lounged across a cashmere-covered hospital bed this morning in L.A. and struck a series of simmering birth poses as doctors wearing scrubs designed by her delivered her first baby girl who slapped the doctor with her pout and scowl eyes. Did you really expect a spawn of Posh to show an emotion other than judgmental indifference? Baby Posh was probably rolling her eyes before she even opened them. But don’t worry, Becks provided the “high-pitch screeching like a soprano hyena” soundtrack in the labor room since Baby Posh will only use her vocal cords to hum out a sigh at all the poorly dressed whores around her.

People has all the details you don’t care about (aka everything but the name).

The pop star-turned-fashion designer and her soccer star husband David Beckham welcomed a daughter at 7:55 a.m. Sunday in Los Angeles

The parents of three sons – Brooklyn, 12, Romeo, 8½, and Cruz, 6½ – announced they were expecting a girl in March.

“Brooklyn, Romeo and Cruz are excited to welcome their new baby sister to the family,” says Beckham spokesperson Jo Milloy.

The girl weighed 7 lbs., 10 oz., and was born at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center. No name was announced.

Almost 8 pounds?! Damn. Are we sure People didn’t confuse the weight of Baby Posh with the weight of Posh at her fattest? If Posh wore a pair of 5 pound diamond-embedded platinum heels, bitch still wouldn’t weigh 8 pounds! They must’ve weighed Baby Posh while she was wearing her Louboutin bootie heels and giraffe leather capelet.

You know, there is a major part of me that wishes Posh gave birth to the second coming of Shiloh. The quake caused by the tension in her face after her baby dry farts at an Alexander McQueen princess gown would be strong enough to wake Posh’s relatives in the Death Eater lair.

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